Alex Trebek R.I.P. brought back memories of my mom's death from pancreatic cancer

[Shnookie]

Hi guys It's Shnookie. Woke up this morning in a fair mood. Been procrastinating for the last few days so I knew that I needed to do things today to prepare for my new job on Tuesday. Looked over at my i phone and read that after a brave battle, Alex Trebek of Jeopardy fame died from pancreatic cancer. A wave of sadness washed over me. My beloved mommy died from stage 4 pancreatic cancer in January 2016. It is insidious. The 5 year survival rate after diagnosis is only 9%.

My mom was my best friend and I was her sole caregiver We went thru the whole process together chemo, hospitalizations, doctors' visits, etc. It was to say the least one of the most difficult times in my life excluding the current pandemic. Whatever bipolar/ADHD, I have, it was mind over matter and did what I needed to do. It was so sad for me to see my mom slipping away, but I tried to do the best I could to give her some sense of comfort and humor as well. I was lucky, we had many discussions during this time and my mom gave me the permission to go on with her life after she would die and ascend to Gan Eden - Jewish concept of heaven. Though after my mom died, I was grief stricken, I got out of my apartment after a month started attended a bereavement group and by May 2016 was working again. I had to do this to keep my sanity. After being a caregiver in an apartment even with someone I loved after 16 months and to honor my mom's wishes this was the best thing I could do. I was never in denial about my mom's death and knew that she wasn't suffering anymore. I'm also lucky because I have an old landline answering machine with her voice on it saying how much she loved me. I also belong to a charity that raises money for pancreatic cancer research, etc. In fact Alex Trebek and the Jeopardy gang were at one of our walks and we raised almost 1 million dollars. I'm not going to let this feeling of sadness take over what I need to do this week. I just want to remember all of the good times I had with my mommy. Thank U all for letting me vent. I feel comfortable expressing feelings like this in a supportive group like ours

love and hugs Shnookie

[Hidden]

You gave your mother such loving and good care....I am very sorry for your loss....may God continue to comfort and sustain you through the grief process. Hugs to you.

[Shnookie in reply to Hidden]

Thank U for your touching wishes. When U love someone so dearly, U want to do everything for them when they R suffering

in pain. Take care. Hugs 🤗 M