Any advice welcomed

[Trina81]

Am I lazy? I feel like I am not lazy, that I try. Yet, my fiancee puts me down and calls me lazy. I suffer from anxiety and depression and usually struggle daily. We are living with his mother and we have 2 daughters, 12 and 7. I dont know what to do. Do i go back to the doctor and start trying different meds, try to push myself to be "not lazy," or walk away from a 12 year relationship because he wont support me?

[Hidden]

Thank you for sharing. Can you do both? Help yourself and leave him? Hope this helps. Thanks.

[Trina81 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for answering! Yes I am making a plan to leave. I am so sick of being called lazy and entitled. Also, since I first posted I have been told he doesnt need me and I can leave and also that he is tired of paying the price of being with me. I feel due to circumstances my depression is worse now than pretty much ever. I have been a stay at home mom, for the most part, over the last 12 years. In order to leave, I am going to have to try and get family to let me stay with them and pretty much start over. The hardest part of this is that my daughters are, well, spoiled. The lifestyles they have now will be totally different from what on my own, I cannot give.

[Hidden in reply to Trina81]

I would just recommend to take baby steps. That's really all I have.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh and to reassess your situation and how it's working for you regularly. To make sure you are going in the proper direction to help not make things worse. That may sound obvious but I didn't know that until recently. Like a checkup.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Trina81, I have been thinking about my answer and perhaps you could also work on yourself and possibly give your partner another chance. That may also be an option. Whatever is best for you and yours.

Thanks

[froggymom88]

I think you definitely need to discuss the situation with your doctor. Unless a person has struggled with depression themselves it is hard for them to understand how difficult it is to live with depression. There is ,however, no excuse for your fiancee to call you names . It may be difficult to move on but you can do it. Maybe sit the down with the girls and explain the situation in an appropriate way for their ages and explain some of the things they will need to do to help. I will be praying for you.

[SunRhyze]

Hi Trina81. Your post reminds me a bit of myself and my situation. My SO oftentimes blames me for things that I feel are completely untrue. As a matter of fact, he goes so far as to blame Me for the things He does wrong. I've read a lot about gaslighting and wholeheartedly believe my SO regularly uses this tactic with me. I am not sure if it is intentional or if he truly believes himself when he's doing it. (He has Tourette's and often finds himself triggered to the state of rage but does NOT have to be triggered to invoke gaslighting.) I, unfortunately, don't have any advice, but I wanted to reach out and say that I "get" it. I understand how you feel. And, if you are introspective and really look at yourself and are honest with what you see, then that is likely your truth. Here's a link to an article about gaslighting: psychologytoday.com/us/blog...