Relapsed

[Loki1018]

I was stable for a while but a few days ago began to become manic. I have bipolar 1 depression and anxiety and I been on a binge and still till today I have yet to sleep which is t helping the situation. Last night while brushing my teeth I crashed and for a brief moment began crying and crying feeling so depressed and despaired. Before I hit that pillow I ended up getting back up there because I just want to stay up there.

[kenster1]

hi what sort of binging do you mean.its ok to cry don't feel bad for it hopefully you get back on track real soon.

[Loki1018]

Drug binge

[kenster1 in reply to Loki1018]

most people no matter what they give up usually have set backs and its important that you let it be a set back so you can get back on track again.are you receiving support its important to talk.

[Loki1018 in reply to kenster1]

Yes I have a team a psychiatrist, a therapist, and family mostly my mom

[kenster1 in reply to Loki1018]

that's good glad you have a decent amount of support and you have all of us.

[Loki1018]

I know it’s ok to cry one must in order to feel better it’s not that but going through the feelings and emotions of despair,sadness, feeling lonely 😞 . I just hate feeling sad 😔 I was fine and at the flip of a switch suddenly was completely different and feeling different. Comes with the territory of being bipolar.

[Ginger289]

I understand not wanting to cry, sometimes I pretend I don't have sad feelings ever. I have learned though if I don't express them when I have them they build until it's unbearable and I am an a huge panic attack crying and not breathing. I try to watch movies or shows that will help make me emotional so at least I have a "reason" to be sad.

[sunandbutterfly]

I am so glad that you have a support system in place. Make sure that you are completely honest with them so they can help you through this.

Like Ginger, I sometimes watch sad movies when I feel like I need to cry. It really helps release some tension. After my aunt died, I watched the movie Letters to God so I could cry. You might ask your therapist about recommendations for this.

[Loki1018 in reply to sunandbutterfly]

Oh I have no issues with crying I just don’t like too although afterwards I do feel a tad bit better. I guess I just don’t like rolling through the emotions especially sad or despair along with anxiety right behind it.

[sunandbutterfly in reply to Loki1018]

That is quite an emotional ride for sure. A social worker once told me that tears are like an emotional pressure relief valve. Try not to feel ashamed, there are many people who feel the same. You are not alone!

[RevJames67]

Hang in there loki1018. Mental health recovery is a rollercoaster. We all have setbacks now and then, but hopefully you have learned some good coping skills and have a good support network