Coward

[Kitkatbar]

My depression is just constant. I just feel I need to tell what I'm feeling because its all bottle up. I'me changing from Trintellix back to Lexapro, but the meds just doesn't do anything. How you deal with the terrible endless days of living? I keep thinking others are in some much worse situation than I am, but the feeling just won't go away. I've been depressed for 30 + years and it doesn't get any better. Its now worse because I have lost all interest in the world. and no medication can help you with that. I wish i wasn't such a coward and could just stop the endless repeat cycle of living & doing nothing.

I wake up - work - watch YouTube and go to bed. That's it everyday. I just can't imagine doing this anymore. Go walking is the advice, but then all I do is think how lonely I am in my walk.

I get the constant message of go out and meet people. where?? how do I make friends if they're not interested?? You can't make someone like you and no normal person wants a friend whose mentally ill (been there!).

I just can't find the blessing in living this life. I feel that I've done enough-- there's nothing else left to do.

[Aspetta]

Hi. I have had anxiety and depression for over 30 years too. It is hard meeting new people. Do you have a hobby like sewing, quilting or photography?

[Kitkatbar in reply to Aspetta]

That's the problem. I guess the depression has taken anything interesting out of my life. I don't enjoy anything like I use to. I use to love reading... now I don't bother with it. I tried getting back to knitting & stuff, but then after a few weeks it wears off and I'm back to lack of interest. I just can't hold interest in anything. Books were my escapism but now it holds no interest really. I use to stay up all night just to finish a book. the last time I checked out some books, it took me weeks just to finish it.

I did try to go meet people... church (before Covid time) and going out camping, but I usually just end up being by myself -- just a loner again. So it just wasn't enough to hold any interest.

[Aspetta in reply to Kitkatbar]

Could it be hormonal/menopausal?