Ok so I did go on another date.. but can you really blame me? I didn't want to be alone for christmas. First was with a girl I was so happy to be friends with on christmas day and I had a good time. The next day I had a mormon guy asked me out. I was so attracted to him and for the first time ever, I met a guy who was looking for something serious, someone family oriented. Someone he could see himself building a future with. (This was yesterday) He picked me up and knocked on the door! wow never had that happen. I usually just get a text. He opened the door like a gentlemen and we ended up going out to eat and mainly talked about what our future goals were and how our future goals mashed up together. I usually end a date after we get food or drinks but he convinced me to go sledding. I was not that interested because I was thinking of sliding down a small hill or something. My dad took me and my sister to do this one time with cardboard! Anyway, he was way more prepared for it than I was. We drove up a mountain and he zipped me up in a huge snow coat to put over my jacket, put his gloves on me, took out a sled and we started walking up the moutain as far as we could. About 20 minutes i'm thinking jeez this is terrible, I can't feel my toes, he's asking me a whole bunch of questions that I couldn't even answer because I was completely out of breathe almost gasping for air. I was miserable and my throat started to become sore while my face became frozen solid. The higher we got I felt like I was going to collapse so I grabbed his arm and said woah woah wait can we please take a break and he held my arm back and put the sled down on the snow for me to sit on. I was taking in as much air as we joked about a survial show. We laughed so much and I gained the strength to get back up and we walked way past he's ever been. By the time we passed everyone up we got on the sled and went what felt like 100000 mph on this sled. WHO KNEW sledding would be this fun I was in shock. I had the time of my life! We almost ran into a few things but he did a great job steering and I just immediately saw a future with this guys, as if I'd drop anything to try to make this work. However as soon as the date ended he opened the car door for me, walked me back up to my house like a gentlemen then barely texted me like he was before. It went from back to back texts to me barely hearing from him after he seemed to like me a lot. I hate comparing these men to my dad but I just thought of how my dad took me sledding, and I felt closer to him when I was doing that. I want something serious with this guy and he said he did to, and didnt care that I wasn't mormon because he mainly wanted a bestfriend or life partner. He made me even forget about hunt.. never thought I'd feel like that! but now its nothing.. and hes went all days throwing me little crumbs. I'm sorry for this vent.. I don't understand how I can get hurt this fast. But it seems as if we don't even know what we want until it's right infront of us.
Another let down from love.. - Anxiety and Depre...
Another let down from love..
do you think this guy is or he is just not interested in me? I don't have anyone in my life let alone someone I trust in real life which led me to this site initially. Thank you for rresponding!
I think you will find that his religion will get in the way and yes he probably likes you but for the wrong reason.his reason would be I don’t like my controller life and I need to find some one to escape with
That's what really hurts me because even when people say they want something serious it doesn't mean anything. Still he is way better than most guys who instantly want to take you to some random bar. He was safe and family oriented and actually fun which made me want something more. I understand. But no choice for me if I don't get any reciprocation 
it hurts maybe the new year will make us feel better. Thank you again Hidden
he could be.. but the good ones, that would be an amazing father. they never want me.. its only the users.
I just, dont understand i guess.
Hi grace.
I think your trying to hard to be with some one.
Is this because your in a rush to life going ?
I’m pretty sure you can’t and shouldn’t start thinking that’s it I’ll have you for a serious relationship and start planning the future.
It seems to me you’ve kinda scared him of.its good practice to go on date not to think I need or want a life partner.it takes time
But if your searching for some one so you don’t want to be alone that won’t work.
You need to love your self before considering loving another person.
Also perhaps try liking your company.if you do well done.
