Need Help

[Iwanttobhappy]

Hi, I just joined the group. I was diagnosed last year with depression,anxiety, add, and insomnia ( I have to take a pill to fall asleep every night). Last night for the first time in my life, I considered suicide, I just thought this is not a life, this is just suffering every single day. Im still trying to find the right medication but nothing seems to be working. I moved for a job last year and don't have any friends(and no one to talk to. I can't even talk to my family becuase no one understands what I'm going through. I'm fighting for my life everyday and no one knows it. I just want to be my Happy Self.

[AnxM]

Sorry to hear you’re suffering. You’re not alone. Many in this community are struggling everyday. Please don’t give up.

I read on here that if meds are not working, you can take a DNA test which would tell you which meds will work for you. Ask your doctor about this.

Have you tried mindfulness meditation? It has helped me. Not a magic pill, takes consistent work but it does help if you practice diligently.

[Iwanttobhappy in reply to AnxM]

Hi, thank you. I will ask my dr. about the blood test. I have tried to meditate but im not consistent.

[Agora1]

Iwanttobhappy, Never give up. From the day I read that Thomas Edison tried unsuccessfully to invent the light bulb, 1000 times. It was on the 1001 try that the

electric bulb was invented. If that doesn't show you perseverance, nothing does.

Finding the right medication takes some trial and error at times. The right medicine

needs to find the right dosage as well as the right time of day to take it. Sometimes just

little tweaks in our medication can make a big difference. Once you are on medication, finding other methods/tools to enhance your meds can help tremendously.

We can't rely completely in popping a pill w/o helping it along. I use Meditation and Diaphragmatic Breathing which ended up my no longer needing my pill. We each respond differently, so give it time, be patient and know that you are not alone. We understand and we care. Anytime you need a friend we are but a message away xx

[AnxM in reply to Agora1]

Can you please tell me more about Diaphragmatic Breathing?

[Agora1 in reply to AnxM]

Hi AnxM I can't say enough in how this breathing technique helped me in getting back

out after 5 years of Agoraphobia. Back to driving and going to stores. For me it has been

the "key" to my success.

If you go on YouTube, I think this short video will better explain in how it works. Practice makes perfect so that whenever stressed, you needn't think twice about proper breathing. It will automatically kick in.

YouTube...."Diaphragmatic Breathing Technique"

it will circle the video you are to listen to.

I hope this helps. xx

[AnxM in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much for this.

I was already curious after I read your earlier post. Then last night, I watched a Youtube video - a talk by the psychologist, Paul Gilbert, who founded Compassion-Focused Therapy. He said that Diaphragmatic Breathing stimulates the vagus nerve which helps to regulate our emotions. Since you had already piqued my interest, I became even more curious. Thanks for the tip on the Youtube video. I am excited about this. I like techniques which are rooted in biology and neurochemistry.

[Agora1 in reply to AnxM]

Me too AnxM (biology and chemistry) xx

[Iwanttobhappy in reply to Agora1]

Hi thank you for your response. I know people say it takes time but how long can a person go without being able to sleep. I literally have not been able to fall asleep for a 1 year.

[Agora1 in reply to Iwanttobhappy]

Iwanttob, sleep issues that have gone on for a year as well as thoughts of self harm need

professional help that we can't address. This sounds like a chemical imbalance which needs to be addressed immediately. When anxiety and depression interfere with you trying to have any normalcy in life, it's time to see a doctor.

Sleep issues can cause Fibromyalgia, a painful muscle and connective tissue disorder (which I have myself) due to these emotional issues interrupting REM sleep. The quality of REM sleep is necessary in order to regenerate the muscles and nervous system.

Besides a possible chemical imbalance, there can also be a deep rooted problem that has not been addressed and so you keep suffering needlessly.

It sounds like the time is more than right for you to get the help you need. We can also

help support you during this transition. xx

[Iwanttobhappy in reply to Agora1]

Over the last year, I've seen 4 different psychiatrist, 1 primary care, 2 neurologist. My symptoms still persist, no one can tell me why I have not been able to fall asleep for a year now. The suicidal thoughts are just recently due to these factors.

