3 day clean and I messed up by smoking

[tamka38]

Am on day 3 being sober I went to go visit a friend and she offer me some weed and we smoke 2 blunts and afterwards I started to feel dizzy or light headed so I grab my head and my heart was racing and I was shaking and the house was full with people and nobody knew how to help me and no knows I have anxiety or depression and I know I scared them and myself I never going back to visit them and am back home and I don’t never want to leave my house again everyday am struggling with a different mental or physical pain every time I think am getting better am not I don’t know what to do now I was enjoying myself earlier with my mom shopping and now am worrying if it going to happen again and I don’t want to scare my kids and my 19 year old is sick and he need to be well to take care of him and am thinking an leaving my bf because he’s an alcoholic and he don’t believe he’s one and am tried of trying to be there for him when am feeling so disconnected and alone

[anhedonia87]

You're dealing with a bunch of stressful things all at once. Don't be too hard on yourself; it sounds like overall you're making really positive changes. You're definitely a strong person and you'll make it through.

Good decision about not visiting those friends anymore. Quitting weed is really hard. It took me multiple tries. I couldn't hang out with friends who smoked anymore. Visiting my family made me happy and improved my mood when I didn't think anything could. I hope you are able to spend more time with your mom.

[tamka38 in reply to anhedonia87]

Am worrying right now and scared

[deborah27]

ok, slow down. wow! how well you are doing. you are really making really great changes here. you are seeing who your real friends are and really talking well about your family. you are going to choose not to be around people who aren't supportive of your new life choices. listen, you made one silly mistake... keep going, you know how much better your life will be. be proud and hold your head high.

[tamka38 in reply to deborah27]

I was scared because I thought I was about to pass out didn’t know what was going on dizzy or light headed it happen after smoking weed so i over thinking everything

[deborah27]

just learn from that. it's not for you anymore. life is getting clean and sober and having an amazing healthy you!

[tamka38 in reply to deborah27]

Have u ever got that dizzy spell or light headed or head spending and just scared am going to have a panic attack

[deborah27]

don't be scared of a panic attack. your body is withdrawing from alcohol and is working hard. you then smoked weed, of course you are going to feel dizzy and weird. get in touch with AA or similar, someone to support you and explain what your body is doing.

[tamka38 in reply to deborah27]

Have u ever experience that before

[Concernedparent23]

I've seen that happen before to my daughter tamka

She was under a lot of stress and hadn't slept much. She was dizzy and faint with her heart racing as you say. Also she was having visual and audio hallucinations.

It was very scary for her and also those around her, including me.

It was the event that persuaded her (and a few of her friends) to stop smoking weed.

She is fine now, almost 2 years on and it hasn't happened again.

She is doing really well in life - more healthy and resiliant and able to cope with the ups and downs of life so much better.

Do talk it through with someone from a service like AA though. As suggested by other forum members, it'll help put your mind at rest.

There will be the odd setback but It'll be worth it in the end.

Good luck, keep trying.

[tamka38 in reply to Concernedparent23]

It was scary and Am just mad at myself because am 3 days clean and I wanted to smoke weed and made everything worse plus am a chronic anemia and sometimes blood pressure goes up am going through allot

[Concernedparent23 in reply to tamka38]

I can hear life has given you a heavy burden at the moment tamka, but also how much you want to change.

I can hear as well that you're beating yourself up for this one mistake. Be kinder and forgive yourself so you can move forward past it.

You think it's the blunts you smoked that caused the symptoms. It's good that you recognised what caused it, it means you have a better chance of avoiding it again in the future. You could use some other strategies for when you feel the craving to smoke but want to avoid it.

Centauri had some good suggestions for coping strategies. Instead of being angry at yourself up for a mistake (we all make them), use the time and energy to look up some more coping strategies. That would be a really positive thing to do for yourself. You may need some support for this - is there an AA or NA service near you?

You can do this, just don't let one mistake get in your way.

3 days is brilliant, but it's still early days. Keep trying x

[tamka38 in reply to Concernedparent23]

Been trying to find meetings close to me

[Centauri]

What you need to realize is that all weed is not the same. Do you even know what you’re smoking? I smoked weed most of my life. I’m 42 years old. There are articles that you can search that show that high thc and low cbd strains (indicas) cause anxiety/depression. If you are looking to smoke weed in the future, you need to find strains that are either equal in thc/cbd. Or much higher in cbd than thc. (Usually sativas) The government is currently growing high cbd strains to combat ptsd/anxiety/depression. It might be best for you to not smoke weed for at least a year. You need to reset your brain. Don’t think your brain can’t repair itself because it can! You need to dig in and start going to the gym. I quit smoking six months ago. A few things I do to help curb bad feelings. I run 15 minutes a day on the treadmill at planet fitness. I do typical weight lifting. Pushups, leg lifts, curls, bench press and squats. Squats are really good for you, especially women! Look up self help weight lifting on YouTube . Alpha x and alpha lean are good channels. You need to stop smoking weed that disagrees with your body chemistry or stop all together. Another more extreme way to curb depression is with psilicybin. You would need to research that on your own since it is illegal. Make sure you eat balanced meals and spend time in the sun too! Don’t allow yourself to wallow on the couch or bed. As soon as you recognize bad thoughts get up and move around. Go for a long walk if you have to.

[tamka38 in reply to Centauri]

The dizziness and lightheaded and racing heart and shaking caught me of guard and scared the hell out of me. I was anxious all day after the episode and was worrying will it happen again I just want to feel better and my sick and he need me to take care of him

[Imakook]

Hi Tamka,

You could try lying down while you do a little deep breathing so you know you won't fall. Breathe in thru nose for 4 secs, then out thru mouth for 8 secs. Panic episodes are not real-life dangers because there is no immediate physical threat.

If you want to stay sober, it's very do-able. You only need to want it & it requires going to AA meetings (if you're looking for quality sobriety). Looking online for an AA directory.

So what if you lost a few days of sobriety. I've seen people smoke weed & go out after 17 years of sobriety!

Start stringing together a new run of sobriety, but find a meeting & a sponsor. Contact me or this group anytime! Take care.

[tamka38 in reply to Imakook]

Thank you

[Mary-intussuception in reply to tamka38]

How are you feeling now

xx