I tried so many times but failed

I need help i have no one to talk to i feel sad everyday so much anxiety that i i disappoint everybody people that want to be my friends will get hurt because that is who i am no one knows that i fell this way so please if there is anyone who want to talk juts please

[CanuckAnon]

I get how you feel... why do u think you disappoint people? Could this be your anxiety brain lying to you? That does happen. You are not alone- feel free to vent talk whatever... no judgement. We have all been there at 1 point or another!

😊☀️🌷

[Hidden in reply to CanuckAnon]

because i chose wrong choices dont know what is wrong to me..maybe it is all this my brain but i dont know how to fix it, nothing works for me.Im just broken,thanks for answering i appreciate it so much

[CanuckAnon in reply to Hidden]

We all make mistakes. It’s could be your brain with all its negative thoughts is making u doubt yourself and your choices.

Have you tried making a pro and con list for decisions or choices? That way you can see if your brain is being fair in its assessment of your choices.

Whenever you start thinking negatively about yourself write down what it is... then look at it and determine if this is real or imagined. This can help... have you tried meditating or yoga to quiet your mind and help you relax? Do you find walking or any activity calms you? I reward myself daily with a bubble bath for dustracting myself to get tasks done... it makes me feel accomplishment which only helps me feel better about myself... here if u need to talk. 😊☀️🌷

[Hidden in reply to CanuckAnon]

Thank you so much.I tried writing on papers everytime when i fell like i want to end it and you know it helped at the time but when i moved to another house i just trove them because i couldnt read them.My problem is that i still have to find what is calming me because i have some anger issues not bad one but still,i like to workout but i just quit volleyball because i didnt felling like i was good enough and i cant go back there

[CanuckAnon in reply to Hidden]

Then what about practicing volleys and serves against a wall till u build your confidence up? I have felt this about myself so you are not alone. I find writing out the bad stuff in my head helps bcuz I can get it out and it ysyally makes me see it as negative fluff and untrue. I ding combatting feelings with facts will make me realize how wrong I was or how I reacted not so positively to something... it’s hard but possible. Just don’t give up.

I find endorphins the best mood changer like when I go for a walk I literally unplug from everything.. I bring my phone on airplane mode so I can take random pics of whatever catches my attention. I find that this helps me get outside into sunshine and appreciate the beauty of nature while fulfilling my lungs with fresh air and my blood stream with happy endorphins... I reward myself with bubble baths bcuz it’s like a warm comforting hug.... I get out relaxed and comfortable... just a few things that help with my negative thought clear out and helps with my anger as exercise melts anger.... at least for me.... 😊

[Hidden in reply to CanuckAnon]

thank you so much for getting your time to write this you dont know how much this means to me to see that someone cares i will try to find something that calms me thank you again

[CanuckAnon in reply to Hidden]

Try meditation? You tube has lots of different ones and yoga? I find this calming and boosts endorphins.... again I use YouTube.... I use YouTube for lots of distraction .... lol

You are definitely not Alone! Anytime u need to talk... im never far from my phone unless I’m out for a walk... that’s my unplug time.

[Angelz in reply to Hidden]

I too feel this way all the time. I am constantly trying to fix me. Nothing ever seems to work. Today has been a good day, however I can't help but dread what tomorrow brings. I don't want days like this to end and when they do depression sets back in. Alm I st a year ago i got my bestest friend in the whole 🌎. She is a mini Schnauzer. Though I still struggle daily, and some worse than others, I have to say she has given me so much strength and reason to keep moving forward. She gives me an ear that always listens, never judges, and a ❤ full of real unconditional ❤. I bead, listen to music of many genre's, color and journal. Like I said some days though are better than others and some days I just can't find the strength to function. I feel so alone at times even though there are always people near. The biggest struggle is knowing i am just as draining on them. I tell them all the time at least u can walk away, I am stuck in my own prison unable to escape my own skin. I have upped my therapy to 2 sessions a week so we will c how that goes as I have just started that.

[Hidden in reply to Angelz]

I had a dog ,everytime that i was sad i would talk to him but he died last year.I will try to focus on what will today come not tomorrow you should try that to,thanks for writing this i hope it will be better for you

[mvillarreal]

Have your friends told you that you've disappointed them? If they have, do you know exactly what it is you did to make them feel that way? Knowing the answer to that might help you be better suited to apologize, make amends, and have a future relationship with them. If they haven't told you that, are you just making assumptions? Maybe, in that case, it may be helpful to say something like, "Hey, this might sound like a silly question-or not-but have I ever done anything to upset you?" If they say no, you're probably just beating yourself up about something that they actually don't see as a big deal. On the other hand, if they say yes, listen very carefully to what they say. This will help in amending the behavior in the future and will also help in allowing you to make a sincere apology. In any case, know that you are never defined by a mistake (or even a series of mistakes) you've made. We're all human; we all hurt people sometimes; and that doesn't make us bad. It just means we have to focus on improving ourselves and getting a little better each day.

