I don't know anymore

[Lixus]

Some things don't change. You change, people change... But some things just keeps being the same.

Depression, that awful creature who is always trying to destroy your mood.

Obsessive thoughts, that type of scenarios that your mind creates and they're always trying to put a wall between what you really want and how you feel about it.

No matter what do you want to do, no matter who you want to be, if those two things get in your head, then you won't be able to move cause your mind is split in two parts who cannot agreed. You can be the same person but you're not having the same feelings anymore...

Sometimes I feel like my life is just pointless...

[LiveandLetLive42]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Depression is awful. The only thing we can do is pray and train our brains to not think so much. It's hard work, but definitely worth it. I wish you all the best and I'm here if you need to talk X

[Lixus in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

Thank you so much for your reply ✨ I really appreciate it

I guess it just comes in waves you know? Some day/week you can be doing ok, the next you get depressive//obsessive//anxious thoughts out of nowhere...

I specially hate when I disagree with my own mind and have to reach a state where I can "ignore it" and move on, you know what I mean?

[Arniestal in reply to Lixus]

Thats true it comes in waves. This week has been horrendous. Tuesday i was calling samaritans, and other healthcare people trying to get help. Wednesday i see my little granddaughter all day and bang depression not enters my head. Im totally different how can that be, its like magic. Today Thursday im trying to remind myself of yesterday if only i could see her more, be with her more.

[LiveandLetLive42 in reply to Lixus]

Absolutely I know what you mean! I hate the ups and downs. We just have to appreciate the "ups" and hope they come more often

[Lazy_dog_lover]

Boy, do I hear you, my friend. It is a combination of a tug of war and a roller coaster. Just when we feel like we are getting comfortable in our lives, some trigger kicks us down.

It is so had to trust our own judgement, especially when you see the two sides. Do you sometimes feel like you forget what happy felt like? I have done so much research on positive mindsets, mindfulness, meditation, and I still can’t find that elusive inspiration that motivational leaders say got them out of their funk and pushed them to realize their dreams.

No life is pointless, Lexus. Some days, I wish it were easier. Some days I want to quit fighting. Some days I need to feel the pain to remind myself I can still feel. But I never quit. I somehow squeak out the other side.

I hope you find your kick in the butt that I usually need to move on. Do something for you, then do something for someone else. Remind yourself of people you have met in your life. If you met them, they met you and you both were enriched by that. Peace.