I keep messing up with people!!!

I am in the worst mood. If I was feeling better I could respond better to people's posts on here and be more helpful. I started texting someone I met on here, I feel like I blew it with her. If she's reading this, I'm really sorry I'm saying all the wrong things, I'd still like to get to know you!!! Why does everyone text these days, no one actually talks??? I'm so angry with the world I just lie in bed and listen to music. I'm listening to too much Eminem because I just feel angry, I'm tired of feeling stagnant. I don't get along with anyone, I feel like I want to throw things at the wall, and what will that accomplish??? Just a mess. I can't get a job, I haven't worked in 10 years, I have a bad attitude. I want to scream. I'm in a community mental health program where the social workers don't care how they treat you. I want to get out of it. Then I'd probably have to pay to see a psychiatrist. I wish I had some real friends that I could go out to lunch with. I just feel like trash no one wants anything to do with. People just leave. My best friend is my ex. We live too far away to meet and we both don't have cars any more, but I'm glad he still cares about me. He's the only person I can call who actually will talk on the phone, not text. I can't do anything right, I know no one cares. I will probably never have any kind of a relationship with a guy ever again, I'm 50 years old, my life will never be together, I am all over the place, I can't hold down a normal job. Nothing about me is normal, everything seems to piss me off. You don't need to reply to this, I know no one will.

[Dolphin14]

I'm sorry you are feeling so depressed. Can you get out of the house? Take a walk? Switch back to some different music that may make you feel a bit better?

As far as the phone goes. I'm one of those people that hates talking on the phone. I know it's frustrating for some people that I know but that's the way I am.

Can you find some volunteer work to keep you busy while you are on the hunt for a job?

[Hidden]

I’ve read your post here and ran into a couple replies on other people’s thread, you sound extremely overwhelmed and in a panic.

I’m reading this early morning (4:30 am) and I see that 6 hours have passed since you posted this, I’m hoping your sleeping and you’ll wake being less overwhelmed and mood lifted a bit.

Instead of offering words such as ‘maybe you should do this or that’, what can we do to help you get through these panicky times when they come rushing in? I do care, I might not have the perfect words to say, but I’ll try to help you get to the other side of this if I can. 💜🌺

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I am feeling very overwhelmed because my mom is having surgery on one of her feet tomorrow and I feel like I'm expected to take over for her and do my parents laundry and wait on her. I want to get away from everyone in my family and I can't get away from them!!! And last week I tried to apply for a couple of jobs online, but I don't really know how to upload a resume on the online application and there's no one I can ask how to do it. My 21 year old nephew lives here too and if he was a nicer person I'd ask him some of this stuff but he's not, I think he's a total jerk and he sure as hell doesn't care to try to help me with anything. All these younger people know so much more about computers than older people do so they want to treat us with no respect like we are a bunch of dummies. I'm so frustrated even trying to get a stupid job at a Wal-mart, it's like all this fuss for a job I will probably hate. They want someone younger in their 20s anyway. I tried applying to work in a restaurant before this and they didn't even want me. I get rejected everywhere. I need a real career, not these lousy part time jobs. I wish I could write a well received book, or write songs and be some kind of musician, and it all seems like I'm living in dreamland and it's so far fetched. I wish I knew a friendly younger person that I could pay something to, to personally tutor me on a computer a few times. Seems like everything is learn it yourself or Google it. I'm sick of this pandemic by now. A friend I used to have, she ditched me. I want to be a hermit.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I had a long message to you but I edited it out.

I just want to say sorry your hurting. I/we are here to listen anytime you need to vent, scream, etc.

Anyhoo, wishing for you a brighter attitude, uplifted mood and changed perspectives, these will help you more than anything I can say on this platform. Have a good day, or at least I hope you’ll try to have some good hours of the day. 🌺💜🌺💜