I know that everyone knows this but I am hoping I can shed a bit more rainbow light on it. I have no one who loves me. NO ONE that seems hard to believe but it is actually true. I have had people in my life who loved me and I loved them. Most died, some it was my fault cause i was not in a good place and made way too many mistakes and caused them too much pain so they rightly had to move on, and the few others could not handle a person who went through roller coaster days and would shut down. I would go into what I call turtle mode and just sit in my room and cry. I couldn't talk to anyone cause they had their own stuff and really could not get that I was not able to just think positive and be okay. Most were also very religious and they thought and told me I was in sin for being the way I was. If I had more faith and loved God I would not be having so many problems emotionally or mentally.
So if you have one person that loves you and is there for you cherish them. Cherish them and let them know how you feel. If you have more than one your truly blessed. It hurts so much to not have one person that loves you. It is beyond painful.
If you have hurt someone you love apologize and if possible do the work to mend what was broken if anything was. If you loose them grieve and grow.
Cherish those who love you and who you love. Don't waste a day you have with them to let them know you love them and what they mean to you. And love yourself too. Its so Important to love ourselves.
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I know I may not know you but I love you and care about you! We all need to stick together through this anxiety/depression whatever anyone is dealing with we must lift each other up and show support. I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. I agree with what you’re saying it’s hard losing people. I always try and end on good terms with the people who walk out of my life and I always try my best to be kind to others because you never know what someone is going through and you never know when that breaking point will be for them.
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Thank you. That is so kind of you to say. Its so hard for me right now. I really feel like I am very close to my breaking point. Its so bad I should maybe go to a mental hospital but I am too afraid to go. I have been when I was younger. I feel like I need help but I think maybe if I had one friend, one person I could talk to and also be there for too I would move a bit closer to more stable.
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Well if it helps any just keep reaching out on here. I don’t have many friends in my life either. I guess there is a reason for everything but the thing that’s helped me feel less alone is posting on here and giving and receiving advice.
I have never been to a mental hospital not sure what it’s like but do you go to therapy or looked into going? They have hotlines you can call as well if you really really need help. If you’d like you can PM me? I’m here for you and I know you will be okay💕
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I need to get into therapy but its hard when I have no way to get there or pay the copay. I have no money of my own
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Where are you from? Could you try looking up mental health hotline on google for whatever country you are living in? I’m sure they could help and it’s always nice having someone to talk to on the phone. I know they have a text option too.
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I will get back to you in the morning. It is 1:30 AM here.
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I live in Nevada in the usa . Thank you for the help and advice.
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WHO WOULD YOU TURN TO?
To Those Left Behind After a Suicide
Anyone who knows what love is will understand
Feeling lonely
You are not alone! 