I’ve found most females finish a relationship then start another one with in six months because they don’t like there own company or can’t handle being on there own.if you’ve had let’s say a relationship for a few yrs it’s impossible to clean the slate completely clean.there will be feelings and emotions to clear up and sort out.
oh gosh it does sound like that.. i know but he actually is the one who was asking really personal questions and stated he was looking for something serious and he wants to be with someone who wants to have kids and would be a good mother. before him, i wasn't looking, I was mostly just seeing what was out there and nothing interest me at all because I was still on a guy I dated for a couple months starting in march and even before that I was single for two years! But now im scared that im just oblivious and maybe i am scared of being alone. I want to be self aware thats why I love your honesty, truly. I dont have much friends to tell me things like this. but i agree with you, something scared him off maybe it was my instant want for comitting to him. where do i even start?
Hi ya.im usually truthful straight to the point.it usually grabs attention and gets the brain thinking.
Firstly I would get to like your self and your own company
Do you like your company.ppl who can’t do it is usually there scared of it being so quiet they have no choice but to feel there feelings they don’t like and get upset.
I say face the fear straight on then it can’t snow ball out of control.
And personally I wouldn’t really want to get hitched with a religion that you most probably won’t get invited in to.
There very close and I wouldn’t be surprised that he just wanted to escape and touch and feel reality which he probably hasn’t had for some time.
So imagine if you get married.
He’s got married to you to escape his life and your getting married to him so you don’t have to deal with the feelings you don’t like.
Christ.doesnt sound like a very honest start in life for one another plus your getting married for the wrong reasons
I hope you get me.
I don’t know your story so I don’t know if you live with your parents ?
How old you are ?
What you do for a living or your a student
I'm 25 years old and i've lived on my own for a while. I would say i'm comforting being alone until I get a taste of what company feels like. Not just any company, but company that makes me feel comfortable. I won't go for anybody it has to be someone who shows me respect. but wow has your words opened my mind a bit. esp the part where you asked about how our marriage would even be if that happened in some other dimension. I guess I shouldn't be so heartbroken over a future that I could of had. but i admired his potential, a recent usc grad, motivated, handsome, respectful, and responsible and so much things I don't see often. I'm going to be a healthcare professional and most of my life is dedicated to school (but we are on winter break now) so I did go on two dates this winter break and a few other meet ups from a friends app because i dont get much social interaction that when i do, it wears me out. A LOT. maybe you're right.. i was just an ecape which i guess isnt necessarily a bad thing if we no longer talk but man.. does it hurt it hurts still. You helped more than you know though.. truly!
Thank you for the support. I appreciate it and try my best to not overthink it just really sucks :,(
My experience with men is that they get scared off easily so it sounds like you came on too strong. A first date is far too soon to know if someone is the one or not. I think you should concentrate on having fun and taking your time to get to know someone a bit first. Be casual and calm otherwise you come across as desperate and needy.Try to see men as potential friends rather than potential partners, people to have fun with first and foremost.
Having said that I gave up on dating in my 50's after every man I liked always seemed to want sex and not a relationship and that was that. Maybe it's just the men where I live but I got so disheartened I stopped it. I do have men as friends and who knows one day in the future? You never know what's round the corner.
Fancy going out for some fish and chips ? No sex
Yes ha ha xx
I don't think i would have came off strong if he didnt come off strong first.. yikes.. i guess thats my excuse to make myself feel better. @hypercat54 you're right.. it seems as if most men want hook ups and so it's easier to get attached to ones who seem to have so much to offer more than just sex. I absolutely love your advice.. being casual and calm is my goal from now on. instantly friend zone them! haha jk. but you're right you never know whats around the corner! we all want love, after all, its what makes us feel alive at times. This guy... he brought so much hope to the future..
Aren't mormons big believers in women staying at home and just having children and being housewives? Not sure I would like to be controlled like that. Would you?
sorry that stinks. Happens all the time. And it's so easy to fall so fast for someone; I do it all too often lol, so I get it. I've just dealt with that too, talking to someone and then it's just no more. It has nothing to do with us. If it's not there it's not there. You'll find someone no problem👍
It can be hard not to take something personally when you thought something was there. but thank you! very comforting to know you can also relate to this. and I hope so!
