Terrified

[Ladychef]

I am being verbally, emotionally, sexually, and financially abused by my alcoholic husband. I do nothing but stay in my bedroom all day every day. My husband is loud and doesn't care if he wakes our children in the middle of the night. I am stuck in this home with depression and anxiety along with my children and elderly mother. We have no peace and I hate that my poor mother and kids have to live like this. My mom suffers from a heart condition and I am sure this household stress doesn't help. I need to get out of this situation. I just don't know how I can afford a four bedroom apartment or home for us. My husband is the one with the great job and great benefits. When I met him 21 years ago, he had nothing but a garbage bag full of clothes. I supported him and mentored him and helped him become A MONSTER! He has total control of everything and I have laid in bed and given up on life. I keep laying here hoping someone will show up to help me but no one is coming! No one cares! If anyone reads this, please give me some advice! I am so mentally broken, that I just can't think straight...all of my own ideas and solutions end up with horrible thoughts. I have to be strong and stick around for my kids. This is not fair to them!

[Rachms11]

Hi I'm so sorry you have to go through this have u talked to the police? Or gone to get some sort of assistance with a rental house? Not sure where ur from but in aus we have centrelink to help. Plus other charities. How long has this been going on for? Here if u need someone to talk too xx rachel

[Mireyaozzieg]

Most states have financial help specially in the situation your in i was in a very similar situation 8 years of abuse all most 13 years together and God is Good he help me remove my self from that situation and blessed with a new beginning seek him and he will help you trust me...i had to get a lil loan out and move out own my own but I was in peace and less stress environment.

[Robbie138]

Hello Ladychef , first of all I'm sad to hear you and your family are being abused, can you not get in touch like Rachms11 said a women's group that can either take you in or put in a battered women's refuge. It might be frightening to leave with nothing but the clothes on your back but in the long run it will be the best move you'll have ever done, the longer you stay with this monster the more you will be hurting your kids, they will be mentally damaged for later life you have to move soon plus your body and mind can only take so much, and your poor mothers heart will be breaking more having to witness what your going through. I know you've probably put a lot into your marriage and home but it's all just material things, you can do it again ok it's going to be hard but I'd rather have nothing and provide a calm environment for my kids firstly then you and your mum, you can't go on like this. Start looking today to see what options are out there for you and your family you deserve happiness.

I hope this has helped a bit don't hesitate to get in touch if you need someone to talk too.

🤗🤗🤗 for you xx

[blackcat64013]

Hi Ladychef,

I am devastated to hear that your husband has changed into a monster and behaving badly towards you and the family.

Sharing with us on the forum is the first step for you breaking the cycle of domestic violence (it may be called other things in different places). You have rights to be safe and be free from abuse rather than a victim of violence in your own home.

I want stress that knowing one has rights, can change a person’s outlook and create a sense of hopefulness for the future.

If you don't want to move out of the family home, involve your local police. Police departments have specialist teams to deal with domestic violence. Police officers can help you to lodge court documents for an order in your favour for him to be restrained from coming to the home or contacting you among other things. They are an excellent resource for organizations in your local area to assist you.

The next step is to pick up the phone and call for assistance.

I have included link to help answer commonly asked questions about domestic violence

domesticshelters.org/domest...

I have worked with a police department domestic violence team. I am right here for you for as long as you need me.

[DianeA]

Have u tried alanon. Support group for the families effected by alcohol.

[Hidden]

Can you and your family escape to one of those womens shelters?

[Windy101]

Call a hotline for abused women. They will help you. I know you are scared but you had the courage to reach out here. You can leave and not only survive, but thrive. Please let us know what happens. People here care.

[Hidden]

All of this is a lot of good advice you should follow. Additionally, look into a support group like Al-Anon because your husband is an alcoholic. I know about having a "successful" husband with a drinking problem. You'll find support and understanding in a support group that isn't critical or judgmental. You can find them in the phone book or online.