[Hidden in reply to mvillarreal]

Yes they told me that i disappointed them and i know the reasons i think i hold to much on the past and thats my bigest problem.Sometimes im not thinking dont know what im doing and later i regret,everyday i try to change but somedays i just cant..Thank you so much for writing this

[mvillarreal in reply to Hidden]

Did you offer them an apology? That can be very useful in mending the damage that's been done. Maybe offer to do something so you can make it up to them too. You say that you feel like sometimes you "just can't" change. Why do you think that is? And I also wonder, what exactly do you mean by "holding onto the past too much"? Do you tend to hold grudges, or is it something else?

[PastelPink20 in reply to mvillarreal]

It’s true. Your friends might be able to verbalize that they aren’t disappointed. Or if they are, like mvillarreal said, you can learn from it.

That’s the biggest thing! Realizing that your mistakes aren’t all of who you are.

It’s okay to make a mistake and learn it. Next time, you’ll be equipped to deal with the situation. You can learn to believe in your future self.

[PastelPink20]

Hey rebeka1. How’s your day going? What have you done today that you enjoyed?

Congrats on realizing and admitting that you need help! It can feel like a breaking point... a sad desperate thing. It’s wonderful to ask for what you need. To want to and be courageous enough to seek change - what a good thing!

This is the start in a long journey. It will have hills and valleys. Right now, you’re in a valley. Life has both. Hold onto that hope. Fight for believing in a better future for yourself.

Depression and anxiety are the worst! Their comorbidity makes them sort of fight against each other. Depression says no one cares about you and anxiety says they’re all looking and watching everything you do and it’s not good enough!

Part of anxiety can come with unrealistic expectations. We can have an idea of who we should be and what we must do... sometimes, it’s seeking perfection - an impossible task. Living with that judgement and shame in your head constantly means that you’re feeling like a disappointment all. The. Time. It’s mentally exhausting.

So, what’s the good news?

You can change. You can grow. You can talk about it. You can learn to identify the negative self talk and replace it with kinder positive words.

There are treatment options! You can read and research anxiety and depression to understand them better. You could talk to a therapist, school counselor, or a doctor. You can spend time with friends being yourself. You can try different things: writing a list of nice things about yourself, mindful meditation, exercise or whatever. There are medications for both of these diagnoses. I know that isn’t an option for everyone.

You might think you’re disappointing people. But, your perspective might be distorted by your anxiety. (Google: cognitive distortions to learn more). You might be afraid of disappointing and hurting people because you think you’re a monster.

You’re not the monster.

Depression is the monster.

Or anxiety is the monster.

You might be hiding it well. Or, if you said something to someone, then they might have already been able to tell. These things have a tendency to suck the life out you. Idk. It’s a large burden to carry - changing yourself for the benefit of others.

The people around you, if they love and accept you, they want you to be okay. They want you to love life and support you. They want you to help yourself and use resources to grow. (I find this is true... but I wouldn’t have believed it).

Personally, I can’t journal well and I don’t have sports or anything. I like watching movies, taking walks, listening to music, drawing. What do you like to spend time doing? It might be good to do those things.

You may feel broken. But, that doesnt mean you’re ruined. You’re a human being. You’re allowed to make mistakes and learn from them (Google: growth mindset)!

“Nothing works for me” - that’s not accounting for what you haven’t tried or what’s possible. (All or nothing cognitive distortion)

“I don’t know how to fix it” - I needed therapy, meds, and time. Professional help helped me.

“Idk what’s wrong with me” - probably it’s a lot of things you’re carrying, weighing down on your mind, from when you were little to however old you are now. It’s how you think subconsciously, affecting how you think and behave, and it’s seriously disappointing you. It’s overwhelming stuff. You’re not alone in coming to the place you are now.

There are suicide hotlines or crisis hotlines you can text. Just to talk to someone and get it out. To be honest and real in a safe space.

You’re a fighter. Dealing with all this stuff. It’s not easy. The anxiety isn’t you.

I hope you find a sense of hope, peace, and a possibility of joy that helps you look forward to a new day. I know what’s it’s like being filled with nothing but dread.

💕💕💕

[Hidden]

Im here. I have PTSD no one wants to believe I have it,and suffered from it. They have heard ,and seen me in my nightmares. So write me❤️

[Hidden]

Hey there! Why are you so sad, and why do you think you keep disappointing people? What makes you the saddest? What makes you the happiest?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I cant tell why im sad cuz im just you know i forgot what real happness looks like i want to believe that everything is going to be okay.I keep disappoint people cuz sometime i dont think what im doing i do stuffs before i think are they even good i am trying to change that.What about you how are you?

[bandit09]

You can talk to me. I pretty much feel the same way.

[romans]

Hi Rebeka,

You are to be comended for reaching out for help. You don't want to hurt others, and in doing so you hurt yourself. There are no quick fix answers. One of the major causes of anxiety/depression is our thinking. A book which I feel has great potential for you is: "The Power of Right Believing" by Joseph Prince. It is not another self-help book; rather it is reliance on Christ Jesus. Please order this book, or check the library. If you get this book, let me know, and if you have any questions.

Rebeka, there is an Answer available, but not in ourself. God loves you, and His love for you is not dependant on who you are or what you do (unconditional love). Nothing about you can ever make God love you more or any less.

[Hidden]

Your post is one long sentence, without any punctuation. If this reflects your talking style perhaps learning new skills is necessary.

Communication skills can be learned and they are rewarding to have. Its good way to distract yourself from self recrimination. With the bonus of improving your relationships.