I don’t know much quite yet

[Lilly-brooks16]

I’m debating if I should let anyone know what’s going on at first I get everything , everything that I screwed up or lost and it hurt so bad now it’s just like a faze that I can’t seem to have emotion to I’m glad that I don’t have to feel the pain but I get worried cause I don’t know what to speak to anyone anymore or how I should feel I can laugh but it feels so forced and I sit in my room just looking at the ceiling trying to think of why I’m like this and I just can’t bring myself to put myself back in the state where I feel everything and feel like I’m worthless so I just got use to feeling of being nothing but now I’m stuck and can’t seem to feel and love for anyone and feel like I’m falling deeper And I just feel numb I’m keeping thinking of things to smile about but it gets limited

[Amh625]

Hi . I’m Amy . I just joined this tonight . Your post is the first I read . I understand completely what you are saying. Ihave been feeling the same for months,this whole year in fact. I have some stuff going on . But nothing I feel should push me this deep. I have people who love me and I love them . But the actual emotions were just not there . I faked my way threw. This week all has changed. But cry, I get mad , Just every emotion all mixed up and the anxiety it pure torture. But it’s ok . This is my step back to be able to feel love again then I’m ok with all the crazy bad emotions. I feel like I’m on my road back . I wish I could give you a tip on how to start to feel again. For me it just happened one day. It maybe mostly deep hurtful cry’s right now . But I know it’s the way back . I have been here before . I hope you find your emotions soon too . Get back to you 😊

[Hidden in reply to Amh625]

Hi🙋‍♀️ and welcome! See my reply to Lilly-brooks!

[texasbonnet in reply to Amh625]

Your emotions are there with you, but right now if seems you are unable to let yourself feel them. You will reach a point that you want to let them come forward. I used to fear getting angry. Really feared it. During therapy I was being encouraged to express my anger. When I let out some of it, I blanked out for just a second. When I realized I was able to get angry, I felt fantastic because my anger did not kill me and no one shamed me. Anger is there to protect our wounded "inner child." It tells us we have been hurt by someone.

I hope you find this is a safe place to express yourself. I hope you have a good day. I know I am because a bit of winter has arrived in hot, humid southern Texas. Thank goodness.

[Hidden]

Hi🙋‍♀️ and welcome! What and how much you share is completely up to you. You don't even need to share anything if you don't want! You can just scroll through posts and get support that way! That is the beauty of this; it is up to you. We are a very supportive group made up of people all over the world. I hope you get the support you need.

Welcome!!

P.S. you are not worthless!!

[livingauthentically]

Hi lilly,

If you don’t have an individual therapist, I would recommend looking for one and/or continue the search for one if the current isn’t working. Virtual support groups on meetup . com are helpful. And if you see a psychiatrist (which I also recommend) they might even diagnose you with something else which could really assist you in navigating the techniques and skills for positive coping mechanisms that enable you to change your perspective and adjust your routine for nutrition (vitamins & meds included), sleep, exercise, and social support. There are a lot of great podcasts too and mindfulness apps like insight timer that have free talks on them and guided meditations that are easy to follow and so many can resonate with you. ACT and DBT are also 2 forms of group therapy that have extended resources that really help with identifying your inner values, passions, mind hacks, have effective communication and relationships, identify triggers (which is what causes the numbness / dissociation / distractability that you are experiencing), work through the trauma that created them, and a lot more. I’ve been in a total funk lately too. I’m speaking from a educational standpoint but I find myself in the same circumstances easily. My neurodiverse brain and trauma brain are conditioned to the same habits and it feels IMPOSSIBLE to do the smallest things like getting up to go to the bathroom when I’m watching a tv show, taking a shower even though I never leave the home without one- I went 4 days this week which is insane but there is a pandemic and we are all very limited. Low self-motivation, self-esteem, and increased anxiety contributed to this. I found that when I pushed myself to get groceries and rode my bike finally- it made a big difference! I felt more hopeful and energized bc of the good chemicals it causes your brain to feel~ Accomplishment of small tasks and recognizing them as that! (Literally getting out of bed is a WIN!) and something physically stimulating like exercise, a cold shower, a walk, dancing to music, little things can really impact your energy and make you feel present and less focused on what you “should” feel or once felt.. because you are NOT your thoughts or feelings! And all emotions are temporary. Don’t forget that. I feel that life is about being both lost and finding yourself repeatedly throughout. Each adversity and struggle giving you the opportunity to learn from it and grow along our imperfect path. You have already become aware of your feelings, that they are different, and even went all the way to find this forum to post on. That means you are doing the work. That is an accomplishment. Numbness will come and go, just keep seeking social support, tending to your needs, and having self-compassion. You are a beautiful human and worthy of everything you want and need in this world. Our path is not as easy as it may seem for others and it can feel so isolating, but know you are not, and there are many people and resources to show you that. Sending positive wishes to you

[Carrieroflight]

Hi Lilly, I read your post and wanted to reach out to you. I wish I could message you directly, but this site won't let me do so. I have been in a situation that sounds similar to yours, and I know how painful that can be to feel so shut down and cut off from the rest of the world. I want you to know that it is possible to get rid of anxiety and depression. When people would tell me this, I took it with a grain of sand. But I am telling you with a full heart, being living proof, that it IS possible. I set my mind (intention) on getting better, and worked on myself every day. Before I knew it, my anxiety, depression and other mental health issues started to disappear until they eventually left for good. I have conquered these things in myself and my entire purpose in life is to help others do the same. I want to help others as I have been helped. A lot of what I learned I read from a beautiful, amazing book I read a few years ago. I have shared a copy of it in a couple different chats, so you may have seen it. It taught me everything I needed to know about myself and how to conquer these things within me. I know how much this book helped me, and I want to share it as much as I can so that others can be helped just as much. I can post it on here (it is an electronic copy) if you would like to read it. Lilly, again, an exciting, love-filled life for you is out there. It exists. As someone who has conquered these things, I tell you truthfully, a life without mental illness is possible. You can get through this. You can rise above. If you would like a copy of the book, please let me know and I can post the link. With much love!

[Hidden]

Dude

Shit happens

Part of being young and lesrning as decadent born with a roadmap

I.lost patients in practice

Was given v badcadvise

Still.on.mym record and people think.manynthings