I Can't Be Me Anymore

I am falling apart. I can't go on like this. I read where someone said a life without any human connections cannot be called a life and that is what I have: no connections. I have silly, pathetic crushes on people I will never meet, like a child does and they make me feel even more pathetic and worthless. No friends, no real life lived experiences that make being here worthwhile. I cannot keep this up, I am failing at being a person. I want to leave. How many times have I let my parents down? I can't hold a job because even though I can't do anything, I have this belief that I was meant for more. I am a worthless excuse for a person, I can't do this anymore.

[Starrlight]

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[Hidden]

You have to fight those feelings! If you're unhappy with your life, then change it. You probably are meant for more. Can you take classes online to learn a new trade doing something you want to do? Make goals for yourself and then do the necessary research and preparation to fulfill those goals. It's never too late to change! Tell yourself that you are worthy and deserving of good things.

I think we are all suffering some right now with loneliness because of covid. Hang in there and keep fighting negativity!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I was lonely before Covid. I have not had friends for over twenty years. I don't know how to change. I hated college so much it put me off learning anything new. Thank you for reading.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It's hard to get out of a negative mindset when you are so used to it. I have to constantly fight negative thoughts because I'm in my late 40's and I've wasted my life being negative. I struggle with making friends too because of feeling not worthy. Don't wait to change. Can you start with small goals? Anything to distract yourself and give you something to look forward to. Change just means doing something different than you normally do.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I would have changed by now. I know you are being kind and trying to help but I don't see myself changing.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Don't beat yourself up. You'll get there. I was so miserable the past 2 weeks and then all of a sudden I just snapped and decided to be happy again. Don't take that the wrong way I'm not telling you to just get over it. What I'm saying is you have to find that one thing that makes you go screw being sad, from here on I'm happy.

[Hidden]

Hey you’re doing the best you can. Don’t be so hard on yourself and please don’t call yourself such things, it won’t do you any good! Shift your perspective. The more you tell yourself you’re no good the worse you will feel. I’ve learned the hard way. We are all here for you ❤️

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Anytime 😊

[Hidden]

You are not worthless, you aren't a failure you just haven't found your passion yet. Everyone has crushes, I still have a crush on a chick from a tv show when I was a kid. If you want a friend, you have one message me anytime. 🖤🖤🖤🖤

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You're welcome. Like I said I'm here anytime.

[marsdream]

In order to have connection, you need to go where you can get connected. Are you in school or are you looking for work. Don't give up on life because of some bad times. You are meant for more. Why don't you try to find a cause that you can volunteer for. You pour out of you and into someone else. You have a lot to give to others, you need to understand your purpose. Plus try talking to your parents again, to find connection with family. I pray that God will touch your heart so you can understand your purpose in life. You can do this!

[Hidden in reply to marsdream]

Thank you. School is long behind me and I can't even bring myself to get out of bed most days.