Overwhelmed (**possible trigger warning**)

[Lixus]

Hi there, hope everything is going well for you all,

So I had a really tough night and I keep struggling today, I got two panic attacks, first one yesterday night at 1am and second like two hours after I woke up, I almost start hurting myself again in the first breakdown because I was in a lot of psychological pain, I've always dealt with anxiety, social anxiety and obsessive-intrusive thoughts but for the last months/maybe 1 or 2 years I've been experiencing some type of "minor depression symptoms" like days, even weeks when I just wanted to lay on bed without any motivation, I didn't want to talk to anybody or do anything at all and in a "low mood" but yesterday... It was the first time I experienced this, with all the social anxiety and obsessive thoughts I start crying for no reason sometimes and start feeling really sad with no reason neither, then my mind started thinking a lot of things related to what trigger my social anxiety and then I began having self-harm thoughts again to stop the pain and because I thought I was "a little piece of trash" (sorry for the way I write it but it was how I was feeling at the moment) and no one will talk to me ever again because I'm difficult to dealt with or something like that or that I won't meet important, great people because of that.

I don't know if I can be depressed since I can't get an appointment with my therapist due to the pandemic and I don't know how to deal with it because this type of feelings are new for me... Any advice? Would be appreciated

[meechie-18]

So sorry to hear that you are in such pain. There R sources that U can reach out to. Don't

know where U live. During this period of COVID-19 there are special sources that you can reach out to. Try NAMI where you live. This is National Association of Mental Health. They will listen to and perhaps have sources for you to reach out to. I'm always here 4 U. I have gone thru days on laying on the couch all day. I'm Bipolar ADHD and this sometimes happens to me. Also try a little cognitive thinking. It helps me. It would be like I'm going thru this tough scary time and I can't reach out to my therapist which makes it harder. This makes sense. But instead of making it harder on yourself, know that there R sources out there that might help U and be a guiding light to U right now. like I said start with NAMI

in your community and try Golden Talk. I was never technically diagnosed with ADHD until

I was 39. Now that I've been on my meds for over 20 years the issues still arise. Whoever

you speak to whether it be Nami or something else tell them about these ADHD feelings

Sometimes there R exercises and tips U can use Also do U have any friends or people close to U who U can reach out to U. This can be of great comfort. Yes mental health issues R still considered a stigma, but if U do this it will show how strong and gutsy U R

[Lixus in reply to meechie-18]

Hi, thanks for the answer, I'm from Europe and idk if there is some online support groups in my country like this one you told me, but I will look and see what I can find.

I told my friends about it, and I know how to deal with my other anxiety problems but this "depression" thing... Idk how to handle it and either my friends know except from some advices they gave me

[meechie-18 in reply to Lixus]

Hi Lixus. It's Shnookie again. Sorry it took me some time to get back to U. Re the depression issue, I would suggest going online and find the large cities near U and perhaps a University that has a hospital and ask them if they know of clinics, support groups, therapists, etc. dealing with depression. The health insurance where U live might be much different than in California where I live. Please stay in touch and hope U get the help U need. Also if I feeling sad and blue sometimes, I turn on music that makes me happy and want to dance obviously if I'm this is much easier to do. I like funk at times so the Gap Band's early in the morning or James Brown's Living in America R great just type it in YouTube. I was a caregiver for an 88 year old woman with dementia and when I turned on James Brown she started dancing in her chair!!

[Lixus in reply to meechie-18]

Hi, no problem,

I start having therapy again so hopefully I can learn about my new problems in the next couple of months

Thanks for your music recommendation, in fact, I love music so much, I turn on music evertime I feel down or when I'm having anxiety and it really helps me, I'm learning to play instruments (a keyboard and guitar to begin with)

[meechie-18 in reply to Lixus]

So happy to hear that you are back in therapy. Because of Covid and heightened stress and anxiety levels of attempting to find employment and interviews, I decided at the grand old age of 62 to explore how I could better with my ADHD. Fortunately, I'm starting to find some coping mechanisms including cognitive thinking and deep breathing. I have always loved all different kinds of music and so it's a natural progression, that it has helped me get thru some hard times during this age of COVID. Great to hear that U R learning to play some musical instruments and expressing your creativity