I dont know what to say, just hope your so much your all diffrent to me. I was shy, life was so lonely for me, yes I had lots of friends and family, love my job and training, but I never had a girlfriend until 53, it was hell before, just 4 one night stands, I am not a bad looking guy, its just being shy is hard.
Then a friend I had a crush on from about 16, came into my life for two years, we got on like two teenagers in love, spoilt her rotten, 5 holidays, God she had everything, then without a row, she just left. its coming up 5 years ago, and this morning did not get up until 12 again, as I dont want to face the day without her. i feel lonely, so fed up, anxiety, and just fell like doing nothing, I miss her so much still, time does not heal, it makes it worst. And she will not even talk to me or say hi, nothing at all from her for 5 years, and I still feel so bad. the only way out is to end it, as I put up with it for 53 years, now after having all the sex I wanted with the girl of my dreams, and more than that, being with a girl, walking, holding hands and teasing her.
I now feel 100 times worst than before, I miss her still so much, I just feel so ill all the time and want to cry, and feel frighted. on two lots of tablets twice a day. HOW DO YOU MEET SOMEONE, I ONLY WANT HER BACK, BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO TRY SOMEONE ELSE. On Tinder and P of F, but not much luck, I "NEED" someone in my life to help me and be with, I felt she was part of me, now part of me as gone, and I dont want to do life like this, the only way out is to end it, but I dont want that, I cant do that. BILLIONS on this World, but I cant even find one girl to talk to ??? Why am I writing this, its not going to get me anywhere.
Wayne