Do I give him up or no?

[Siara_14]

Just over a year ago my dad surprised me with a puppy at in n out when I got back from a retreat for women who’ve been sexually assaulted/sexually abused before 18. Little did we know how crazy he was going to be when he felt at home. My dog is my life but I struggle so bad just to take him outside to potty and poo. Recently which please don’t judge on this because it’s the only time it’s ever happened and I was having a bad day as it was. He took a poo in the house and I got upset so I went to spank him and he bit me super hard which triggered me and I got so upset I broke something valuable(threw it at the ground not my baby boy dog) which luckily my dads ex bought it for me so I don’t even feel bad about breaking it. I’m stuck in this apartment everyday all day and it’s not helping my depression and anxiety at all. It’s making it worse. My dad wants me to get rid of him but I still can’t bring myself to it. I feel like balling my eyes out. He’s basically a child. He poops and I get upset. Why? Because I for the longest time have always had to take care of someone or something and I hate it. He’s not potty trained and that’s my fault. I let my depression get the best of me and I blame my mom for giving me mental illness. I can already tell I’m becoming her because of my anger. We’re moving out of state soon and I honestly think that’s going to rid my anger. I have so much built up because I was raped here, that I take that anger out on my dad and dog and anyone else who wants to be close to me. I want to keep him more than anything in the world and my dad said he’d stop telling me to get rid of him but I need extra help I’m taking care of my dog while I heal. Honestly we’re moving 20 he’s away from where we live, we’re moving to my dads gfs house in a few months. She has a son and we’ve been through such similar things, I think he and I could be best friends. I really need someone who understands what I go through. I need a good friend... please any tips on what to do about my dog and if I keep him how do I get out of my own head and be a better dog mom and all that? My dogs like my child. I prefer him over an actual kid tbh.

[hypercat54]

Hi you have been through a lot and I am not surprised you are feeling so bad. The obvious question to ask is are you getting any help with your depression? Have you seen a doctor and are you on any meds or having any counselling? If not then that is the first step to take.

As for your dog every dog deserves a loving home where s/he gets taken for regular walks, is house trained, and is obviously happy and relaxed. It doesn't sound like you can meet the needs of your dog nor want to if you resent the taking care of him. I think it's as much as you can manage at the moment taking care of yourself let alone another living being.

Oh and I am sure your mother didn't give you mental illness on purpose! It won't help you to blame her for it. There comes a time in everyone's life where they just have to accept the s... hand they have been dealt and deal with it without blaming anyone else regardless of any role they might have played in it. x

[bantam12]

For the dogs sake he should be rehomed, he needs training before things get out of hand, if he's bitten once he is capable of doing it again so needs an experienced handler. Talk to your local shelter and get their advice.

[gogogirl in reply to bantam12]

I agree. I have a dog , and would never spank her! Your dog looks to you for guidance. For your and your dog's sake, please rehome him. He deserves better. Perhaps one day when you are feeling better, then would be the time to get a companion. A shelter might advise you about foster care for your dog where he can be with a person or family who does care, and takes in animals until they get a permanent home. Also, as you know animals mark their territory- he is not doing this on purpose but needs guidance. When someone hits and animal , it means that person is out of control. At least you had the courage to admit you have a problem - I give you credit for that. If the dog is causing you more stress, then it's time for him to have a different and loving home so you can focus on caring for yourself. That is just my opinion.

[HearYou in reply to bantam12]

If the dog bites once while being physically harmed he reacted normally. Doesn'tmean he will do it again unless he is being hurt again.

[kenster1]

sorry your having a rough time at the moment.most dogs will toilet in there house a fe times in the beginning to mark there territory and then it will stop as long as you train it and take it out.i have the same dog as you and she is hyperactive at times so need walking.my dog got me through the hardest period of my life and I could never give her up.she needs time and but more so a loving home.

[Lexica02]

If you really love something you don’t give up. As for your pet it seems you have had him for a year. What have you been doing to care for him. Do you keep him on a regular feeding and walking schedule. The dog is a cutie. But all dogs need discipline. They need to be trained where to go. If you don’t have a schedule make one. Start with taking him out every morning 1st thing. If you see him going in the house then you must quickly stop him and take him out Praise him and even give a treat when he goes outside. If you show him love he will return it tenfold. And he will be there when you need him most. I have a dog I love very much and when she is near me I feel better about life. If you really love your dog you will do whatever you can to train it before giving up. It will help you too because you will have something to focus on.

Good luck

[Justswimming]

I have same issue with my small.dog they usually can train to go on the wee wee pads so you can just pick up and throw out. My dog has accidents but he's basically my therapy dog because he gives me love when no one else will listen. You have to decide if he is helping or hurting you. If he is making your life harder then start looking for a good home. Cats are easier they just poop in a box. I'm very sorry for what happened to you. Must make you angry at the injustice of it and hard to trust. Hope you have a good therapist and a support group of people that went through similar experience. I wish you nothing but the best and will be praying for you to come out of this stronger and happy again. 😊

[X01WOOG]

Thank you for being honest. You are severely depressed. When you are depressed, you cannot even force yourself to have a routine such as taking a dog out, training the dog, etc. Your dog needs to be in a stable environment and received the care he needs. Don't blame yourself, depression is an illness same as cancer or any other disease. When you are stable, get another dog. In the meantime, call the humane society and let them rehome him. I commend you for telling and sharing. God bless you and hold you in His loving hand.