i don't know what to do with my "best friend". ***Trigger Warning***

[iamyukii]

i'll try not gonna try to make this long but, basically i've had a "best friend" for the past 3 years now. we were cool in the beginning, me and him got a long so well. Well, this past year things turned weird. He's 24andstarted dating a girl that had just turned 18. She had just graduated high school and everything. I thought it was a bit weird at first due to his age and since she just turned just turned 18 but, i didn't say much because i didn't think i should since it was his business.

Slowly he started saying uncomfortable things such as he was "helping" her become more of an adult. As in making her grow up more quickly to match him in a sense? idk. Also, he started to become more toxic, such as using heavy dr**s. It made me really uncomfortable. He slowly stopped talking to me for a while idk why. I also backed away for a little too because of how he was acting.

This year him and that girl broke up but, he got accused of ra**** her best friend. Even though we hadn't talked for a while i called to see how he was doing and he was on the verge of k***** himself because everyone thought that he did that. it wasn't true but no one believed it. his ex had put all over social media that he supposedly r*** that girl only out of spite because she was upset over the break up.

I was there with him throughout everything, and we became close again. Then about a little over a month ago he tells me that he was talking to his ex again. The same girl that put around all social media how he was this big r*****. Then he basically stopped talking to me once again. I feel like he just threw me out like trash. I know he doesn't owe me anything but the fact that i was there for everything and for him to just basically get what he wanted and then not talk to me was so upsetting. I'm not sure what to do, idk if i should continue my friendship with him or really just be done being friends with him.

Whenever he was with that girl, he suddenly becomes this toxic person and starts acting like an a****le to everyone. It makes me really sad because we've had a lot of good memories together and i have a lot of love and care for him. any suggestions?

[iamyukii]

yeah.... i talked to my sister a while ago and she suggested i cut things off as well. thank you.

[Hidden]

In my opinion I don’t think he deserves the title of your best friend. Or even friend in that matter. Not because he isn’t a good person. It seems you had a strong connection with him and you cared for one another. The thing is, that’s really not what friends do to one another—drop them as soon as they do not need them anymore. You seem like a great friend to him, and you deserve equal reciprocation in any friendship. You can care for him from a distance because idk if you even have a choice at this point because he distance himself. It’s not fair, and once again this is not something friends do to one another and I’m sorry you had to deal with that 😔

[iamyukii in reply to Hidden]

thank you....it makes me sad knowing i have to end my friendship with him but it's for the better.

[Reading_Rando]

There are just some people that are bad for us and bring us down. Maybe they care about us in some twisted way or maybe they dont (something I've wracked my mind with before) but either way your better with them out of your life. No one should keep people in their lives who don't really appreaciate them, it's never worth the heartache.

P.S. As a dude older than that guy, I just want to say most guys in or past their mid 20s would tell you that a 24 yr old wanting to date an 18 year old is strange even if it's legal. Most guys as they grow older become more emotionally mature and and generally prefer someone at their same stage of emotional development. If he's 24 and deliberatly going after an 18 year old (who under most circumstances would be more immature than a 24 yr old), it doesnt speak well to his maturity.

[Hidden in reply to Reading_Rando]

Great thing to know! 😳 thank you for posting this for her

[Reading_Rando in reply to Hidden]

I wish more guys would have the maturity to openly talk about our BS both with eachother and with women but I'm probably hoping for too much. Life is so much better with people when all parties are open and honest.

[Hidden in reply to Reading_Rando]

I definitely agree. I think there would be stronger connections! and happier people if everyone was honest and open. Men get much more respect that way to (from me at least) when they are. Regardless of what they want.

[Reading_Rando]

I think you are right about outgoing guys compared to socially inpet guys (as someone who has been both). From my experience if a guy is outgoing and immature and older than 22-25, they also tend to be particularly emotionally stupid.