Ready to share (some of) my story - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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Ready to share (some of) my story

Brinks9 profile image
Brinks9

Hello! I am new to the site and have been experiencing anxiety probably my whole life. It didn't get noticeable until I was about 13, at which point I also had an eating disorder. I was going to the doctors almost every couple of weeks because I felt sick and light headed every morning before school and whenever i'd go out with friends. However, once my doctor noticed my weight kept dropping and it wasn't due to a medical condition she told my mom& my mom stopped taking me to the doctors. Since then I silently dealt with my anxiety even though I didn't have a label for what was happening. When I turned 20 I had my first big panic attack which caused me to leave work and ask my dad to take me to urgent care. I finally had a label to my terrible feelings: anxiety. I'm a psych major so I had some idea that it was probably what I was dealing with but I also figured I could get through it alone, which isn't true. From there my panic attacks became increasingly worse so I decided to start seeing a therapist. I saw her for a little less than a year. My anxiety was almost absent for about a year. Recently, it came back and is 10 times worse. My panic attacks are so extreme I experience depersonalization and it is terrifying. I was lucky enough to find a psychologist at school who I can see, but the sessions are limited and I can only see him when I'm an enrolled student. I am doing my best to overcome my anxiety and panic attacks but at times I feel like giving up. I feel like my social support is very weak/ limited. My parents recently moved to texas and my older brother and boyfriend are really the only local people I have. I have high school friends that try to reconnect sometimes but I can't bring myself to hang out with them or talk to them for a long period of time. I'm doing my best to get through this but I often feel alone.

15 Replies

You are not alone. So many of us suffer. Do your best to get out with your high school friends, for no matter how long it is. Then, count it as a victory! I am in the same boat. Keep up the faith.

Brinks9 profile image
Brinks9 in reply to missantz

Thank you for your support :) I am considering trying to catch up with old friends again. I appreciate the encouragement!

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if you need any thing your not alone their are people on here that would be happy to help you

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Brinks9 in reply to Hidden

Thank you :) I am glad to have found this community

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Hidden

Are you seeing a psychiatrist for meds? I’ve had anxiety my whole life. Tried functioning without meds and it just didn’t work. I’m now on klonopin and Effexor and feel great. You don’t need to suffer. Get some medical help (just my opinion!). Best of luck!

Brinks9 profile image
Brinks9 in reply to Hidden

I just started seeing a psychiatrist and am getting ready to start meds this coming January. I've been trying to manage without for a really long time and I feel ready to try meds. I'm a little nervous but I'm hopeful. Thanks! :)

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Hidden in reply to Brinks9

So glad you’re going to start meds. Everyone reacts differently to the meds, so ask dr for something different if you don’t get relief. I think I’ve been through 12 til found the best combination! And, don’t be afraid to switch drs if you feel the need to. I changed to my current psych when my former one would not take me off meds that had bad side effects. Remember, you are in charge of your body. Forgive me if I’m telling you stuff you already know! Best of luck and keep us posted.

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Hidden in reply to Brinks9

Just had another thought. I think counseling is crucial to managing anxiety. Will your medical insurance cover a therapist? I see an LPC. Might be a way to get in more sessions.

Brinks9 profile image
Brinks9 in reply to Hidden

I appreciate your input :) I will be switching insurances this coming january and had switched in the middle of this year becuase of my dad's job so once I learn more about my new insurance I can see if I can see a therapist outside of school. I'm just scared that its going to be very costly. That's also my concern going on meds as well. Through school it will be very cheap but I don't know how much it will cost outside of school.

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Hidden in reply to Brinks9

That’s definitely a concern. I wish you the best.

this forum is place for you to not feel alone! we are to hear to listen and help if we can:)

Brinks9 profile image
Brinks9 in reply to tiredbbygirl

Thank you :)

Oh my...I am three times your age and just started getting anxiety attacks. I am a Human Resources manger for a large company. This problem is not just for the young. Please know one thing, You are not alone AND you are not crazy like I thought I was. Anxiety is uncomfortable (at best) but I believe we can overcome it.

Brinks9 profile image
Brinks9 in reply to Maf46c

We definitely can! Thank you for sharing. Stay strong

I have been in your exact position just as many others on here have. I don’t know when this was posted but I hope you’re doing better. I have so many resources I had to find when I had nobody except my brother and boyfriend as well. Message me on here, I’ll give you my cell if you ever need to talk if you’re ever alone during depersonalization. I’m a psych major. Just lost my insurance when I turned 26. Had access to someone who was helping when I was enrolled at SMC. I’m from Houston, tx and moved to Los Angeles after having to get residential help for my panic disorder. You got this. Get the book Dare audible by Barry McDonagh. It’s his second book. The First one was panic away. The book comes with an app. It helped me when I was ready for it too. I’m here for you as is this entire community.

Sending positivity and healing vibes your way,

Xxo,

Kirby Lynn

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