Asperger Syndrome

[spaceman125]

How do I get rid of anxiety and depression? My mom and girlfriend can see it and they think I should get help. I worry all the time and have Asperger's Syndrome.

[pink83737]

With therapy and medication. Thats what cured mine.

[spaceman125 in reply to pink83737]

Is there an Asperger's group that I can join. Kinda afraid of medications. I tried anti-depressants one time after my father died and it made my heart skip beats.

[pink83737 in reply to spaceman125]

Yes there is a group if you search Aspergers in the search for health unlocked if you go to your home page then search from there. Im sorry about your loss..Anti depressants take some time to work you have to be patient for them but that is scary I know the feeling. Hang in there.

[spaceman125 in reply to pink83737]

Do you know of any groups that meet in person. I really don't have any friends. The only time I get out among people is when I sing in the church choir and that is getting old. In fact, the things that I used to enjoy I don't enjoy anymore. I used to have confidence and friends. I could do anything back then and wasn't afraid. Now I'm afraid of everything. I'm afraid of failure and loss. People seem to be dying all around me. I don't want to go to anymore funerals. They are too sad.

[pink83737 in reply to spaceman125]

Aw, Im so sorry. Funerals are very sad and it makes my heart hurt seeing people go. I am not sure of any groups that mean in person maybe try a youth group or bible study, OR EVEN YOGA! Yoga would be a great idea to make friends or even group therapy.

[spaceman125 in reply to pink83737]

What is group therapy? I have trouble making friends. Not that I'm mean or anything. The ones I have are very kind and sincere. I really have to force myself to even look someone straight in the eyes. Asperger's is a social disorder. It is very uncomfortable you see. I guess I should get out of my comfort zone huh? Anyway, I just signed up for this site today. Thanks for the kind replys. I thought I would give this a try.

[pink83737 in reply to spaceman125]

I have never done group therapy but its like therapy but everyone says there problems and you can make friends there. I don'tknow much about aspergers but i do have social anxiety. Im glad you signed up this site has helped me get through a lot

[spaceman125 in reply to pink83737]

I see that. I was reading some of your posts. Maybe it will help me. It feels good to type your feelings out to someone you don't even know. I tried to talk to my family and since they know me well, they just say things like "get over it" or "it will pass" . Whatever. I love my mom and sister but they just don't understand. Maybe they don't know me well. What is social anxiety? Do you get nervous when you are in a crowd?

[pink83737 in reply to spaceman125]

yes it feels like everyone is judging me and my face gets super red in social situations..

[spaceman125 in reply to pink83737]

Why? I've found that nobody really cares about anybody except themselves. Everyone is so selfish that they don't have the time or interest to judge anybody. So, I wouldn't worry about that. I know it's hard not to worry. I worry all the time. Maybe I should take my own advice.

[Serenidad in reply to spaceman125]

I have asperger too and it’s not as easy as “get over it” and “it will pass.” I would love to chat with you.

[rillo1472]

It's really hard to get rid of anxiety it's kind of part and parcel of having Asperger's and any form of ASD it's kind of like you have to learn to live with it and accept there are lots of things and situations you will always struggle with like large social gatherings and going to new places or meeting unfamiliar people. My daughter has Asperger's and severe anxiety all the time it prevents her getting out and limits her life which makes her depressed. Anti depressants didn't help as her depression is reactive based on her Asperger's and having anxiety neither of which is curable. You just learn to live with the anxiety as much as you can and don't beat yourself up for the things you don't manage to do when it's severe and praise yourself for the times you manage to overcome it. Asperger's is hereditary in my family so that has kind of helped me having a father,brother, daughter and nephews that all have it brings greater understanding and support. Hang in there you have supportive people they just need to understand that it is something you won't be able to get rid of but can work around by limiting the situations that bring it on and giving time to process and get used to the new things you cannot avoid.

[rillo1472]

Also CBT can help some but not all people with Asperger's it's worth trying though but long waiting lists for therapy.

[Aspergirl47]

Hey spaceman125....I have just seen your post....I was diagnosed with Aspergers only 3 years ago...I am also suffering terrible anxiety and panic attacks...these came on after a loss too...Can I ask where you come from? I'm in the UK and there are groups here...I have never been as I also have social anxiety...I'm guessing I'm a lot older than you but I also have a son with Aspergers....he also has no friends he socialises with....so I completely get you and how afraid you feel ...I'm afraid of everything just now....its an awful feeling....I'm here anytime....

[spaceman125 in reply to Aspergirl47]

Hey Aspergirl47 wow that sound alot of what I'm going through. I live in Tulsa Oklahoma in the United States. I'm 48 years old. Thanks for being there.

[gogogirl in reply to spaceman125]

Well, I assumed you were a teenager or someone in the twenties. At least you are A LOT younger than me!

[spaceman125 in reply to gogogirl]

Yes I'm 48 and I'm not in school. It seems at this age, my anxiety and worry is alot worse. When I was in grade school, I used to cry alot. I didn't want to be at school and I didn't like change. I was afraid of substitute teachers and was pulled out of class and put into another class because I just couldn't handle it. Back then, everybody just said I was sensitive.

[gogogirl in reply to spaceman125]

Just curious- and you do not have to answer: Were you diagnosed as a kid and what are some of the symptoms in adulthood?

[spaceman125 in reply to gogogirl]

No. I was diagnosed in July of 2016 with Asperger's. I was never diagnosed as a kid because people just thought I was sensitive and that I was just being "me" and that I would grow out of it. As an adult just lots of anxiety and withdrawn and lots of loneliness.

