Terrified of aging

Hello all I’m turning 25 next month and lately I’ve been having the worst anxiety and depression about aging and life passing me by quickly even though I know it happens to all of us. I just want these thoughts to go away I hate crying I’ve never felt like this before it started happening a couple days ago. Please any help on how I can move on from this

[Hidden]

Hi there I spoke with my counselor about a similar fear I have. I am nearing 30 and worry constantly that I have let the best years pass me by, wasted my time, etc. The idea of aging with anxiety and never getting any better haunts me too. For me, the only thing that really helps is making myself look forward instead of backward. I want to use the time I still have and I want to do something worthwhile with it. So, try deciding on a goal, making a plan, and then taking small steps toward your goal? Try to think of something you can accomplish tomorrow, not too hard, then make a plan and take small steps forward? And once you reach that goal, give yourself another. Progress starts small.

[crisbal]

Hello, I agree with Phil. Having goals really help me a lot. Start small and just build from there. My goals are usually related to health and fitness because I notice that when I eat well and exercise I feel so much better. My anxiety is *almost* non-existent and much easier to manage.

[Hidden in reply to crisbal]

Yes exercise helps a lot!

[GymNeed]

I can't imagine going through that at such a young age. I am now going through those things now that I am having health scares at age 50. I know we are born to die but dang it's hitting me hard nowadays. At age 25, dance it out. I use to love to dance alone. Turned the music up (Blast) your favorites song and don't come out the room until you fill better.

[nic013]

i feel this. had a panic attack all day long on my 30th bday this year. honestly we live in such an ageist society and it’s really depressing how youth as our only value is thrust upon us. i would also love advice on how to handle this better

[Hidden in reply to nic013]

Age is just a number. I have to keep reminding myself that. Life is a journey, not a math problem! 😉 We can be good people at any age. We can keep learning, keep making progress. Growing older is really an opportunity, not a problem. Keep looking forward!

[nic013 in reply to Hidden]

thank you, you’re right! one reason this has been so hard is that mentally i have the utmost respect for thoughtful, older people who have life experience and knowledge to share. being a good person is indeed the most important, yet when i look at myself i cannot accept that it comes with not looking like myself anymore and not being perceived as valuable anymore. on the one hand i think how every year i learn so much, and i wouldnt go back in time even if i could, since i am such a more thoughtful person who has been through so much since then- but if i accept that then i don’t get why i can’t stop panicking about it!?

[Hidden in reply to nic013]

Recently I heard the expression “your anxiety is lying to you.” At first I didn’t understand what it means but I think I do now. Do you think our anxiety is lying to us about aging and other people’s perception of us?

[nic013 in reply to Hidden]

that’s a good point, certainly a lot of it right now is all anxiety lying to me and not real! that is good to remember. but i still feel that overall it’s undeniable that we view the elderly as expendable (our covid response in the US, or lack thereof, throws this in sharp relief) and so even though i’m sure people right now still see me the same as before, i also know that eventually (with luck!) i will get to a point of invisibility and disposability. now that i’m saying this im realizing that perhaps this should be my call to action to do more to help change that mindset in people and show the value of aging!

[Hidden in reply to nic013]

Yes we can do our part to change that attitude toward age. Not everyone is like that toward the elderly, I am happy to say, but yes you are right, with COVID especially the elderly are being neglected and left in isolation. For them having no visits to look forward to and no one to talk to is very hard.

One option I am considering is getting involved by volunteering for an organization that provides care for the elderly and invalids. I need more activities to keep myself distracted from the anxiety and negative thoughts and this might be a good way to do that.

[Hidden]

The road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began

Now far ahead the road is gone

And I must follow if I can

Pursuing it with eager feet

Until it meets some larger way

And whither then?

I cannot say.

JRR Tolkien

[Hidden]

Well, I know it really isn't funny but I just chuckle a little bit reading your post because I recently turned 50 and from serious stuff I've been through, I'm like oh boy, wait till you turn 40!!!!! Mid life crisis time is no joke!!!! I think everyone freaks out about aging in some way no matter what your age. Everyone is different too. Maybe you're comparing yourself to others a little too much. Sometimes people who seem to be doing so fabulous really aren't, they're just putting on a big fake show on Facebook and Instagram.

[Fatemah7u9]

Hey sir! I get where youre coming from because I see my parents struggle with this and Ive been doing my best to counsel them. Ill try to offer you some advice based on what I've observed. First you'll have to accept that the fear of aging is mainly rooted in the glamourization of youth through pop culture. Its not a bad thing to be getting old. Its alright if you're growing old, its a natural process that everyone has to go through. Second, focus on getting good nutrition. Eat fleshy fruits and greens and as many organic products that you can. By this I mean eggs, milk and meat. I'd also recommend that you take grape seed extract, which you can find here: vitaminexpress.org/uk/opc-v...