Confused, Don't wana live but don't w... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Confused, Don't wana live but don't wana giveup

I just don't know why Iam alive... I know i should not quit but thats not the reason, I don't even have guts to take my life... I don't know why Iam typing this message... I just want to suffer more and hard for all the people that I hurt... I want to live and suffer but not die...

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vivekram

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15 Replies

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Hb20034 years ago

You are alive for a reason you have a purpose in this life please dont ever feel that way . Don’t ask for more suffering please your a amazing person your life is a wonderful thing and you should cherish it I’m sending lots of kindness and good vibes to you ✌🏻😊

4 years ago

Only you control your life and choices- make this worthwhile - value it and life - you can make it and do it - the struggle is worth it

Agora14 years ago

vivekram, you typed this message because you wanted to reach out for support.

You want people to validate your life and why you should never give up.

Don't use life as a penance for those you may have hurt in the past. Your suffering

and hardship does not wipe out how you feel. Forgive yourself for things you've done

in the past. No one is perfect. It is better to make peace with those you hurt than to

take on the suffering. It's not about having guts to take your own life but rather

about choices that we all have. xx

vivekram4 years ago

Thank you guys for support... Iam was not gana kill myself... Reason for my depression is my ego... And it is built up over so many years now I don't know how to kill my ego... I just want peace... Like I said confused... Maybe it's just time and this may pass...

Hb20034 years ago

Hopefully it will pass if you need anything we are here for you ✌🏻😊

Sweettina4 years ago

I read your post,and it was like someone looked into my brain.There are so many days that I wish I could give my health to someone who is dying of COVID. I cry so much of the day away because I truly don't understand why I am still alive. Maybe there is a reason that both of us continue to live.

Maybe what Lily40 said is true. Maybe we both have a purpose in this life.

Sweettina

4 years ago

You just made me feel like I am Not Crazy.

Chris

😱

AndrewT4 years ago

Dear vivekram,

Yes you ARE 'Confused.... but, let me- at least try- to make some 'Sense' of it all.

You ARE Alive, I wouldn't be typing this, if you were not.

You have, by virtue of writing on this 'Forum' asked for 'Help'. Which means, in all probability, that you Don't actually Want to Die.

I don't know anything about your life but, I'm guessing there have been some Trumas- along the way.

Speaking from my own, very hurtful past, you can't 'Change' what is Done- no matter how 'Hard' you may want to. So, rather like me, you 'Simply' have to Move On, My Friend. In other words 'You Are Stuck With It' and you can't change that. So yes, by all means, Cry about it, Rage about it, Swear about it, Shout- as loud as you can- about it... but ultimately just 'Accept' it... it's DONE. This IS your life NOW vivekram, NOT what was in the Past... the Here and Now.

Normally I'd suggest 'Joining' a Local Club, but that is rather Difficult, at present- unless, of course, it is an 'On Line' Forum.... like ours! Now there IS an Idea vivekram. There are a 'Good Number' of Affiliated Sites, to choose from.

We Don't Bite, we won't 'Judge' you, we don't 'Lecture' you (give over Andrew, you just spent SIX Paragraphs doing that!). We are a 'Friendly' Bunch, from All Over Health Unlocked- I'm a Vasculitis Patient myself and had a Kidney Transplant- in July 2013.

Perhaps you could, or would, consider letting us know a 'bit' more about yourself. Maybe 'what' sort of Injury you received and, perhaps 'When'. Are you Married, Children, own Home?

It's, quite, OK if you don't want to Divulge 'anything' but, under those circumstances, our 'Help' would be neccesarily limited. You can, if you prefere Private Message me, or indeed Any of us. I know that we ALL look forward to hearing, from you, vivekram.

Kindest Wishes

AndrewT

FearIsALiar4 years ago

You’re not alone. I feel this way too. You find light at the end of the tunnel keep fighting. You deserve to be happy

pandaeyes14 years ago

I’m sorry you feel this way. But I completely resonate with this. It’s such an awful, conflicting feeling.

4 years ago

Just don't give up. And helplessness is not hopelessness.

Shnookie4 years ago

hi vivekram. I'm Shnookie. I'm so sorry that U R going thru so much pain. In Judaism, we say to save one life is to save the world. We are all going thru a very challenging time in this pandemic. Give yourself permission to work thru this pain. Don't look back on what transpired in the past. Trust me my beloved granny was a holocaust survivor who suffered from survivor's guilt. Tho she worked like an animal and loved her family dearly part of her soul had been taken away. Every one here wants U to heal. Do you go to a therapist and if so R U on meds? If you live in the U.S. there is a hotline called NAMI. They have peer support specialists and R very good at listening to what is going on with your life. I call them from time to time. There is also SAMSA (800) 662-4357 who has mental health resources.

I'm in your corner. hugs Shnookie

Stu8884 years ago

Hi Vivekram, You have made a great choice making this post and it shows you are a good thoughtful caring person. We all hurt people in our lives but we also have huge potential to help others too. Remember low points won’t last and we need good caring people like you to make the world a more balanced place. Take care Stuart

QuiltLady4 years ago

Just remember that this "funk" will pass and things will get better. It might take some time but try to focus on the positive, find something to do like try a new art project. Get out and walk or get some exercise, and try to find someone to help. It might make you feel better if you can get your mind off of you and your problems, at least it help me. I too feel this way sometimes, and it's not fun. Remember that God loves you and other people do too.

isin139554 years ago

I know and recognise a lot of what you say. I also don’t have the guts to take my own life however, being over 65, I won’t be rushing to my doctor if I discover any mysterious lumps.

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