A tic or what?

[WasAPilot]

When I am in the beginning or midst of one of my shame attacks- that's what I'm calling it now. It's not a panic attack. It's not an anxiety attack. My heart doesn't race nor do I have racing thoughts, cold sweats or hiding from the world. My mind is shaming me. I just yell out "I don't care" or mumble something ugly about myself on the every single thing my mind is reminding me of- those things which usually don't mean anything to anyone- that I'm no good, I screwed up, whatever it is that it's telling me this time. It could be something from 20 years ago or longer that just pop up in my head reminding me of how I screwed something up, did or didn't do, said or didn't say, etc.

I've stopped asking the "why is this happening to me" and just accepted (read settled for) that it does happen, and no matter what, it's GOING to happen again, over and over. It's the very definition of insane- doing the same things over and over again expecting different results. Well, that's refreshing isn't it? Insight is way overrated. I want to lash out at my invisible, but very real, enemy but I can't. How does one attack something invisible except in one's outward actions/reactions?

Benzo's work, but are a slippery slope, and a lot of physicians, out of their abundance of "knowing better" won't prescribe them for the long term. Well, I've been on them for years, as well as other medications like Hydroxyzine which just doesn't work, for me. It's an antihistamine like Benadryl. I won't even consider it again.

[Agora1]

Hi WasAPilot, you are on the right track, but can I tweak your approach a little??

It's worked for me and maybe it will help you as well. When you get these mind shaming

attacks, by all means, shout out loud. Doing that can get the brain to listen. Instead of

coming down hard on yourself, reverse the yelling to this mind controlling entity called

Anxiety...

It would go something like "This is my Life" "How dare you put me down" "I deserve

to leave my past in the past" "I am human and am allowed to have made mistakes"

"Those mistakes don't make me inferior" "I have learned from my life experiences and

you will not constantly bring them up to me" "I will no longer tolerate your emotional

abuse" "You mean nothing to me" "Be Gone, I've got this"

You get the idea. Once these negative thoughts keep being tossed to the curb, the abuse

will lessen. My best to you... xx

[pink318]

Hi- We all have shame attacks. I used to dwell on that emotion but I realized that it’s not helping me. I listened to sermons and it’s a big help. I also surround myself with people who encouraged me. Now whenever I experience that I help myself by thinking that I am a work on progress. I commit mistakes, I have to learn from it and move forward. It’s not easy but it’s the only way that I would not suffer from it.

I’m sorry you are going through this. Please be gentle on yourself. This too shall pass by God’s grace. I had a difficult time but I overcame it through prayers and encouragement from others. I pray that you will also overcome it. Focus on your strengths and try to avoid negative-self talk. I hope things will get better for you. Keep us posted.