The guilt is killing me

[Fatima_sh]

How can I forgive myself for the mistakes that I’ve done and move on from them when the people that I’ve hurt aren’t forgiving me? I feel like I won’t be at peace until I am forgiven for my mistakes, but I know that this is going to take a long time and it’s not something that’s going to be fixed in a day or two. Guilt is killing me at the moment and I have nightmares almost every night. Sometimes it feels like the only solution is disappearing for good, which isn’t good and I’ll obviously never do it, but it’s just a thought that passes by my head every now and then.

[gerrerd]

Everything is a lesson our mistakes are lessons to be learned from ! take the lesson and move on ! you then become a better person !! we dont stay the same we change ! guilt is pointless if you cant change it guilt will serve no purpose ! live in the now, thats all there is !

[FearIsALiar in reply to gerrerd]

Great advice!!

[Fatima_sh in reply to gerrerd]

But I can’t live knowing that my sisters don’t trust me anymore and that they think I don’t care

I’m trying to move on, but I can’t!

[FearIsALiar]

Accept that you are human and you are bound to make mistakes! As long as you learn from those mistakes you will be on the right track. I’ve had people hold grudges against me and not forgive me either. I ask myself “Would I really want a person in my life who doesn’t forgive?” Really they are just doing you a favor. You don’t need people like that in your life who aren’t forgiving or can’t accept that you are human too. These people make mistakes as well.

[Fatima_sh in reply to FearIsALiar]

These aren’t people that I can live without... they’re my sisters and I really want to regain their trust.

[FearIsALiar in reply to Fatima_sh]

Why don’t they trust you though? If you don’t mind sharing!

[lillyofthevalley37]

Ask God to forgive you , it may take time for people to forgive but confiding in God and repenting is a good thing imo and I am.certain God will appreciate that

[Fatima_sh in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Thank you so much. That’s actually a wonderful idea ♥️

[Fatima_sh]

I really wish I didn’t make this stupid mistake... of course there’s not point saying this now, because the damage has been made. I hate myself sooooo much at the moment and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself 😔

[Fatima_sh]

Thanks I’ll try ♥️

[EllaAlexandra]

Would you forgive your friend if a friend had done this to you? - likely yes. No one benefits from guilt to linger. You ve learned your lesson. Now it only prevents you from shining your light. Give it some time. Know that you are already forgiven. You show such morals by suffering this much, you are a good human being. Now focus on kindness for yourself. You deserve to set yourself free. Sending you lots of love!!

[Fatima_sh in reply to EllaAlexandra]

Thank you, Ella. I really have learned my lesson and I swear I am going to change and be better to my sisters and myself. Thank you so much for your kind words they really do mean a lot to me. What you said has brought a tear to my eye... I will slowly forgive myself ♥️

[Marysblue]

Even if you aren't religious, you could still go to a pastor or priest and confess what you've done and ask for forgiveness. I have done this and it's very freeing . Or just call one. There is nothing you've done thats not forgivable and nothing you've done that thousands of other people havent done also.Give your sisters some time, they may still be angry. That will fade.

Work at forgiving yourself, you could repeat to yourself everyday I am forgiven. When I knew better I did better. That was then this is now.

[Reading_Rando]

We can't control what other people think/feel (and shouldn't try to) but we can try to manage ourselves. I like to think that mistakes are a kind of opportunity to learn something important about life. Yes, they do hurt and sometimes it's hard or even impossible to fix what we have done but we can only be what we know how to be. One can't immediatly be an extrovert if you've been an introvert your whole life, one can't make the right choice if you were never tought how to emotionally do that. Making choices is a skill, one which we can all spend an entire lifetime developing and still not master. The only way to get better at making choices is to make mistakes and learn from them. It always hurts, but pain is the price we pay for growth. We can't control if other people forgive us but we can always forgive ourselves. We have to be compassionate to ourselves and beleive that we are worthy of our own forgiveness.

[Gentlespirit]

We forgive so that we may be forgiven. Others forgive hopefully out of understanding wisdom and life experiences. Mental health and medical issues etc. Can cause problems . whatever happened it sounds like you haven't forgiven yourself yet. I wish you well on your journey of healing forgiveness and self discovery