I am a female turning 58 on 01/22/19.
I have had anxiety & depression since childhood [alcoholic father, mentally ill mother, bullied in school K - 12 grades, shy & introverted, nightmares, bedwetter until age 12 when my dad quit drinking, parents fought every single day up until my dad died in 1997 at the age of 79.
That is just some background information on me. I'm new here.
I wasn't diagnosed with depression & put on antidepressants until 1992.
Anxiety & social anxiety diagnosis came later, around 2004 (when my sister-in-law, whom I was close to, was murdered by her ex-fiancee) & my mother developed dementia & had to move into assisted living.
Anyways, these days I am barely hanging on. Our family is going through a very difficult time right now. It is so bad, that my medications are not controlling my depression & anxiety.
I don't want to go to bed at night, or get up during the day.
I am a couch potato. I move from my bed to the couch.
I color in Adult Coloring books (mainly Mandalas) to get me through each day.
I see a therapist every week and a psychiatrist every month. I take my medications religiously.
I feel broken, and like I cannot summon the energy or motivation to help myself.
I literally don't know what to do!
I will not go into the hospital, because we had to admit our daughter & they misdiagnosed her & gave her Abilify (pills & injection) and now she has Tardive Dyskinesia & Tardive Akasthsia!!! And, her daughter (our granddaughter) was taken away. Her father has full custody of her & he will not let us see her.
Our daughter & granddaughter had been living with us for 2 1/2 years. We went 7 1/2 months without seeing her or talking to her. She is our sunshine! She is 4 years old. We are living in a nightmare!
I am sorry for the long post.