Call in or not to call in, that is the question.

[HekatHushla]

I'm back at work finally. I was not ready to come back. I really truly hate this place. I'm applying for jobs as fast as I can, but while doing so I still need to make money to pay my bills.

Working with my manager and my psychiatrist I was able to put in a schedule accommodation so that I wont have to answer phones anymore as that is my biggest trigger. I can still do web requests, emails and online chats. We're required to do up to 2 chats at once. Hectic but still manageable for me. I deal with keyboard warriors, but your caps lock cant hurt me. Sometimes they still tell me I'm useless and unprofessional because they're angry. It's hard to deal with, but not nearly as hard as the phones.

The problem I have is that I have to wait for the paperwork to finalize before I'm excused from phone call duty. And theres nothing I or my manager can do until then, even though I walked in with a note directly from my psychiatrist saying phones cause me to have major panic attacks that leave me close to useless for an hour or so. I just have to wait.

I could show up late to work by an hour every morning while my paperwork is processing, but I'm close to a final for my attendance. On the one hand it doeant matter, I'm trying to leave anyways. On the other hand, I am a hard worker and have never been on a final in my life.

I'm so torn on what to do. I'm so tired of fighting for my mental health. I just want to give up. I want to quit without having another job lined up, but I can't do that. Well, I shouldn't do that.

Advice?

[Alwalc]

Hi! I also struggle to go to work, each shift. Although I am fortunate enough, my job is not as hostile as yours sounds. My advice would be, just go, you will be ok once you're there maybe? Or is it bad enough it's just unbearable? I'm g look and you're looking for other employment.

[HekatHushla in reply to Alwalc]

The problem I have is that even with the nicest customers, the second I have to tell them no about something I start having a panic attack. I've had them flip from nice to horrible so fast a few times I was left stuttering. I hate it. I hate feeling so damn useless.

[Alwalc in reply to HekatHushla]

I'm sorry, that's rough. I find pushing myself through those experiences sometimes makes it easier and easier in times to come. Panic attacks are not nice, what ways can you learn to deal with this temporarily? Because everyone has to hear no sometimes. Even customers.