To be honest, I was nervous about starting this group. I suppose the fear of being judge and ridicule, or uncomfortable about "whining about my problems" was making it difficult for me to type this. I think hiding behind this computer helps me talk about myself versus talking in front of a group of people. Hopefully, in due time I will have the courage to participate in one in the future.
I'm in a pudding of anxiety, to the point that it interferes with my daily life. Thankfully, my job requires me to work from home and that made things "safer" for me. However, I find myself wishing that I can overcome those fears and live my life to the fullest.
A little story about my past, I have PCOS and dealing with it since I was a young girl. During that time as you may have already realized, I dealt with bullies and it made me very insecure(starting not liking how I look and hating myself). Use to be angry with everyone. Always wondered "WHY ME" "WHY CAN'T I BE BEAUTIFUL LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS?" I felt so self-conscious about my facial hair and body size-type that I deeply hated myself and how I look. As the years past on, my stress levels increase and anxiety played a major factor. Talking to other people is a win-loss situation for me. I had a few people that understood what I'm feeling but most made me feel like I was "whining" and need to get "over" it. After a while, I started dealing with my issues by myself because I didn't want to "burden" others with my "whining". That brought on bad habits like smoking. Living in constant fear of being judge and talked about that I prefer staying home(in my comfort zone).
I reached my lowest point and contemplate suicide. At that point, I knew I need to change things around. Starting a daily routine to help with building my self-esteem and it's going well so far. However, things are always better when you have someone that you can vent and talk to. So I'm really stepping outside my comfort zone and look forwards to this new journey. Any tips on how to reduce stress and ways to boost my self-esteem??
**side note. Sorry for the essay. Just excited! I look forward to not only helping myself but people like me as well!
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obetheavmb
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It’s great your on here there are very kind caring gr8 ppl on here!!💞💞🌻sorry to hear you’ve also been around very un- compassionate ppl out there I have as well and totally get that!!💞💞you are not whining at all just reaching out for what you need as a human we need to feel healthy and happy and connected!!
We are all soo unique it’s not 1 sz fits all with emotions and what we need!! I’ve found it hard trying to learn this🤣some like me are soo much more sensitive and emotional I’m empathetic and I almost feel like I’m too much to the point it’s harmful!! Some are more insensitive colder I guess or. Hardened almost??
Yeah I've been that "I wear my heart on my sleeve" Most time that's a good thing but a few times I wish I can just bottle up these emotions and ignore the negative comments from others/thoughts from myself.
Yes I understand -some things don’t bother me like it maybe used , others not at all and still others depending on how I’m feelin or who it is I think!
Hi, welcome to the site. Like you I was nervous at first and totally hiding behind the computer... but I have found support and compassion here and hope you do too. Great that you have started taking those first steps. Nice to meet a new member!
Oh okay, I just realize that your username is verse from Philippians in the bible not your name. Please ignore that Phil part. I have a habit of not paying attention to stuff and just going along with it. lol I'm sorry.
Welcome to the group. There are a lot of supportive folks on this site. And don't think of your venting as whining. We all have mental health issues. That's why we're here.
Welcome to the community! I'm glad you decided to join even though you were nervous at first, that's awesome. I've never been judged or ridiculed on here, I've only felt supported and a lot less alone seeing that others have similar experiences to mine.
Reading your story reminded me of myself in high school. I grew very self conscious of my looks compared to other girls and it resulted in an eating disorder that lasted for over 10 years. I'm mostly recovered from the anorexia but I've been diagnosed with OCD, which I think I've always had and was one of the underlying causes of the anorexia. I couldn't control my body hair (dark hair and very light skinned, not a good combo), my acne, and I wasn't any good at doing makeup or hairstyles. So if I couldn't control that stuff the one thing I could control was my weight.
I'm working on my self esteem too. I do see a therapist so that helps. One of the things she suggested is to make a list everyday of 3 things you're grateful for. Another boost for my self esteem is when I do something productive that I enjoy, like baking something for my family or, currently, I'm learning Japanese. No these don't solve the problem of me not liking how I look, but it makes me feel more beautiful inside (hopefully that doesn't sound too cheesy😊).
Anyway, it looks like my response turned into an essay too. Feel free to reach out anytime and vent all you want on here, better to get it out than hold it in.
Oh dear. First take a salute for sharing this story. It's really bad that people consider some standards being beautiful and some others not. You are beautiful, the way you are. But, I understand, how difficult it is for a child. You are beautiful to have passed through all that with courage.
For building self-esteem and reducing stress:
1. Accept who you are, complete with all your flaws. It's okay to be little awkward. We all are a little crazy!
2. Focus outside of yourself when you are with others.
3. When you feel you should approach someone or not, approach them.
4. Talk to strangers sometimes.
5. Accept that you can't stop people from judging you. And, why shall that matter to you. You are trying to do your best and that is enough.
5. Change your mindset and be okay with even being the worst performer in room. You have the most margin to learn.
For reducing stress, you should also take care of your lifestyle. Be with nature. Exercise. Meditate. Take proper sleep. Eat well. Volunteer. Live a healthy life.
Yes, this helps a lot! I really appreciate it. I'm definitely writing this down, so I can look at this daily! Thank you so much for the words of encouragement! 😊
WELCOME!!!! I'm so glad you are with us. I've been a member for a few months and can assure you that you are on safe ground and are being heard by gentle, caring, non-judgmental people. We reach out to one another, listen intently so that we can offer a kind word...maybe even a reasonable suggestion.
Thank you so much Sophie! I'm glad I joined. I look forward to getting to know you as well.
You're being too hard on yourself. Lots of young girls have facial hair...I remember discussing it at school with my mates as well as spots...I never had spots. I was actually complemented a lot on my looks at school even by the teachers. The trouble comes if you try to get rid of it the wrong way. Honestly I'm sure others will tell you that you're not whining! You can pm me as I'm looking to email and text, possibly chat to people on here. Good luck x
Thank you so much! I'm still trying to accept that fact that I have facial hair. Yeah it got worse when I started shaving. WORSE DECISION that I made and reaping for it 10 years later. Still trying to figure out best way to keep it from growing so thick because the cream I purchase don't work that great as well. Any advice is welcome! Look forward to speaking with you! 😊
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Story time...
New Member... Lost and Lonely
New here - asking for advice
New here, and desperate
New Here --- Hello. :)
