Depression /anxiety doesn't mix with anger issues.

[CassJ2525]

Okay so this is my first post. I'm not sure if this falls into the realm of subjects posted on here but I've never had anywhere private to speak on things or anyone who didn't just talk about things I would tell them. So here it goes.. I've lived in TN and Florida all my life. Had some awful relationships very few good ones, all the bad ones have been men honestly. However I am finally with someone I always wanted to be with, thought of him to be my soul mate but when we first got together we had some issues and he was snap chatting and fb women all day while I was at work then hiding it from me saying he didn't even use snap and honestly me being the trusting type I just thought everything was fine. Months of his phone on silent had me feeling otherwise so I did something out of character and checkers his phone for once and saw it all. Tried to work through it but I came home from work one day and he had takin his stuff and left my daughter and I. Time passes and we dont talk, we do finally and he begs me for one more shot. Things have seemed to be going well ever since, so well that I moved to lousiana with him so he could be with his family and us. However sometimes I am suspicious and can't seem to get my old behavior back, like I'm not myself anymore. I have always believed in not controlling who you are with and if there's no trust then there's no point. I have trust some days but not others though I know deep down he's not doing anything wrong to me now but in my head I feel like I am not pretty enough or good enough or there's something about me that causes men to cheat and get bored. I'm not the party type of girl.. I'm happy to be a mother to my only daughter and I've always just worked to take care of us as her dad has been out of the picture since she was 8 months old. ( cheated on me while I was prego) So the man I'm with now that I do love has anger issues, he is supposed to be on meds but since we moved here he had to redo all that to get back on meds and hasn't yet. So most days as soon as he wakes up he's back to cursing and angrily asking me where stuff is as he gets ready for work and he just seems so mad. But he tells me it's his unmedicated anger and not me. But I've never been the fighting type..i don't like it I just wanna be happy. I am trying to understand him but I just don't get it. I have my depression and anxiety as well but I'm still medicated for mine and it helps but not fully of course. Anyway some days I just wonder why he's like this and what I could possibly be doing wrong now. I just don't understand.

I'm sorry this was so long I shortened as much as I could.

[Isinatra]

If your boyfriend was on meds for his anger issues before and things were ok for you at that time, the ball is in his court now and do the responsible thing and move toward getting back on his meds. It took me a while to get used to the idea that I am not responsible for another’s happiness. You don’t have that power. You can only do so much for that person, then he has to take up the slack. It’s not you, it’s him. Try to be strong and stay the way you are, intuitive and caring.❤️🏄‍♀️

[CassJ2525 in reply to Isinatra]

Thankyou. I just have trouble believing it's not me when the same things seem to happen no matter what guy I'm with. But I see your point as well I'm hoping he gets back on the meds.

[CassJ2525]

Honestly that is a major worry for me. I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking it's normal for the man you are with to be so angry and hear any argument. I want her to be happy and comfortable as well and she loves him like a father so I'm trying to work through this so that everyone is happy but some days I'm just so damn sad and I wonder why I did all I have done to be with him but other days I can't imagine if I had made the opposite decision. I only grew up with my mom as well and she did a great job about protecting me, one would say overprotected me quite a bit. So I was a kid for far too long and now it seems like kids aren't really kids for long at all due to home situations and social media. The last guy I was with I was with him for years and he ended up ditching my daughter on numerous occasions as well as his own little girl Mattie. I felt she was my own just as my daughter is. But when I refused to put up with his behavior any longer my daughter and I were no longer allowed to see Mattie and that broke both our hearts, because to them they were sisters. I just don't want my daughter to feel abandoned again and I'm trying my best to make this work so that she doesn't feel that way and that we can both be happy.

[FearIsALiar]

Welcome to the group!! It’s okay to post anything on here really.

I actually got out of a toxic relationship in November. It was all long distance and went on for 3 years..I was being cheated on the ENTIRE TIME. He had a girlfriend way before me.. I felt like something was off because he would always tell me he had to work late on every holiday which he made a good reasoning for it. He finally admitted to the cheating in July which started a lot of my anxiety...he basically told me he chose me over her...so I was like wow that’s so sweet...so eventually after some time I got back with him...he continued to lie about things and also he told me some of the things he did lie about. I was so devastated because I was so stuck believing they were the truth. the more he revealed those lies to me the more it hurt me more and more. He was extremely toxic. Still kept in contact with the girl. They broke up in January but he kept contact with her because he owed her money. I ended up breaking up with him for good in November. Couldn’t deal with it anymore. It was so unfair to me. I just wanted to share that with you because I know how you feel. It absolutely sucks.. I am slowly trying to find myself again.

Also I know it won’t be easy but I really think you should leave him. That is not good for you or your child! Think about it...would you want your child to have a father who is abusive? You aren’t doing anything wrong. You can PM me if you’d like xx