A wounded animal can only be shot so many times before they decide to just stop trying and die

[Rudolph26]

Well I feel like crap. Why the hell do I even try? Put my heart out there and it kinda feels trampled on. You know, why is it when I say I don’t play games I actually f*king mean it, but others don’t? Like what the hell dude? Asking me to be honest with you? Be honest with yourself, what the hell do you really want?

I’m just hurting and I might regret writing this in the morning but what the hell, life is already becoming regrettable

[Hidden]

Hi Rudolph. I won't insult you by saying I know exactly what you mean, so I'll just say I know my version of what you mean. It sucks big time! You feel so violated when that happens.😩

You reached out to me when I needed it most on here, which I still remember. Although I changed my alias, you may still remember. If you do, please don't use my former username. If "Voldemort" is still lurking around, I don't want to give him/her the satisfaction of knowing it's me (hence the name change)

How can I help?

[Rudolph26 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, I really do appreciate it. I’m doing a bit better today. Long story short, a close friend of mine was a bit careless on how he handled some things and it kinda hurt, plus I already had a pretty rotten day so it just added to it. But, we talked and worked things out but I can’t lie, it still hurt a bit.

I guess I just needed to vent and it did help. I just sometimes get tired of constantly being the understanding one, you know? Sometimes it eats at me, because I already feel like I’m not enough for someone and then when stuff like this happens, it makes me feel like I don’t even want to give the little I have. Anyway, it’s kinda a long story and the good part is that we talked and he is making things right. So, I won’t hold it over his head. Just feeling a bit hurt.

Anyway, thank you. I’m glad I was able to be there for you and pretty sure I remember who you are. If you ever need to talk, just know I’m here

[Ambien1711]

Hey. Be Karma. Give peeps only what they deserve. Ya gotta get hard. Have you seen that movie "Get Hard" with Kevin Hart? It's my fave! Save your heart for those who truly give you theirs. Its time to start caring about YOU and only YOU. If there are toxic peeps in your life, delete them! I am sorry you are hurting. I know it seems like you give your ALL and no one cares. But people do care. DO this all for me OK? and-for the friends you haven't met yet! ; )

[Rudolph26 in reply to Ambien1711]

Hey Ambien1711,

Thanks for the understanding. It is difficult and I do think it’s important to delete toxic people. However, this person is a close friend of mine and is actually a really good guy. He just made a mistake and it ended up hurting some people. This being said, he did quickly decide to make things right. I honestly don’t care how bad a mistake is. What matters to me is what they do to fix it afterwards. Yeah, I was hurt but he is making things right. I just needed to vent because a lot of crap happened that day on top of me being informed about some things on his part. But thank you.

Also, never seen that movie. Will have to check it out

[Ambien1711 in reply to Rudolph26]

Well, if he is trying to make it right, then you are doing the right thing to forgive him. It's like me and my husband; he is the stable one but I am plagued with depression and anxiety and I've made mistakes but I ALWAYS try to be better and make them right, so he realizes that I am worth keeping around. So good for you and I hope time heals the wounds.

[Rudolph26 in reply to Ambien1711]

Thanks, I really appreciate the encouragement. It’s always good to have someone there for you despite the flaws. He’s been there for me through thick and thin, so I know he deserves the same. Just sucks that it was him who hurt me, even if it was unintentional. But I know it will heal, he is a good guy and I don’t like to hold things over peoples heads. Anyway, thank you again

[Ambien1711 in reply to Rudolph26]

You're welcome ; )

[JaggedEdge]

I know exactly how you feel. I can relate. I truly wish you feel better and happier. I dont think being or getting harder is a good answer. Just my opinion.

[Rudolph26 in reply to JaggedEdge]

Hey JaggedEdge, I agree that getting more hard hearted isn’t the best answer. It’s important to remember that because I did go that route before and it wasn’t healthy and very counter productive. Not something I want to do again. But, I must admit, it is hard sometimes. When I get hurt I tend to shut down and I don’t like it. This being said, I will keep what you said in mind because I know it’s true, even if I don’t like it.