Im slightly on the spectrum and I just feel so alone. Therapy doesnt help...other men ostracize me...women hate me....I dont know what to do anymore I feel so fucking alonr
Male with aspergers and depression - Anxiety and Depre...
Male with aspergers and depression
Written by
musicguy23
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38 Replies
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You are unique and worth everything. Do you live with your parents? They are lucky to have you, I know I feel that way about disabled son. Try your best to delve into your interests drawing, music, reading and cooking. It will keep you going and use this site to support you. I feel like the luckiest with my disabled son by my son, he spurs me onto fight for his rights and life. I know it much struggle and very tough. But you can do it and live your life to the full.
musicguy23 in reply to
My parents didnt even tell me I was autistic until I was 21. They have been avoiding their own issues and so obviously they avoided dealing with me. They didnt prepare me at all. Im lost broken confused and want to die and have zero energy or motivation to pursue any passion or interest
Please don’t say that,your amazing and unique in your own way autism is not a curse it’s a blessing
Really? Is it really a blessing? You do realize that humans are designed to be social. We are social animals. And autism is LITERALLY a disability that AFFECTS my ability to be social. Its not a blessing. Its torture
No it’s not my brother has autism stop saying that your disability is torture I understand what autism is and I know how hard it is but you have to to think in the good side of things don’t let your disability define who you are it makes me sad that you feel this way
Well how do you think I feel not being able to make any friends?
Angry and upset and sad
you can make friends I am certain of that
Nope I am 23 with no social life
I mean you have family I think family members are like friends
Ok I'm not on the spectrum but I see many autistic people with friends and happy lives. Maybe therapy would help you?
As for making friends, I never picked up those social skills in my childhood so was alone and friendless until I decided to tackle it. I had therapy and spent a long time watching and studying how people interacted especially the more popular ones. Over time I learnt the skills and have never been friendless since. I was in my late 20's when I did this. I value my friends a great deal and would never want to be without them. I understand it would probably be harder for you but it's still doable.
Ive been in therapy for months
Is it helping? I had to change my mindset from I'm depressed and want to avoid it to yes I have nothing to lose so why not try?
I don't have autism, but do find it very hard to make new friends. I am not unsociable, nasty or unkind. It is unfortunately that people nowadays in general over the past 25 - 30 years have gradually become more insular, suspicious, distrustful and hostile, always on guard with big high self protective walls and barriers up in front of them warding off strangers and the innocent people wanting to form potential friendships will be pushed away, scowled at, even insulted and made fun off. People have become afraid to open up and let in people to their lives they haven't known since birth. People are afraid of the worse things that could happen, and don't see the positives of a new friendship.Don't beat yourself up as if you are the problem, lacking social skills. You have social skills l see that, it is probably a massive mix of how society has gradually become and some of it your autism. Haveyou thought about joining a drama group? If you have social skill issues and happen to like books, librarian is good employment to consider, train as a chef, vet, machani, kitchen hand, horse groomer. All solitary jobs someone around more sensitive tactile people, architecture, archaeologist. Learn to sing, dance, play a musical instrument, those things help with social skills, and help break ice and those kind of groups you will find more tactile sensitive people, confident but rarely rude or hostile. Also find groups for people with autism who may also be seeking friendship or more and in much the same position as you, but depends just where on the spectrum for autism you are, as you may not handle noise well. Good luck 🤞
Don't guilt trip the lad "l'm assuming" also he/she never mentioned anything about autism being a curse. Your brother may well have autism, but not all are on the same spectrum. Your brother may be significantly less on the spectrum than our friend here. Our friend here wasn't told they had autism until aged 21. May have had horrendous problems socially throughout life that knowing their condition much earlier on could have helped he/she better rationalise their behaviour and emotions and just explained to him/her why they struggled as they could have read up on their condition. Though do question if it ever went through his/her mind that they have it with how much they struggled socially. 🤷♀️
I do apologize but I also wanted to help him my brother is on the mild side of the spectrum he can communicate just sentences or words he has other conditions as well and again I do apologize
I suggest you reread your comments before you post them. They are very assuming, patronising and uninformed. And reek of immaturity, but l understand you want to help and that is commendable. And. for which you should be proud of yourself for attempting. And a young person may be glad of your younger more youthful advice. This is not meant to upset or offend you, l'm commending you for caring and trying. x Don't stop trying x
I Apologize you can report me 😞
Why would l do that. That is cruel and unnecessary. You are young and trying to be helpful, caring and kind. Nothing to report you for or about. x
I honestly think that I did nothing wrong my comments are not immature I have a sibling who has autism and I understand why he feels that way but I guess I am bad
You are not bad. Stop trying to guilt trip me. You did what you thought right, and l questioned some of it. Done now, over and done with. We all think and behave differently. Thank goodness we do. x
What did I ever do I had a horrible weekend had to witness something no one should ever witness I am not guilt tripping you I am 17 if you have something not nice to say then don’t say it just leave me alone
There’s no guilt trip. Move on. Have a good life
Take your own advice Miss 17 and stop looking for and trying to use awful events "which by the way we have all witnessed & endured" just for you to try and gain pity!
