At my wit's end... ?

[florapeace]

Hi everyone! I am not currently suicidal, but I have been experiencing these rapid shifts in the way that I feel. I have had a lot going on in my life lately (on top of pandemic and politics-induced stressors) and I'm not sure if I'm just fed up with the world or if I am actually losing my mind. Sometimes I am suddenly overcome by the desire to kill myself. It's all I can think about sometimes, and I went as far as buying a bunch of pills the other day to do it. I have since flushed those because I am really scared, but I know one of these moods could happen again very soon. Should I seek help? Is there something wrong with me? Or is this just a result of my previously diagnosed major depressive disorder. Sometimes it feels like something more.

[Hidden]

Hey there! I'm sorry your going through this. Are you seeing a therapist? You should reach out to one and tell them everything your feeling and going through. I pray life gets better for you. Just hang in there.