I was terrified about going to the hospital because I wasn't feeling well. Afraid there was something seriously going on with me.
Thank God I went to the hospital when I did. At first they thought I was having a heart attack, but soon confirmed it was blood clots in my lungs. Was admitted and spent two days on an IV drip blood thinner. Had a CT scan, two sonograms, multiple EKG's and blood drawn every three hours.
Came home on Friday. I do feel better, but anxiety through the roof. I know that will pass with time once my mind settles. I almost died. This is serious enough but it could have been so much worst. I'm grateful to be here.
I want to thank everyone who reached out to me while going through this. I have nobody in my life and your kind words meant so much to me during a time I needed it most.
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offbeat
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We're all so glad you're safe, now! I apologize I missed your post. But don't think about what happened friday when you can think about all of the great things you can do since you are better! you are so right, your anxiety will definitely pass, I hope it goes by soon. Take care! xx <3
Im so glad you're home and a bit better now! Time for a little laugh to make you feel just a teansy bit better though- I can kind of relate to you, so a few years ago I was cleaning out my closet and I dropped something and I fell in (oml i should have brought my life alert)jk im 16 and have a healthy heart). but I literally had stuff cave in all over me. Books, wired hangers, a plastic dresser and board games, etc. The bitch was a mess, lemme tell ya. Anyway, I started to yell for my sibling cause we have a tiny house so I was sure they'd hear me. And oml, i should have just remained quiet. I was in the back of our closet wailing for their help, and they whipped out their tablet and recorded a video of me while they laughed at me when I was stuck. They they posted it to tik tok and walked away, didn't even think about helping me. They just went and grabbed my cousin to show him. So uh, ya girl was pissy and hissed at their booties til they got me out b/c at the time I was like 12 and I did that cause I thought I was the shit lmao
So glad you’re ok. After my husband got deathly ill and survived (thank God!), my anxiety and depression got out of control.
One day I went to my neighbor friends house and balled. I was so afraid I would lose him. I said “he almost died!!” Sobbing. My friend said - “ He didn’t!! He didn’t die!!” And somehow that (obvious) statement resonated with me- he didn’t!! He made it! His body got through it. God decided we needed him in this earth another day (or months or decades!!)
Let it sit with you that your body recovered from something so major. Wow! Your body is amazing! You are strong and your body got Through it! God has so Much more in store for you!! Now on to amazing adventures my friend! ❤️ Cheers to second chances!
Offbeat, first thank God you are OK! Mine would be too, from being in a strange environment, and a close call with death. What helps me when I go through something like you did is making a gratitude list about the situation. I had a near accident, and I started panicking. Then I thought, "Thank You, God that I reacted in time. Thank You that I DIDN'T get into an accident, etc." It helped ,but we all have to go through what we have to go through.
i dunno where you are, but most places they're taking healthy patients in the morning so you'll just have to go back in time and change the clocks and such.
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xx
Update
Struggling with depression
Another post, I know. It went so bad with my psych. 
Update on surgery Monday. Not good
lil update