Not l trying to guilt trip, but you!
Move on yourself!!!!
I was trying to make you not feel bad but good for trying to help, and explaining we all are different so it wasn't necessary for you to have been trying to guilt trip me!
Maybe wait until you become an adult to try and help! As right from the start you have sounded assumptive, controlling and manipulative. Don't even think about trying to pull the innocent young age card. You are definitely far from it!
I'm listening to no more of your codswallop!!!!
There certainly was. Move on yourself! My life is good in many blessed ways thank you. Hopefully your own is/will be too one day sweetheart. Though remember you are on health unlocked speaking with people who have many problems health and otherwise. I will take your circumastance into consideration and wish you only the best. Goodnight and god bless.
in reply to musicguy23
Obviously, music is your unique talent - I don't understand music, scales and all that too difficult for me. But on my son he loves and reacts to music therapy. Is that not a talent that is worth sharing. You just have to spend 5 minutes on something else interesting and you will cheer up. It is how I accomplished my studies - everyday spend 5 minutes and that made alot of hours spent on my subject and slowly I passed in each unit. Just take time for yourself guided meditation youtube, just google and you will be able to cope with anything. I always look after yourself very important! Just a few minutes - it will do wonders!
musicguy23 in reply to
Yeah I tried auditioning for American Idol-didnt make it. Tried performing and it didnt work out. My music just isnt working out
in reply to musicguy23
But music therapy is different and you will give as much time as you want - first on voluntary basis and then charging - social services willing to pay people for their talent.
musicguy23 in reply to
And how am I supposed to afford a music therapy degree
in reply to musicguy23
No, just knowing anything at all about music - can be beginner or just using instruments - music therapy for disabled, autism and anyone - just ask social services at your council - that you would like to give your time for it
musicguy23 in reply to
I dont think I can manage helping other disabled people and kids lol I hate kids and am not comfortable around the disabled I also dont like teaching music
in reply to musicguy23
No force - you do what you are comfortable with - maybe other opportunities out there - speak to Job Centre after lockdown - Good luck
Why are you uncomfortable around the disabled ? I used to be like that but I learned a lot about disorders conditions syndromes it made me understand people more including my brother
No I cant. Im 23 and I havent done it yet
You can if you believe you can then you can
I would not let that define who you are as a person especially because with Aspergers most people do not notice you have it. I heard Aspergers is not a thing anymore actually. (Not to downplay your condition) I just feel there may be some underlying issues if you cannot make friends because there are others your age who prioritize making friendships. It’s actually shown in studies that our age group of people base our lives on meaningful relationships and friendships. I can tell from how you worded the post that you have a belief that may push people away (I could be wrong). Who was the last person you felt close to? Why did you feel close to them? Was it because you were able to be yourself? Do you have something to offer to friendships? You are worthy of friendships no matter what but I have found it very difficult to make friendships until I re evaluated what I was offering or bringing to the table. I wouldn’t give the reciprocation I wanted. Really ask yourself these questions before assuming people hate you or avoid you because I promise you there is someone out there who wants to care for you, but you really have to make room for them and if you’re always in your head about not being worthy enough there’s no room for other people to really enjoy your company and who you truly are.
Mijmijkey74 in reply to
How old are you? You are young still I feel, but very very intuitive and wise. I'm 46 and you have just woken and alerted something in agreement in my brain that I'm going to assess about myself. Your comment is full of sound and very wise and sensible advice and guidance. You are a wise soul.I am going to screen shot your comment it is uplifting and something I want to reread many times. x
Mental breakdown? You wouldn't be typing if you had!I understand you perfectly well. And consider this instead of only thinking about yourself and own selfish outcome in every comment - that just maybe I know what mental breakdown is and what it does, and that just maybe l too am super sensitive "just like many others here" fyi!
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