I don't know much about depression but it has another name. Depletion. We can experience it when we have nervous exhaustion and have lost hope. And we can experience it as the hand maiden to anxiety: we become depressed at the thought of facing another day of high anxiety.
Anxiety has a lot to answer for. It robs us of good jobs, relationships and the ability to develop our true potential to contribute to the common weal of the community in which we live. Clearly anxiety has to go, time to give it its marching orders.
Some anxiety we must expect. But when for some reason we reach anxiety overload our nervous system rebels. The reason for our decline may be over work, toxic relationships, money worry, grief, shame, disappointment and loss. As we reach some sort of break down our nervous system becomes over sensitised.
This expresses itself in various ways. Health anxiety where every pimple becomes a tumour. Every visitation of indigestion becomes heart failure. Every stiff muscle must be MS. Agoraphobia where anxiety persuades us to remain in the sanctuary of our home to protect us from non existent monsters that stalk the great outdoors. Or derealisation where tired nerves give the false impression that we have withdrawn from the reality of life even though physically we remain.
The tricks anxiety play on us, its power to imitate true physical illness are legion. And we fall for it every time because fear has entered the equation. We become fearful that we will lose our job, lose those we love, lose physical health, even lose our lives. These things release a surfeit of adrenalin, the fear hormone, which empowers fake symptoms of ill health. This causes more fear, more fake symptoms as we enter a merry-go-round of misery.
This we are inclined to fight: isn't that the way to free ourselves? No, not with anxiety disorder where fighting causes more stress and tension when our nerves crave less. Instead of fighting we must train ourselves to accept the symptoms of anxiety for the time being, we have to agree to co-exist for the moment.
Acceptance stems the tide of fear on which nervous symptoms thrive.
This then is the first lesson of recovery: we begin to regain our quiet mind by fearlessly accepting the bad feelings and strange thougts. At last there is light at the end of the tunnel and no train in sight.
