Going to therapy: So i started therapy... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Going to therapy


So i started therapy and medicine a few weeks ago, I've been to therapy 3 times and I like my therapist but I feel like it's so quick that it doesn't help. I know things won't change instantly but I would like to feel a little better. I've been feeling just as bad a usual and it just doesn't give me any hope.

44 Replies

How long are the sessions typically? Switching therapists might make a difference instead. Find out if there are any other qualified therapists locally and ring a few offices to get a idea of what to expect etc as well as a list of prices for appointment slots too.

Llama00 in reply to thara9643

I like my therapist it's just the session s are only 45 mins. It feels really quick.

thara9643 in reply to Llama00

Maybe see if you can do a hour instead?

Llama00 in reply to thara9643

I can try asking next time but I don't think its possible. I mentioned it today that it felt quick but she didn't mention extending it.

Hang in there. I know how you feel. I started meds a week and a half ago and see a therapist next Friday for first time. I'm being positive about it and I think you should too. We're all here for each other and together we can all be strong. Please don't give up hope yet.

I don't really have any hope in me. I just can't kill myself even though I want to.

Do you have any support thru family or friends? It's not good to be alone in situations like this.

Yes but mainly no. My mom tries now somewhat but that's after years of calling me a liar and not believing me, so I don't want to ever speak to her. I have a few friends online but that's it.

Parents always say things they don't mean. You're her child and she loves you no matter what. You need to give her a chance at redemption.

Nah, it was 3 or 4 times it's been done. Why should I give her a chance. My family never made things easier for me. I hated school, I hated home, and I hated life no one made that easier.

Talk to your shrink. Celexa and zyprexa are amazing. Take RX's as prescribed

I take bupropion XL 150mg and hydroxyzine hcl 25mg. I started a week an a half ago but I don't notice anything.

Talk to the Doc next appt. See what he says

Maybe take some time before and after your sessions to write down things you want to talk about, and things you did not get a chance to talk about. That might help to make 45 minutes seem longer.

I know things I want to talk about but I feel I don't get a chance to get to them because of how quick it is.

Agora1 in reply to Llama00

Hi Llama00, "trs179" is correct in that writing down a short itinerary of the main topics

you need to address can give you some satisfaction in the 45 min session.

I will tell you that I know how fast 45 min can go by when your mind is racing and filled

with so many issues. One session at a time. If they did longer sessions, you would get

burned out mentally.

You might also want to take some notes on what the therapist is saying so that when you're

home you can think about what she told you.

Therapy takes time, after all, these problems didn't happen overnight. You're basically going

over a lifetime of issues that led up to this point in your life. Please make sure to be up front

with the therapist in what you told us here. And if ever you feel so overwhelmed or a threat

to yourself, please reach out for help and don't wait until the next appointment. Stay Positive, this will all come together one day. :) xx

Llama00 in reply to Agora1

Thank you all for the advice but I don't believe my life will get better.

Hi Llama. That right there -- that mindset-- is what is holding you back. Your mind is sabotaging you (this is not a criticism since it happens to all of us). You need to believe that things will improve. Much easier said than done I know, but you need to try.

Not everyone has a happy life. I know it can happen but I don't believe it will.

I'm not saying everyone has a happy life. I'm saying that you need to try believing that things will get better. I get it; I used to sabotage myself as well. I got scared once therapy started working for me. I got scared because it was "the unknown". All the emotions that I had pushed down over the years were coming to the surface and I didn't know how to deal with them. It was scary. I wanted to turn back time and revert back to my depressed self. Why? Because being depressed was a heck of a lot more comfortable than this "new me" (the one with suppressed emotions coming out my pores).

One of my psychiatrists likened talk therapy to a bandaid being peeled off to reveal the wound underneath. It might look sore and infected for awhile, but it will eventually heal.

How am I sabotaging myself?

By not believing that your life will get any better.

I'm just going off my past. Why have false hope.

I think our default is to go off past experiences; it's just how our minds work. It's what is easiest for us to do. It takes work to change the cycle, but I believe that it can be done.

I need to go to sleep now. Take care of yourself.😊

Agora1 in reply to Llama00

Llama, we may not be doctors or therapists but our own experiences can help

us identify in what you are going through. I had years of therapy where I felt as

you did in that I wasn't getting anywhere. I would walk out of the session in the

same condition that I walked in.

But I never gave up. I wasn't finding the answers I was looking for because I

was expecting a miracle fix. I was determined to see this through because I

always believed that I would and I could get better.

Many years later, while sitting quietly at home, I had what I called my "aha" moment.

All of the sudden, everything that was told me in session came to light. The problem

was I wasn't listening to the advice because I was so absorbed in what I had to say and get off my chest. So basically, we were just exchanging words but not actions.

It wasn't until I started going forward and trying the things I learned that I started

to heal. And today, I sit back and reach out to all on the forum telling them of my journey and that it can happen for you when the time is right. Never give up Llama

There is an amazing feeling of control waiting for you. I wish you well :) xx

ludaditz in reply to Llama00

It's normal to feel that way. I don't blame you--have been there many times. I also don't think you owe your mother forgiveness.

