What does it take for someone to "get it"?

[MiamiJacket84]

A genuine question. Obviously not everyone can understand mental illness and how it affects people. But even within people who have the same illness, it seems like there are so many grades of it that it's impossible for anyone to really "get it".

What does it take then? Having the exact same life experience is impossible of course, but is there a certain threshold that people possibly reach? It seems like for anyone to truly understand the true desire to not exist, one most cross that same line. But if that's the case, aren't they in just as bad of a position as you? It doesn't really help at that point. If anything, it just makes it feel even more like fate.

I believe the desire to not exist isn't the same for everyone who actually experiences it. I'd say they can be divided into two groups. True genuine desire, and impulsive desire. Impulsive ones are of course the better ones to be honest. Yes they are intense, but they're just that, impulsive. A hastily put together sloppy idea that eventually discipates after the emotions settle, regardless of how long it takes. Those are the ones that survive the most because of exactly that reason.

The other one however, is much worse. I feel like this is the one where no one can recover from, at least that's what my own personal experience has shown with myself and others who also "get it". This isn't an impulse. It's not intense emotions or thoughts in the heat of a tragic moment. Not one bit. It's a decision. A plan, a goal, an objective. Even if all the details aren't there yet, these people will continue to pursue this goal no matter how long it takes. Weeks, months, years, decades, I've seen it. This is the line that people cross, the line of true, absolute hopelessness.

If someone has crossed that line, and was able to come back from it, I've never seen them. Don't get me wrong, I want to believe it's possible more than anything, but no one I've ever seen really "gets it" like people who are just bad as me.

So I ask, if you or someone you know has crossed that line, of true desire and not just impulse, and was still able to walk back, please speak. I need to know if someone like that really does exist.

[hypercat54]

Your life sounds like a continuous nightmare. Haven't you ever had any good times at all? Everyone has some surely?

[Alpakka123]

I thought you have a 14 year old cat? You had a 19 year old one too? Wow!I'm sorry you had to put the 19 year old one down. That's so hard....

[MiamiJacket84]

First, I'm sorry you went through so much, and I'm sorry for your losses.

To answer your first question, let's just say it's because of built up frustration from people who just say it like it's nothing. Basically saying "I get it" and then immediately proving they have no idea what they're talking about in the following sentence. In other cases, I hear it from people who really did go through a lot but haven't crossed that line I mentioned, so it still doesn't feel genuine. So I wanted to know what others think "getting it" really means.

And as to your second question, losses. I've lost a lot of people. I've seen a lot of people be where I am, and I've seen a lot of people in various stages of different mental illnesses. I've seen what's supposed to be the lifeline for these people fail miserably, sometimes directly making it worse even. And I've also seen some people get better. I may be young, but I suppose access to the internet at such a young age allowed me to meet a lot of people, even if it is too much. So that's the experience that made me see these people as two groups. And from that experience, it's usually one or the other but maybe I am wrong, maybe I haven't seen those few people that can cross that line and still come back from it living a decent life. But until I see that for myself, it's very hard to believe.

[Alpakka123]

Oh, ok. Thanks for explaining that. Kennedy's cute. Thanks for sharing him.

[Alpakka123]

Oh, sorry. She's pretty. I bet she does!