I can see why people give up. Possible TW

[Adamj]

I’ve struggled with different mental health intensities since I was about 4 I’m 22 now going through the worst I’ve ever dealt with I don’t even know wtf my body is doing half the time I’m so sensitive to everything it’s scary I notice everything going on inside. We are all so strong for going through this and trying to survive everyday. I will never ever judge someone who decided that suicide was their best option. This is so tiring annoying scary frustrating to deal with everyday. You’ll have that nice couple minutes or a little longer of feeling “normal” and then you have a day from hell like I did today. I feel like I’m in a hole trying to get out by climbing up a greased rope. The body sensations are so annoying terrifying sitting there and you feel your whole body get tight and then that survival brain kicks in and all your thoughts disappear and your trying to survive run fight or freeze from something invisible. The ever changing symptoms trying so many different meds in hope one will work. Having your family frustrated thst they see you going through this and they don’t know how to help you. Being told you’re healthy but with very real physical symptoms. The depression and anxiety mix and you cry because you don’t know how tf to get out of this with everything you’ve tried. Being told “we want you back” meaning they want the old you back because they see you sitting/laying around going through this shit. Having a mind that was destroyed by trauma growing up. Mental illness fucking sucks I’ve been told that if it can go away before it can go away again but it’s just so hard to see that. I feel like I’m crazy from all these sensations trying to explain it to people. I have this fortune from a fortune cookie I’ve been carrying with me since I was 16 that says “never give up” Ive always tried to live by that but man it’s super hard when you feel like this.

[blackcat64013]

Hi Adam, You are so brave and courageous 👍

It is totally OK with me, doing the best you can each day.🙂 If you can do some trauma informed therapy, I think you might be able to turn down your nervous system which is operating in overdrive at the moment. Research what this kind of therapy is and look for someone who uses this approach.

All the best from me in Australia 🦘

[Adamj in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you I think my therapist now is going to try and have me talk about my trauma and such and try and get me to turn my nervous system down

[Dolphin14]

Adam:

I'm sorry for your pain. Your post really sums up what we go through. Every day brings on more challenge, frustration. sadness, confusion, etc etc. Its so draining.

Have you done trauma therapy? Black cat mentions it also.

You've suffered from a young age. There may be something deeper that you are not aware of right now.

Please know that we are here for you.

🐬

[Arymretep]

You are so young , with your whole life in front of you, you will get there as you are so brave and strong , we are all here for you 😘

[EndUser13]

I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time, you seem like a nice, intelligent guy who would be fun to be around. I like your analogy of feeling like you're in a hole and trying to climb out on a greased rope, I can relate to this idea.

Keep fighting the way you've been, you always sound like you have a good understanding of what's going on, even if it is overwhelming and seemingly insurmountable. I wish you the best of luck!

[Adamj in reply to EndUser13]

Thank you! I’m trying so hard to fight I don’t want to get to a breaking point of no return. It’s scary.

[EndUser13 in reply to Adamj]

What do you think could happen that there is no returning from?

[Adamj in reply to EndUser13]

I really don’t know I guess it’s just a thought that I’ll never get better and always be in this constant state

[EndUser13 in reply to Adamj]

Fortunately, that is not something that is set in stone. Catastrophizing has lead me into too many panic attacks, so I do understand what you're saying. Try to be as positive as you can be, it's far more worth it to be a positive person than to dog yourself with worries and end up making yourself sick with fear. I think you deal with enough fear without giving it a hand! I know this isn't always easy though...

[Chantelle9788]

how are you doing Adam?