I don't understand that. Yesterday was horrible. I was having panic attacks cause i felt like here i go again the suicidal thoughts are coming back, im relapsing. Im trying my hardest to hang on like im seriously trying and i don't know i just this is so hard
Why go through so many relapses durin... - Anxiety and Depre...
Why go through so many relapses during our journey to get better
37 Replies
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I know how you are feeling... I'm struggling here too... just hate it. You don't want those thoughts, but sometimes they won't shut up. Remember you are loved, cared for & are important... those bad thoughts will pass... reach out to someone, even if it's someone here. My beautiful Sunflower you are not alone... love ya. Big hugs.
• in reply tomelbrown
Hang in there melbrown how's your ears are they better
It's a huge challenge! You have to remember how special you are, there is only one you. Fight the good fight, you my dear are worth it, know that please!! Love & Hugs!!
• in reply to
Thank you, hope your day has been a good one hun
• in reply to
My pleasure! I'm pretty peachy!!! How about you? Love & Hugs!!!
Hello Danielle!
We all have bad days and times where it’s very difficult to concentrate on doing the things we need to, in order to feel better. You’re not at all alone in that! You can always start your day over at anytime or start fresh the next morning. Suicidal thoughts are the pit of doom and gloom...I understand it. You could possibly try talking positively to yourself, about yourself and see if it helps any because you’re smarter than you think, capable, sweet, beautiful and caring towards others. Focus on that and your many other positive attributes! Wishing you peace 🌷😊🌷
• in reply to
I really appreciate it and yes today was much better than the day before, i was just terrified when i posted this. Again thank you for those kind words 💜💜🌻
Mmm, I feel your pain. Going through similar myself. For me it is like my brain takes every opportunity to get me back to that sad place. I liken it to my brain recognising the hormones that pump through my body when I am anxious and saying we like this buzz give us more. The hard thing for me is I can get the buzz from doing exciting things and seeing achievements but my brain finds it so much easier to go to the bad anxious place.
I am determined to find a way to get my brain to crave the good events and not the bad.
We are so lucky to have each other for support because it is hard to describe all this to people who have not experienced it and sometimes they don't get that it's not something we want or can control easily.
Thinking about everyone who is feeling like this today and wishing you all the best.
I am reminded of a game that I can't remember the name of. I am sure it was a grid of holes and you each had a mini plastic hammer and the objective of the game was to hit all the egg head things that popped up randomly on the grid. I kind of feel like I am playing a game like that at times. Anxiety pops up, smash it on the head and repeat. 
Probably made that game up, who knows , but it sounds like something that was around when I was a kid. 
• in reply to20Voices
I know what you mean sometimes i feel like we're fighting a battle that's impossible to win
danielle, you have been a member for some time now. Some people perhaps need maintenance because their challenges may ride along with them for years. I know that's my situation; just as though I had a medical issue like diabetes. Some days I feel fine and I got the bear under control, and some days the bear gets me....I try to remember to do the things that are good "maintenance" for me before that bear acts up.xx
• in reply tolawdog
When it gets that bad it's impossible for me to even remember the good part of anything all i see is the bad, i hope you're doing well
HearYou• in reply to
I understand what you are saying. Read Agora1's replies again. Just as with any other medical issue, and our minds are part of our bodies, they need maintenance. Like surfing...sometimes we ride that wave fine, and other times we feel as the wave is behind us and going to drown us...but it' s not. Reach out to your professional help and explain what is happening to you.xxxx
Danielle, Stay safe dear. Something is triggering you. Don't be afraid to reach out for help from your therapists and doctor. It's not a defeat. Even the strongest need a hand to hold at times. Love you xx
• in reply toAgora1
It was really bad this time Agora i was terrified i even thought maybe going back to the hospital was safer that they would stop me from hurting myself.
Agora1• in reply to
Danielle, only you know when to go back in. The hospital is always our safe place. Having been in the hospital myself before, I know when push would come to shove and I would take that step forward in finding help. How are you today?
We are all here for you and care about you. We may not be able to tell you what to do but we will be behind you and support you in getting help. Stay Safe xx
Your self talk might have aggravated the situation. When you say to yourself “here we go again” causes all kinds of subconscious reactions within the mind body connection. You need to refute that line of self talk.
• in reply to
It's hard to do in that state of mind. The positivity is all gone and you're left with the bad
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I know. Hindsight is always 20/20. I hope you are feeling better.
Mental health is a life-long struggle. Unfortunately, there's no cure for what we're going through. Remember you're a beautiful person who's loved dearly. You have people rooting for you. ♥️
• in reply to
🌻💜💜 it's definitely a struggle, im also rooting for you hun
• in reply to
Thank you so much! ♥️
Hi Danielle,
I know right now the fear of relapsing. The negative thoughts can become hard to control and it is scary and pushes us with anxiety toward the edge while we are fighting to get back to the good spots. The good we will get back to. Please take care. Please do what you know you need to do to get better. 💐
• in reply toStarrlight
🌻🌻💜 thanks hun, if things don't get better, going back to the facility might be the safest place for me
Starrlight• in reply to
Best wishes to you. what type of facility is it? I’ve been to the hospital as well as a crisis care house.
• in reply toStarrlight
It's a private mental hospital, i loved it there. Not a lot of mental hospital know how to deal with agoraphobic patients like me
I wish I could be a better friend for you and I deeply apologise for not being able to do so Danielle.
It is really hard being thousands of miles away from someone in dire need. Just realise you are very well loved and that you should know we are here for you if you need us at any time.
You are also not inconveniencing us in any way and we will always be there for you, and most important of all, you will not be judged and we will listen to and cherish every word.
Be and stay strong intelligent, beautiful and precious Danielle. Keep your sunflowers alive and beautiful. Your face shines bright in every single one.
• in reply to
Hey Matthew
• in reply to
Hey Danielle. 🤗
• in reply to
Welcome back, no need to apologize and thank you, i do love my sunflowers im getting really good at this gardening thing
• in reply to
Thank you! Think of all those poor sunflowers you are letting down if you give up on them. Maybe gardening is something you should pursue professionally if you enjoy it? 🤗
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