Right, I could have gone down that rabbit hole, but that would only invite more pain. I know it's hard to let go but we have to move forward. Who knows what could be around the corner? 😉
absolutely. you're right, its best for us to keep moving forward.. to keep looking at the future rather than whats behind us. 2021 is around the corner actually x)
Best to go through some short pain now and move than ten years down the line you’ve got ten kids he leaves because he is bored then you’ve got ten yrs of pain to go through.
It’s sounds like I’ve hit your core,your brain is going like hmmm this sounds interesting.your brain says well I’m 25,I’m old enough to have respect payed to me and hey I’m learning life and stuff.hey I’ve moved on from being the,I’m 21 super cocky things knows every thing but actually knows jack shxxxt lol.
You sound as though you’ve been enlightened by what I’ve said.
I’ve been where you were 25 long yrs ago.i found a lot of my friends just got married got the house and the baby as once they got to 25 they had done a lot of life and was wanting the next adventure.
Yup I know all to well how over thinking starts to play on your brain.thats simple your just lacking in the part of your confidence and the belief of your inner belief system and actually trusting.
I read your bio.WELL DONE for getting out and doing somet nice.
It’s nice when us guys opens the car door or let you through a door way first.there ain’t to many of us left.dieing breed.no one gives a fxxck any more and it’s just excepted unfortunately
well to be fair he did say he wanted 5-6 kids and maybe me not wanting over 3 also scared him. xD jk. I was pretty open and thank you for acknowledging the fact that it is really difficult for me around other people my anxiety gos through the roof its just more unmanageable when its more than one person. If i'm with one person i'm less likely to be ignored or constantly cut off and judged. a fear i wish i didnt carry at 25. Now i have a better idea of what I can work on that "inner trust and belief system." Your age comes with lots of wisdom.
Hi LGrace
It is upsetting to hear about this man. It sounds to me he was the one being serious first and you were being honest when answering his personal questions.
At the same time I am suspecting that maybe some external events happened since your date and he is unable to communicate with you?
Could I suggest that you don’t think about this event too much as from what I’ve read, there is nothing you have done wrong. And whatever happened is outside your control?
Thank you @greenmann for responding to me and considering more positive logic to it. You also recognized that he started it and that makes me feel less crazy.. sometimes we question ourselves. External events did happen where he is traveling, however, he was traveling when he first reached out to me and messages were coming from him back to back before I could even respond. He was asking me many questions through text trying to keep the conversation yet today, no more than 1-2 text with no questions about my day. I asked him a question yet he hasnt gotten back to me. I just caught on to how people respond when they're interested. I feel cheated again because it lead me on because he was showing me what life could be.. im not sure if im wording that right. But either way, I believe it's all outside of my control at this point and i'm picking up the pieces once again.
Ha ha that’s funny I was thinking I may put well twice your age I’m now old enough to say ahhh I’ve much wisdom.
Ok let’s get one thing straight
More than one person you get ignored and judged.
There thats your belief system letting you down and also not helping with your confidence.
No one is judging you and you’re not being ignored.the only reason your being ignored is perhaps to need to communicate more which yer I get it why it may be hard.
Ok get this.i suffer from paranoid personality disorder.
So I’m on anti psychotic medication which has taken ten yrs to get right.
But before that.imagine a grown man going to bed then suddenly the thoughts start racing the fight and flight mechanics start to cut in the adrenaline hits the roof twice the height or the normal male.
Your shaking and can’t stop
Your sitting in the corner of your room hiding from the fear that not if or but,but I’m ready I’m waiting for some one to burst in through front door with a chain saw to cut me up or I’m going to be kidnapped.
I’m now being sick down the toilet.
My head is spinning
I’m looking through the letter box is any one there.
My wife who I was with but not now.
Her words it’s ok no one is there.
What ppl don’t recognise is it’s a pyscitic episode and how ever much talking there is to calm me down it’s not my body you need to convince it’s my brain and the unfortunate thing about all this is even I can’t get my brain back in order so I just have to wait the usual four hours with my brain constantly telling me I’m going to die.