Trust me when I say that as your relationship in therapy grows in intimacy, it will have tremendous power to heal. That and meds. Of course you have no hope now, though and that's totally ok.

Definitely have a list of issues to discuss.

Llama00 in reply to thara9643

I feel I can barely get 1 topic let alone a list.


Stick with it it can help x

It’s definitely going to take time. Kinda like medication. It’s not a one size fits all. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist and counselor for over 30 years. The ones I have benefitted the most out of I’ve seen now for over 13 years I’d say. It was a gift from God cuz they both work in same company. I’ve shopped for them for soo long and absolutely love who I have. It’s going to take time to fully trust them and they help you work through your problems. You’ll have a long road ahead but one worth riding if you feel good about it and that they have your best interest at heart. I’ve had a roller coaster ride for majority part of my years taking medicine but my regimen works pretty good. Needs some tweaking sometimes though hang in there.

No offense, but I don't feel like most of the comments addressed the question, she just said that it wasn't long enough. Suggestions: see if you can get also into some group therapy sessions, see if you can see an additional therapist (coverage pending) so you don't have to go so long between sessions, i think someone sent a link to perhaps some online therapy, support groups such as these (write EVERYTHING!), Facebook groups, journal, etc. Just anywhere and everywhere you feel like you would like to be heard. A lot of times we just want to talk and express ourselves without judgment. So choose an outlet (s) where you feel comfortable. 😉

Definitely repeat all that to your therapist. If they care at all, they’ll adjust their method to help you. We’re all different and we heal in our own way so it’s a matter of saying what you need. If your therapist won’t accommodate your needs, find someone who will. I’ve been seeing a therapist for a couple years myself, and I can tell you that it gets a little worse before it starts getting better. The healing process involves digging up all that pain and trauma in order to better deal with it, but give it a little time and you’ll start to see a light at the end of that tunnel. Healing isn’t a straight line, it goes all over the place but at least we’re trying. No one knows what you deal with individually, so don’t take it personally when you’re told to just think positively or get over it; they don’t know how hard it truly is. You’ll get there one day, but for now it’s ok to not be ok.

I once went to counseling and the sessions were 45 minutes but the counselor was always at least 5-10 minutes late spent another 10 minutes looking for handouts, candy or speaking with someone in the hallway and ended our session usually 5 minutes early. So at most and on good days I got 30 minutes max. And that was once a week, and I truly wanted the help as I was extremely depressed. I lasted only a few months. Id recommend asking for more time if I were you, at least an hour.

Llama00 in reply to Tregan71

I'll see if it's an option. I was only once a week and I asked for 2 yesterday which was granted. I'll see how it goes.

Hi Llama. I'm 61 and have had episodic severe depression since I was 18 with great years in between each episode. When I was younger I thought that getting the correct medicine was 80% of the solution and that 20% was therapy. And though medicine ultimately made me feel like my old self again, it was, in retrospect, a bandaid, Now, I feel that those numbers are reversed. Medicine can help a lot, but true healing usually requires therapy. I find therapy to be much more difficult and a lot harder work than simply waiting for medicine to kick in. It takes time for medicine to relieve he pain and symptoms (not to minimize the importance of that), but it takes quite a bit longer for therapy to start to actually heal you, and that is worth the work and the wait. And it's a hard realization to know that a therapist can't do the work for us, but they help us to do the necessary work ourselves.

Be patient. It's a long road but you will start to feel it in time. It's tough even after 15 years of therapy. Have faith honey. We will get there

Llama00 in reply to Ruthjs89

I'm trying but I just hate having to feel this way all the time.

When you say it goes quick are you referring your appt? Or is it to far in between visits? Please give yourself a break, by 6 weeks you should be feeling much better. Be patient with yourself. Try mindfulmovement.com and pick out a meditation that you think you would like. Relax. I know its hard, I battle anxiety/depression a lot. With the way this world is, my anxiety is awful unless I keep busy. Be good to yourself.

Llama00 in reply to Jstbcuz

I was referring to the appt. It's 45 mins but it feels quick like not much happens when I'm there.

Hi Llama,I am sure that your therapist will give you more time,if you ask. Finding support groups will be a great help also. Maybe a church group. You are not alone. We have been there and in time you should feel better. I have found that talking or being with friends is very helpful.God bless and keep in touch..


Having had therapy for 25+ years it is important to know what type of therapist you are currently dealing with. I have had the best luck with a clinical psychologist who has practiced for decades & has his PhD. I can tell from my own experience some of these practitioners can be a waste of your time and money; I've left a few.

Additionally, it may be of benefit if the practitioner specializes in trauma.

Llama00 in reply to Hidden

I never really thought about if the therapist is right or not. I feel comfortable there so thats ok, I'll going more before I think more on it.


I know the feeling. I started therapy in March....and at first I felt like I was just going in there and crying and not getting anything out of it. It gets better as I also noticed I was scattered brain and wanted to just drop everything at once . Even now I feel like I jump around because of things I want to touch on. But it’s a lot better, I trusted the process and my therapist just pointed out to me that I have hope. And it wasn’t always like that.

we are here for you

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