Hey, I understand how you feel. Having bipolar disorder is not a death sentence, you just have to learn to manage your feelings and moods. You are not a defective person. I personally think Abilify has helped me a lot, you just don't want to be on a very high dose of it. I used to be on Lithium years ago, it helped but it's difficult to have to have your blood drawn constantly and it is a salt and you will get very thirsty and have to drink tons of water, it can also give you dry mouth and do a number on your teeth where you're more prone to cavities. But psychologically the Lithium really did help me, but I can't take it anymore. Latuda is a newer drug, I'm not sure about that one. Keep in mind that everyone is different, what worked for me may not work for you. Just sharing some of my experience.
I was diagnosed with PPP after the birth of my daughter in 2017. I was admitted into a psychiatric hospital for 3 weeks. I was subsequently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 after linking up with a new psychiatrist outside of the hospital. I feel like I've tried SOOO many meds - lamotragine, wellbutrin, lithium, latuda, invega, prozac and I'm probably missing a couple. Invega got me out of psychosis. Lithium got rid of the mania. Latuda (the only one I'm on now) has kept me stable as I plan for a second pregnancy (or else I would still be on Lithium). And prozac and therapy got rid of my never ending depression.
Unfortunately you just have to keep trying until the meds click for you. But there is hope!! Once I got over the cyclical depression I was in, I was able to get back to working full time and living a normal life. Good therapy is key!
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