New Member: I joined just now because I... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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I joined just now because I suffer for depression and anxiety.

I have a wife and two kids. I’ve been known to be EXTREMELY efficient at my work partially DUE to my anxiety. I don’t leave an email/inquiry/request incomplete due to fear of what I will see in my email inbox the next day. My fellow co-workers are not aware of this. I’m currently taking anti-anxiety medication, but I don’t use it during work. I primarily use it for sleep.

My mind is constantly racing, especially during sleep. I aim to please and constantly evaluate a prior email, conversation, interaction, etc. that I’ve previously had. I’m my own worst critic, my manager and director even know that. I’m also a poker player (maybe that helps or hurts). I remember people’s playing styles and betting patterns.

I’m always searching for “intention” behind the communication that I receive. I feel I’m fairly intuitive in ulterior motives. This could also be a symptom of “over-analyzing”, which I do on a regular basis. In short, I can’t “shut down”. Also, I’m not proud of it, but I occasionally drink to put my mind at ease. Nothing serious to jeopardize my family or wellbeing, but serious enough to hide portions of it when I can.

I’ve never turned to a group/forum like this. My wife is a Leo and I’m a Virgo lol. She doesn’t understand what I’m going through, even though we are “high school sweet hearts”. We have been together since we were fifteen. She tries to sympathize, but just doesn’t understand. I imagine many do not.

That’s the nutshell...

15 Replies
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Hi and welcome👋

We understand. I over-analyze communications with others as well. It is draining.

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Hidden in reply to MinnieMouse1234

Thank you for understanding. It’s comforting to finally hear that from someone.

MinnieMouse1234
MinnieMouse1234 in reply to Hidden

It is, isn't it? You're welcome.🙂

Hidden
Hidden in reply to MinnieMouse1234

Right now I’m rearranging my apps so that this NEW one is alphabetized correctly on my phone lol. My OCD is kicking in quite a bit as I turned 33. Which is today. Happy birthday to me, right?

MinnieMouse1234
MinnieMouse1234 in reply to Hidden

Hey, happy birthday!!! What will you do for yourself today?

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Hidden in reply to MinnieMouse1234

It was the 17th. So it’s over. To sum it up, I worked and took a nap. My daughter is schooling from home due to a recent positive test in her class. I overheard her telling her teacher via Zoom that it was her daddy’s birthday, he was was busy working hard in the next room, wasn’t having fun, and would probably take a nap later. It didn’t make me feel good.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Hidden

I suppose THAT is one of the reasons I signed up. Can I ask you, does this help at all? I’ve never been part of something like this.

MinnieMouse1234
MinnieMouse1234 in reply to Hidden

I wouldn't take it personally. Little kids will say what they will say. So, I guess you're in the States. West?

Hidden
Hidden in reply to MinnieMouse1234

BIBLE BELT! Lol. Yes. Oklahoma.

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

People outside America are usually familiar with New York, Texas, or California lol. Just north of Texas is Oklahoma.

MinnieMouse1234
MinnieMouse1234 in reply to Hidden

I knew it! I have family in the west, so I know the time difference between us. That's how I could guess. I'm in Norway. Guess where I'm from, though? Texas.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to MinnieMouse1234

Texas Lol. GO OU. Down horns! 😂😂😂

Still, very happy for your cordial welcome.

MinnieMouse1234
MinnieMouse1234 in reply to Hidden

I'm about to start my day. Try and get some sleep, okay?

You're welcome!

Hidden
Hidden in reply to MinnieMouse1234

I will. Have fun in that beautiful land. Hear Norway is simply beautiful. I’ll wake up to the plains lol. Still love Oklahoma though lol.

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Nevertheless. Very happy to hear an immediate happy welcome. 😊

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