[Agora1 in reply to Iwanttobhappy]

Iwantob, you certainly have reached out to the top professionals. I am not a doctor but have a daughter who suffers from what I believe to be Circadian Sleep Disorder. Her internal clock has been messed up for years and I see the effects it has had on her psychologically and physically. In her instance, she won't seek help.

Some of her issues are that her cell phone is literally glued to her hand 24/7. She lowers the light on it but won't turn it off. She stays up all night playing games with

the tv in the background, maybe falling asleep for an hour or most days as she calls

it "zilch sleep".

She goes from bed to couch, has no active life. She uses anything she can to get some sleep such as Xanax or OTC meds or alcohol. It may clunk her out for a few hours but

doesn't solve the problem which goes much deeper. Besides the fact that her body and brain have now become resistant to forced sleep. She claims her mind is always

going a mile a minute and yet she doesn't see the connection in allowing her body to turn off for a while and naturally go into rest mode. But she won't seek help.

This disorder is real and worth going to a Sleep Disorder Clinic if that hasn't already been done. The body reacts to deprivation of sleep in some very serious personality traits. I am not a doctor but have seen this problem with my own daughter and thought I would share it. xx

[Iwanttobhappy in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your response. Unlike your daughter, I am not glued to my phone or social media. I just recently got a Instagram account , and I'm perfectly content without checking my social media account daily, weekly, or monthly...lol. Also unlike your daughter I live by myself and support myself. I do not have a mom or dad I can go Iive with in the event I lose my job. I have a professional job at a very high level where I have to report to the Director, CFO, and CEO of the company. That being said, I do not have the luxury of not being able to think and function clearly. If I do not work, I will not be able to support myself. Last year, a switch went off in my brain to were I cannot fall asleep on my own without taking a prescription pill( doxepin) to fall asleep. I would love to take even a hour (or a 15 min)long nap during the day but I can't . My brain and body just will not shut down on it's on anymore to allow me to fall asleep. I've been to two sleep specialist and they cannot provide me an answer. The only solution doctors have been able to provide me are prescription pills, which do not address the underlying condition. They cant even tell me what the underlying condition is.

[Agora1 in reply to Iwanttobhappy]

I so understand your position. My daughter also lives on her own and suffers from Anorexia leaving her little to no life. She is on Disability and only in her 20's. She was a CMA but couldn't handle no sleep and working.

Her brain and body won't shut down either. Maybe not for the same reasons but

maybe somehow they are. I too believe that there is an underlying issue that hasn't

been addressed.

I truly hope with you having a professional position that you get the help you need,

somehow, someway. My heart goes out to you. xx

[FearIsALiar]

Welcome to the group!!

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Guided meditation youtube just google

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Hi and welcome!

[JkBauer]

Good afternoon,

I am sorry that you are suffering so much. Medicine can be helpful to manage your depression, but what other things do you do to help yourself? Such as getting out to take a walk or listen to some uplifting encouraging music, do you like to bake, how about getting out to get a cup of coffee/ tea? Do you enjoy baking and making a plate of cookies for family/friends? How about making Christmas decorations or volunteering for the local homeless shelter? Or helping an elderly person with a meal or housecleaning? Do you have a pet? Maybe you can get yourself a pup or kitten. You could volunteer at the local animal shelter... I hope that something here can help you! I am praying for you! There is one last thing I want to give to you; If you ever have thoughts of suicide again please call this phone# right away- National Suicide Hotline: [phone].

[Careyon]

I’m glad you reached out to this forum. I know sometimes family just can’t relate to our individual struggles. But to you they are real and debilitating at times. I would suggest seeing a professional since you say you’ve considered suicide. Don’t put a period where you should use a comma. Your life is valuable and has purpose. Fight for your life and your happy place. You’ve gotten some good advice here. In addition to seeing a Dr. I would also suggest prayer. Pray that God leads you to the right solution for your symptoms. Stay strong and continue to reach out here on this forum. You’re not alone.