[gogogirl in reply to spaceman125]

Do you know what kinds of tests were given and what type of person you saw? I wish you well! I understand that being on the spectrum is neurological so people have to make adjustments to it- one does not just get over it, right? I have read about Temple Grandin who is a well known academic who just happens to have asbergers. Wow- very powerful!

[Aspergirl47 in reply to spaceman125]

Wow...I don't know why but I took it you would be a lot younger...I'm also 48 I'm from Scotland....Pity we don't live near one another...we could have tried to organize a local group for adults on the spectrum I really understand when u were saying about fearing loss ...when I was young I never even thought about it...but I'm so different now...even perceived loss...I take panic attacks...Do u have a special interest that really absorbs your mind? I was told to keep up any intense interest as it lowers the anxiety....I also have Ocd too...that can be awful under stress.....I'm here anytime...

[spaceman125 in reply to Aspergirl47]

About your OCD? I might have that too. I lock the door many times before I leave the house. I then drive around the block and return and check my door again because I am not convinced I locked it the first time. Do you do things like that?

[Aspergirl47 in reply to spaceman125]

Hey...I always check the back door is locked then I can walk into another room but my mind will tell me to go check again that the door is really locked and I,ll have to go back...you do sound like you have ocd...maybe worth getting it checked out....I also have to have jars in my kitchen lined up straight....it zaps your energy a lot...really time consuming.....

[spaceman125 in reply to spaceman125]

How are you the weather here in Tulsa was great.

[spaceman125 in reply to Aspergirl47]

My special interest is music. I love to play bass and I also sing. It used to be my "safety blanket." In other words, when I felt bad and I had anxiety, I could just absorb myself in that. Now, for some reason, that's going away. I don't enjoy it like I once did. I can't run to it like I was once able to do.

[Aspergirl47 in reply to spaceman125]

I understand....I lost all interest in my special interest as well....not sure if that's a sign of depression for us or not....if I have panic attacks I can think of nothing else and I lose all interest...and yet I was told it was essential for us to continue with it but its really difficult when you feel so bad...I love music too...it was always playing the keyboard ...singing is a great one...I would love to be able to lol ...Do you still sing in the choir? Maybe try and stick with it.....I am pretty socially isolated and I don't think that helps...theres a meet up group here that meets every month for females on the spectrum but my anxiety is so high I cant travel the thirty minutes to get there....

[spaceman125 in reply to Aspergirl47]

How are you? It was a better day for me. The weather here in Tulsa was great.

[Aspergirl47 in reply to spaceman125]

Hey...Were having some really great weather too.. Feeling bad today...woke up with severe anxiety this morning...tried everything to distract myself.....I seem to be really anxious about being alone at home when my son goes out.....like a separation anxiety....maybe its the isolation....Have u ever experienced that? If u live alone ? Its feels awful....Good to hear u were better....Did you try and distract yourself with some interests?

[spaceman125 in reply to Aspergirl47]

No. I think the nice weather helped. I went to the doctor and he prescribed some anti-depressants. Yes I live alone. I get anxious when there is no one around too. I can't get rid of that feeling.

[Aspergirl47 in reply to spaceman125]

Hey...I went out to the local park yesterday...I agree the weather helps to make us feel better....I can only travel a certain distance from home just now due to the anxiety ...but I guess I done well...a year ago I couldn't leave the house ...Good u seen the Dr...I hope the meds help for some reason certain anti-depressants make me sleep all the time or go the other way and I get agitated ...never seems to be a balance....I had my own flat and I thought It would help me feel better as it can be stressful for both me and my son together..but I seemed to get worse...I think it was having too much time to think and I ended up moving back in with my son...lol Do u have any family nearby that u can visit when u feel that way? Apologies if I'm overloading u with questions

[spaceman125 in reply to Aspergirl47]

No. That's OK. I have a mom and sister that live close by. I see them almost every night. Do you have symptoms like pressure in your head. I've been experiencing that lately and my eyes just want to close.

[Aspergirl47 in reply to spaceman125]

That's great u have family around...I did have pressure in my head for a while then it went away but then I started having migraines that would last days...horrible....found out I was having reactions to what I was eating and drinking...Do u take caffeine? that can give u a lot of problems like shaking heart racing sore head etc....

[spaceman125 in reply to Aspergirl47]

How are you? The weather here in Tulsa was great today.

[Imakook]

Hey, Spaceman125!

I LOVE what you said! I've learned that "what others think of me is none of my business. We are all entitled to our own opinions", but when you say (I'm putting it in my own words), "Nobody gives a rats ass about you; they're too self-involved"..…well, it's incredibly simple! I couldn't agree more, with the exception of support groups like this & hopefully family.

I have been to group therapy and I found that you might meet some interesting people and maybe even make great friends.

As far as worrying alot, just try to stay in today, as hard as that may be, because, "Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday!"

Or -

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrows; it only saps today of its joys."

Or -

"If you treat every situation as a life & death matter, you'll die lots of times."

So, hang in there, Spaceman! I hope you find peace. What helps me a lot is writing a gratitude list of the positive things to life.

[spaceman125 in reply to Imakook]

Imakook, Thank you for that. I'm going to print those words and keep them with me. That helped alot. Thank You

[gogogirl]

Sounds like you are a very courageous person! See if there is an asbergers support group in your area maybe? Also, everyone is different. It depends on whatever is happening in someone's life at the time. If you are still in school perhaps ask the school adjustment counselor. Also, sorry for your loss especially at a young age.