therapy is transactional?

[AOCBurnerAccount]

I've been thinking recently that my approach to therapy is wrong. I need emotional support, but that's not necessarily something that I can expect from a therapist. Yeah, it'd be nice, but I've learned from experience that it's not something that therapists can necessarily give, since it is A LOT of emotional labor. So I've decided to look at it as a transaction more like in medicine: I tell the therapist my symptoms and they provide (hopefully useful) feedback and/or diagnosis. I kinda wish I had realized this sooner and then maybe I wouldn't have felt so disappointed with my therapy experiences.

Anyway, look at this picture of my dog. Her name is Rosie and she's the best <3

[Hominid711]

Wow, what an interesting conclusion to draw. I can certainly relate. I currently have a very warm and mutually satisfactory business relationship with my lawyer for 500/h but she is in that sense laid back enough to tolerate it as we both benefit and are stronger together. I once had a year of weekly psychotherapy and transferred my therapist into the mother role a bit. She also stayed maternal. The lawyer and I, that's more of a sisterhood. So I think having aspects of your emotional needs fulfilled is possible and absolutely ok. I guess people are ready to give more in that sense when they feel free to give it. I.e. if their boundaries are respected. They may be individually different but I guess my therapist could be maternal with me because she knew that I knew that sge was my therapist, not my mother or the mother I would have liked to have. I completely agree with you about the need to have one's emotional side seen and visited. I know what I need in that respect. More available friends, the whole age spectrum, maybe a partner. But then, I'm not the family type any more. The dog is cute. I'm thinking of getting one.

[LoveforAll41]

I think you are right AOC. No therapist could provide that support to all of their clients. Love the dog pic. I think that a good therapist validates our emotions (luckily all emotions are valid, we have been shaped and shaped ourselves to how we interpret the world), points out some thinking errors, and points us in the right direction. I wish you the best with your work and wish you peace, hope, and strength

[012703060610]

Oh my! I had a Rosie (white hair) and a Blackie (black hair) growing up that look just like she does. Pups are the best. Best kind of medicine actually! LOVE! They lived to 17 and 19 respectively.

I try to orient all of my medical professionals to the ones who are empathetic. Transactions don't work for me. I do a lot of health research and come incredibly prepared to any type of appointment. My PTSD counselor is there for me always....even via text at night or weekend. I have the same type of relationship with my Rheumatologist. All my care needs to be run past him anyway. But I do the hard work to find these people. When two doctors conflict, I will ask them to talk and they actually do this believe it or not! I simply don't believe that one doctor will make the right conclusion unless it is obvious....you have the flu type of thing. I had to change psychiatrists as mine retired. We were together for 25 years. My new guy is only transactional but did do the research on my full medical file to understand my ongoing physical health issues. This was enough for me to proceed with him even if he doesn't want to get to know me. I look for the strongest nurses that have good relationships with their doctors they support too. The medical community is stressed all over the globe. I also try to bring in treats or hand made things for their kids. I even got my GI doctor a baby onesie saying "My Daddy Kicks Butt." It was his first kid and he just posted it up in the main office in a frame! Quite adorable. Anyway, just my two cents. The right fit is everything in medicine-physical, mental and emotional. I don't say this lightly as my sister and her husband are both doctors. I would never choose them due to their bed side manner. SHHHHHH!

[Agora1]

Hi AOCBurnerAccount

There is emotional support sitting right there in that picture. Rosie can take over where

the therapist leaves off. What's better than having unconditional love by your side 24/7?.

I remember the days sitting on the steps of my front porch with my side kick next to me.

I would put my arm around her and talk to her about how I was feeling. She always

seemed to understand, more than that, she truly cared. She was my beautiful 120lb

German Shepherd. After she passed, I was on my own but she had laid the foundation

for me. To this day, I still miss her but am grateful that she was a part of my life when

I needed that emotional support. Just my thoughts xx

[CLB1125]

Rosie is a cutie 🥰