Anyone else have to parent either mother.

[Heyyouthere33]

Sorry. This is a something I have to get off my chest.

Every years its the same thing. She stresses over cooking or she just in a bad mood . Some years are better than others but when she is stressed she goes on this tantrum about her life or her husband ( my dad) or how her kids ( me and my grown sisters) are terrible.I've taken over cooking duties for 4 years but this year she wanted to cook so its not like I can alivate that stress. And I try so hard to get her talk but no , she turns away and said "it's better not to say" . And maybe it is but she's been saying the same thing for years! She hates the cards that life has dealt her and I dont know how to not to take that personally.

Uggghh I love my mom but I don't like her and its breaking my heart.

[Marysblue]

Yes I did. My heart goes out to you it's difficult. You deserve love.

It helped me to see my mother for the messed up person she was, unable to show up for her children and show love. And enjoy her family. How awful that is to live like that . Probably has something to do with her childhood. It's about her and not you. She's miserable in her life and not willing to do anything about it.

There was a book that helped me called Will I ever be enough ?Daughters of narcissistic mothers.

I know how much it hurts.

[Heyyouthere33 in reply to Marysblue]

I know she loves me and and her family but we shes in her moods, she cuts you deep. Im just not sure I can be the bigger person anymore.

[FearIsALiar]

My mom puts a lot of her stress on me for some reason...she complains about everything and makes it seem like my fault!

Just know you’re doing the best you can and I definitely understand how you feel.

[Heyyouthere33 in reply to FearIsALiar]

Yeah. I can only do what i can and thats enough.

[FearIsALiar in reply to Heyyouthere33]

Agreed

[Zhangliqun]

Do you live in the same house?

[Heyyouthere33 in reply to Zhangliqun]

Yeah.

[Heyyouthere33]

No, but I go to therapy. she doesn't like the idea of telling a stranger our business. Its very frustrating because she really needs it

[Hidden]

I feel a VERY similar way with my mom.. and being her daughter it’s hard to not take it personal because we have an expectation of how a mom should be. I’m sorry her stress causes stress on others but you have to be able to set healthy boundaries even if that is just saying ok, she is stressed, and instead of letting it affect me I’ll go and take a walk or vent to my sibling. Just an example.