So you I know how you feel and it’s always good to read some ones bio
do you know what triggers the panic? Sometimes with cluster A personality disorders there arfe trigger maybe you had watched a true crime show or recently remembered something traumatic from your childhood? it does sound quite scary especially when you're finally realizing your safe but your body is still is panic and survival mode and you cannot control it. Glad the meds are finally right although it took quite some time.. a decade at that!
Nothing seems to trigger it apart from my brain just letting lose.
I’ve gone up to a car at midnight with a base ball bat as I was convinced there was a person sitting out side of house and watching.
It’s so of the wall as you know what I get a massive build up but then nothing happens to me so I try to build on that
Ok I’m of now.better get my sleep for another busy day ahead of me lol.
Was lovely chatting to you and I hope you find what your looking for but the harder you try the you will succeed
Xx
Tiggerakafidgity I enjoyed the chat as well you might have saved me a lot of tears tonight (im a emotional person if you havent already noticed, ha) but yes get some rest.
Night night special person
Just pm if your ever stuck of what or how to think if you wish but wait till tomorrow xx
Have you tried texting him?
Yes :/ no response.
What did you say? You can PM me if you’d like! I have been in a similar situation.
Hi LGrace, how did you meet this guy and how long did you guys text before going out on a date?
Hi there! thank you for responding! we had met on instagram. i messaged him first congratulating him about his graduation after he liked one of my pictures. i feel embarrassed to say but we had only been messaging back in forth for about two weeks and talked on the phone a bit before meeting
You’re welcomed and Don’t be embarrassed, two weeks is perfect. You don’t want longer than that either. And too much texting and talking for too long before meeting up are not necessarily either. So he was the one that initiated the whole looking for serious relationship right?
Yes when we were messaging back and forth it wasnt serious just us making each other laugh here and there and talking our typical day is like and random stuff. it wasnt until he called me and told me he wanted something serious and what he was looking for and idk how we came about his religion but i told him i wasn't mormon and that was the only awkward thing on the phone so i told him id talk to him later and he messaged me right after that saying how much he enjoyed talking on the phone and so i felt comfortable enough to say dont go to sleep i have a question.. and he said im an open book ill stay up so you can ask me then i asked about the mormon thing and that when he went into depth, long messages about what he wanted and how i shouldnt worry because mormon is just a plus if i could be his best friend and partner that would matter more. And gosh in person he went way more into depth and was smiling our entire brunch. sorry that was lots of info but it just happened yesterday so my mind is still very confused by this.
To my knowledge, Mormon doesn’t have to marry another Mormon as long as you accept his religion so don’t focus on the point of you don’t have the same religion with him. He must had fun with you during dinner in order to continue on spending time with you. During dinner, he spoke a lot about life plan and children which I find very strange for young man at that age on a first date. Did you feel any chemistry during the dinner, sledding , any gestures like hold your hand, touched ur back/ hips, ur hair that kind of stuffs?
Me to, im a very shy person so i told him that i wasn't into sledding. I wasn't comfortable in the cold. I would have ended it there although i liked him. But he really convinced me he kept saying i have everything we need to keep you warm and i said why not. at brunch we talked nonstop and there was definitely potentional for a fun friendship but i didnt feel chemistry until i sat between him on the sled and he pretty much held me all the way down the moutain and thats when it really hit me that i also wanted something serious only with him and then i was noticing more that he wanted me to wait so he could open the door for me. he was sweet yet shy but talkative haha. i'm glad im not the only one thrown off by this. maybe there was something about me he couldn't see a future with and thats whats really getting to me. I know we should communicate but i think i am also old enough to get the hint if he went from tons of messages and questions to zero. no checking on me or anything.
At this point of first date, there isn’t any serious future plan in order to decide to continue seeing you again. It is 99 percent based on chemistry. Some people are more or less shy than others. U can tell a lot of things by the end of the night when he said goodbye to you. Did he give you a kiss on the cheek? Even Eskimo kiss at all?! Or kiss your hands?!
good point there.. i guess he must have not felt it the way i did. he did not but thats because i kept a distance after our hug before i went into my house but he did text me once after that saying if i wanted to hang out more to let him know because he was still close to my house getting a car wash (it was snowing so this threw me off) haha and we had already spent all day together so i told him that i had a good time ended it there because im such a loner that even having a great time with a person, it does take a lot of my energy. but i was so excited to see him again until instantly i noticed he didnt text me the rest of the day other than "goodnight".. then today nothing but two texts that didnt proceed any conversation. no reply. but yes you're right.. one date he isn't obligated to.
