Once was a time when death was the next great adventure

The first time I had ever opened up to a therapist about my perspective on suicidal ideation.

It was that my initial native fear of death has morphed into a more positive escape.

Depression makes things so void of all feeling sometimes.

You constantly seek something to be excited, or joyful, or something to look forward to.

Sometimes it never comes.

That’s when death seems so appealing.

It seems like the last uncharted waters of the mind that we can’t google.

It seems like a dream land where you can drop the weight and be everything you’ve ever wanted to be.

This is when you need to fight back and stay.

Don’t rush it.

Someday that peace will come.

Finish this fucked up adventure first❤️🙏

[Agora1]

Hey Pittiedad9, I just read your response to Mratl. I'm glad you appreciate the positive

posts and responses on this forum. It's not always about pain and suffering. We get success stories as well.

Responding to your post, let me tell you that death isn't a positive escape. No one wins,

not you or the people you left behind. It's an abrupt ending without any warning that others

will tell you that the heartache is fierce when losing someone by their own hand or fate.

This post is a more positive one from you. Maybe you've had time to think, maybe something someone said on this site made you realize that life is an adventure and should

be journeyed to the end. After all, what is the rush? That peace and deep sleep will come

soon enough.

Meanwhile, we must be thankful for every waking moment so as not to miss something.

I relish each day, knowing of the surprises I've gotten when least expected. I want to

experience all that life has to give. I don't want to just enjoy that last meal as those on

death row do. I want to enjoy sharing and giving to others and bringing a smile to those

who so need it.

We are all here for a reason. At this time and place. It's not a coincidence that you came

to this forum in your hour of need. It was meant to be. It took me many years in struggling

with Anxiety and Agoraphobia to find myself, to have a reason to wake up each day.

I will live each coming day to the fullest so that when my time is up, I will be able to rest

peacefully knowing Life was a Blast and I'm glad I never gave up. Agora1 xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

How can you be so sure that it isn’t a positive escape?

Why must it always be such sorrow and loss.

Why can it not be a shove off to a sea of new “life” where the struggling we face in this realm is reversed in the next.

I’ve made a choice to keep fighting till the end of my days..for now.

Appreciating others who spill their hearts for the betterment of the sufferers.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Pittiedad, it's possible that the struggle we face is reversed in the next.

But no one knows for sure. Are you willing to take that chance?

We've had people on this forum who have wanted that escape and came back

after treatment expressing how happy they were in not having gone through it.

We all have choices in life. Know that those choices affect more than just you.

I'm glad you're here my friend. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Apologies and your words are sincerely accepted......

My gram and aunt both left this world at their own hand.

I’ve lost some friends along the way the same way.

My way of acceptance over the years has been to find the positive side of it.

Everything in the universe has a balance.

Up/down

Yin/yang

Perhaps our journey through depression is less burdensome if we choose a perspective on the other side that isn’t just another eternal hellish torture machine like this current existence to some of us at times.

Love you for your reaching out and sharing your heart.

Thank you agora1

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Don't lose hope, we will walk the walk with you. xx

[Elliott_Woods]

I feel what ur saying 🖤 pickin up what ur laying down.

[Misspell]

I'm so very sorry you lost two family members to suicide. I suffered from finding my son and I can not imagine your loss. After finding my son I wanted to escape and move on. I thought about many ways to end it. I thought about the unbearable pain that was left and I fight not to give this pain to my family. Everyday I think about why I'm still here, who really cares. I've lost so much, and sometimes I feel like I already died and I'm in hell. My youngest son tried to reach me one day and I missed his call. He lives with the death of his brother through suicide and he was very scared and upset when he couldn't reach me. When he reached me later he was crying and so upset.He told me that he would not make it through the loss of me as well as his brother through suicide. A parent should not out live their children, and a child should not live their whole life with the loss of a parent. I hope one day when my journey on this earth is done, I can move on to be with God and my love ones. I can't wait to give my son and mom a hug and spend eternity with all my love ones. I'm sorry reading this post is very hard for me. Please be strong when our journey is done we can move on. Thank you for letting me vent. ❤

[Hidden in reply to Misspell]

So deeply sorry for your loss.

And Im sorry for bringing up such pain in you.

I only seek to relate to some others.

I have two boys as well and can’t imagine the suffering.

Please believe that perhaps your son is pain free and glowing somewhere else in this story and that one day you shall be right beside him.

Thank you for sharing with me