Why does this keep happening to me?

[DemureRose]

I swear. I must be giving off some kind of vibe to every friend group I’ve been in that warrants them excluding me time and time again.

In the past six or so years I’ve been four different friend groups. And out of those four, only one friendship didn’t result in my being eventually excluded from get togethers.

But like this recent group? I’ve said yes to pretty much every idea to go hang out, even when I really didn’t want to. I said yes and I participated and I at least pretended I was having a good time. I don’t feel like I’ve given the impression that I would say no to hanging out. So why did two of my friends decide to go out to eat with each other multiple times in a week?

Our other friend was out of town, It would have been only us three. Why not just ask me if I wanted to come? I don’t understand the logic. And honestly, I don’t care if they like one another more. But it seems cruel to hang out with just each other and then put that all over social media. It’s one thing to just grab a quick bite, nothing special and exclude someone. It’s another to make a production about it. Right??

And last night, one of our other friends got back from her nearly 2 week long vacation (different friend than the other one who was out of town) and my other two friends had like a little welcome back get together. Without me. I didn’t get an invitation. And they posted about it!!! Did they not think I’d see that and be hurt?? Like where’s the logic in that too?

I feel like I’ve made such advances in learning to cope with my social anxiety and getting out of my comfort zone more. Then stuff like this happens and I wonder if I’ve made any progress.

Because this feels like a step back. All of my insecurities I’d managed to talk back, have resurfaced again. Why don’t my friends want to hang out with me? Am I a bad friend? Do they not like me anymore? Did I do something? Did I say something?

My mind is just overwhelmed with these questions I thought I had gotten rid of.

[jocorod]

Same happened to me I used to be really friendly but I noticed people were not. So I decided to be alone and now I don’t have friends I just talk to co workers and my best friend is my cousin.

[DemureRose in reply to jocorod]

When this first happened to me, I became extremely close to my family and I’m a lot closer to them today than I was a few years ago. I’m thankful that my exclusion experience allowed that to happen but it still doesn’t feel great.

[FearIsALiar]

How are you doing?