Have you guys "lost friends" and you don't have an idea what you did wrong?

[Starlove]

I cannot say that I am perfect. My anxiety and depression guide my behavior at times and I know I have to control that and I am getting help. At times, my depression is triggered because I "lose" a friend or someone who I thought we were cool. I don't really try to hurt people and I don't know if I am not worth the "let me let her know the things that are not working for our friendship development or whatever." When I feel hurt by someone, I try and see where it went wrong and how I should fix it. I give them opportunities to fix it and process where did they "fail" but understand that we are humans and we err. I just don't know why I don't get the same opportunity, especially, when I don't really know what I did wrong. I try to better myself and grow. I just can't seem to really get to someone who would like to know my side and understand me. I am not saying I am the perfect friend or person, because I know for sure I am not... But I wish people see that I am trying.

[Kabukilee]

I can really relate to your dilemma and feelings here Starlove. It seems that once people get to know me they lose interest, and possibly because I cancel on social dates because of my depression or other occasional ailments, like an upset stomach. I think people in general only have so much patience for people like us. I, too, will ruminate over what I possibly did wrong. I will replay the scenario with that person in my head and unfortunately, sometimes I just can't figure out what happened to the friendship or the casual acquaintance, to make the person disappear on me. I have a degree in psychology. I am almost 60...this happens with people my age, too. My friends are mature but not letting me know what I did and letting me apologize or at least work on the relationship is quite the slap in the face. It does not seem "fair"to me, but life isn't fair, I know that. I also know that most people will not tell you directly that they don't want to be your friend, but instead they will drop hints, one of which is disappearing on you, taking a long time to respond to your texts or emails, if at all, wavering on whether they want to get together with you and never establishing a date to do so, etc.. I tell myself that not everyone is going to like me and that is okay, but just to ignore me is hurtful. And then I ask "do I really want a friend that can't be willing to text me or call me up to discuss something that's bothering them with me?" And the answer is probably not. So I just focus on myself more and hope to increase my own self-respect so that friends who disappear on me will not have as much of an effect on me if I'm feeling good about myself.

[Hidden]

Be your own best friend!!!! I've lost tons of friends, sometimes I'm not sure what I said or did and other times I wish I could apologize or say something to try to mend things but they're already long gone. And to be honest there have been times I've let people go too because I just felt like they were a hassle to be around. Sometimes it can be hard to find someone you really resonate with or feel like youre on the same wavelength. But they are out there!!!! I have problems being too emotional and hyper sensitive and defensive when I feel like I'm being cornered by people. And I've never been the kind of person striving to be popular and part of some mean girl squad. Forget that. I just gravitate towards other loners, I will be friends with the kid who's getting bullied. Mean people suck.

[1428SRTYBK]

Hey Starlove! I can really understand what you’re saying and how you feel. Kinda hard not to question every single second of whatever situation it is, pining over what went wrong and why no one shows you the love you think you’re deserving of and bring to others so willingly.

I feel I somehow missed my stop, a train since passed I now am spending years never catching up to. I genuinely wonder why no one understands how lonely that is, to never be apart of things and have that be so seemingly ok. Everyone living their best lives while you sit and wait for a friend that doesn’t even remember you.

I think it’s a struggle, truly. I think we are all good people, and honestly good or not somewhere down the line we all need love.

You are definitely not alone <3

[Vickyjean]

Yes I have and it’s hard but they are not worth your friendship if they can just walk away with no explanation. My dad said if you have 5 good friends in life, you are lucky.