I’m writing you because I want you to be at peace with yourself at this point. There’s nothing wrong with you or with him. You guys weren’t on the same vibration. I think he is pretty mature in a way not to led you on by prolonging contact. Save you guys both time. You’re 25 lol Next please 👍🤗 I guarantee u will feel so excited and everything with someone else u will meet in the future. Best wishes 🙏xxx
Thank you Hidden gosh i hope i can get over it as fast as it started! hahaha (really crying on the inside) but no really it did help and i agree its mature of him to let me know early on. Thank you again!!! 
You’re welcomed! I know it’s fresh but one date won’t matter lol. Plus 5-6 kids I read, what is it Papasmurf ?! 🤣 I find put on a facial mask and listen to music will take ur edge off 😆
Well maybe for Him he didn’t feel any Chemistry? Just thought he’d make the Best of the day? He should of at least texted You that he wasn’t interested So you could Move ON. But since he’s Not you should be up front and ask him or text him to tell You the Truth instead of playing games with Your Heart?
Hi Want2BHappy3 I hate hate to admit it but you’re right... I also now see he may have just wanted to have a great day, seems like his personality. He gets a lot done. This is insane but he did finally text me!!! But it wasn’t till 10 pm and the last message I sent him was around 2 pm.. so the making me wait that long was a clear sign that he doesn’t like me the way I like him. I agree with you I wish people were more honest about how they feel.
Sounds like it was a great date and as you said he really tried and went for something far better than the usual bar type date. Unfortunately though sometimes the chemistry just isn't there. I've been on dates that I've thought were excellent and almost fallen in love, only for them to disappear or let me down gently. The same has happened the other way round. I've had women say they can't wait to see me again while I'm thinking god no, never again.
What you do have on your side is age! You're only 25! Try not to date while considering the rest of your life. Go on dates to have fun, to enjoy the evening (or day.) If it's a great date, and if he comes back for more... Then start to think about the rest of it. Let it progress a little more naturally and don't put pressure on yourself, or them.
If you think it's hard now, imagine doing the same in your 40s. Believe me, it's bloody awful, and there's far less to choose from! I wish I was 25 haha.
Yike.. I hope he wasnt thinking “never again” as well. It’s hard because I thought he felt it to by how he was smiling.. and treating me.. but people just don’t want to be rude I guess I understand it. It’s just really hard when you finally meet someone you can actually see yourself with long term. If it makes you feel better, even at my age it’s still difficult because there’s just a ton of these games I still don’t understand. But I do believe it’s probably a nightmare having to pick between less people with more issues and deal breakers, sad to say that... I appreciate your advice and hearing a bit of your experience dating. Thank you so much Sleeplessme !!
Well done on putting yourself out there and going on another date. Very brave.
Thank you so much Bigbrighteyes96
You always will be disappointed if you compare every man to your father. Also you are expecting too much on a first date. It doesn't sound like you are ready for a husband. We all need to grow in emotional maturity, self knowledge and self confidence in order to be and attract healthy marriage partners. If you just want to date to have fun, just look for friendship right now, don't make it so serious.Best wishes on your journey!💗
It’s almost impossible.. looking for a fathers love. Thank you for responding. I do appreciate the advice and honestly. This post makes me feel younger than 25 haha because I was crying over one date. It could very much be the emotional maturity thing. I will try to not take it so seriously thank you so much again@tara52
Your awesome, just let someone take you out for a fun date. If someone isnt kind & respectful, dump them!💗
This whole post is the story of my life!! 😆 You're definitely not alone!
I’m glad you can relate nono19 😆 it’s hard out here for love.
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