When you you missed out on life,growing up, sex,making friends

[Yearsoflonliness]

I dont know what to do anymore. Growing up anxiety disorders one by one developed. I became bi polar but two years later that was changed to schizoaffective disorder which is schizophrenia mixed with a mood disorder. In real terms i basically have both schizofhrenia and bi polar. My anxiety disordets are social anxiety disorder, ptsd, and panic disorder. I also suffer from permanent depression l, insomnia(insomnia i guess is under the anxiety blanket so i guess i have 4 anxiety disorder. I also am on the autism spectrum but barely thank god. People notice but ive mastered that so no big deal. My therapist and shrink said if my parents would of moved between the summer before 6 grade and the summer after like literally and i truly mean that id be fine. You see i lived in a city surrounded by detroit. It was tough but people had fist fights. Problem is everyone moved cause within 3 years the middle and high school where decent school and by the time i got to sixth they both where in the botzom 8 worst scholls. Why? After 911 people first left cause at that point hamtramck had the biggest muslim populazltion in the state, 3rd in the country. Then houses that where normally around 200,000 started to sell between 10 and twenty grand so slum lords invaded and the city was overun by dealers,prostitutes and basically what my therapist said people with anti social personality disorder. Which is the civil way of saying it cause really there sociopaths. Problem was we where the only family that stayed from before and the bullying was criminal everytime i made a move on a girl i was rejected cause they all wanted a thug not to mention my parents whete still making a combined 65,000 to 70,000 so i got broken bones for being riglch and suburban where i didnt belong. Also my sister was a crack addict. And i dont feel for her cause they though she was bi polar but then she got clean after a year her doc noticed awful behaviour now we know she suffers from psychopathy. I plan on losing 50 pounds and gaing as much muscle as i can by my birthday june 1st thats alot of time. I just feel like killing myself cause ive been told i would of been fone and wouldnt have developed these issues if my parents moved around sixth grade like 90 percent of the population they said they where but they where worried where would my sister go. Theres a 12 year ade difference between us where was suppose to move when i was 11 or 12. At that time she was 23 or 24 a ficking full blown adult. I mean i havent had a friend since the few left in the sixth grade. We eventually moved but i was 22. It was a tad to late to make friends and i also have no family beside my mom and sis im all alone and a man whos too old to be a virgin. I think of suicide but never act but between now a next december i have a feeling ill have to all o think about is what could i have done

[VDC1]

That’s a whole lot to deal with. I’m sorry man. Losing weight is something I can help you with if you want. I’m pretty knowledgeable in that department. Also, there’s no need to be a virgin either!! Go get laid man

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

You have been dealt a very tough hand and I’m sorry you are suffering so much. You feel you have missed the boat and that you’re life is over. I know it sounds like a cliche but it is never too late. As just one example, There’s no such thing as an age by which you are supposed to lose your virginity. Maybe things would be better if your parents had done some things differently but try not to get stuck there. Your life is ahead of you, not behind you. So glad you found us. This is a wonderful community that offers unconditional support. Please do not give up! There are many good things waiting for you though it’s so hard to believe that right now.

[EllaAlexandra]

You are young. Nothing you should have done by a specific age. All the things you want to have done, you can still do! People make it despite hardship. 'If only' (your parents had or hadnt moved) are dangerous words and not the reality. Despite what happened, you can be fine! Read 'morning miracle' and visualize the life you want to live. Be persistent. Put one foot in front of the other in the right direction. Skip the option of quitting altogether and you ll succeed!

[EllaAlexandra]

I have been thinking about you. You ll do great things in life! Start running for 20 min each day - ideally you get properly fitted running shoes from a running store -. Meditate 10 minutes and journal 10 mins. All first thing in the morning. Do each week something for someone else.