Is relapse a question?

[mjd_joy]

I think I have relapsed in some ways emotionally but also with substance. I have been sober for over a year and I broke my sobriety the past two days, does that mean I’ve relapsed? I am flooded with the guilt and escape it all brings and my mental state isn’t helping. I don’t want a full blown relapse and I haven’t told anyone because I want to just fix it and move on.

[Diazepam_survival]

Hey mjd_joy. That's great to read you spent 1 year sober, well done for that. The fact you have only relapsed twice isn't bad at all, the best thing now is the fact you are aware of it and you can stop it in it's tracks.

Can i ask what the trigger for your relapse was? Sometimes we have to distance ourselves away from these.

Keep focusing on the 1 year you spent sober because that is amazing ❤

[mjd_joy in reply to Diazepam_survival]

Thank you for the support🙏

Honestly I have recently changed my entire life from very toxic and abusive to living with my boyfriend cutting out toxic people, moved across the country and I am the happiest I have ever been, however when I am alone I get sad and feel like it’s going to disappear or that my happiness is a mirage

[Diazepam_survival in reply to mjd_joy]

I hear you, it's not nice being left with our own thoughts, it can be very self destructive, especially with what you have been through.

It sounds like you are self medicating to help ease the negative emotional feelings. I can tell that you are a very strong person who really doesn't want to relapse again, it sounds like you need to keep your mind busy somehow, do something that will take up a lot of your thinking time when you're alone, and try and remember that being sober is better than the life you used to live.

[Sleeping_beauty]

Congrats on the 1 year. I am in the same boat. My recovery happened in May 2019. And I definitely feel that I have relapsed emotionally where my depression is concerned. As far as I know and hear. Sounds like what you are experiencing is a "slip" and as long as you are aware you are still in control my fri and and what you want to do is reach out to a sober friend or better yet your AA Sponsor and get back on track. Stay strong. Don't be ashamed to admit you have had a slip and need help.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Talk to your sponsor.

[Fireking1]

Faux artist is correct, I had six years of sobriety and went through a rough patch in my mental health and had a wobble. All those old emotions flood through exactly where you left off and it is by only being present in the day and focussing that you can summon the strength to get back on track. Good luck to you.