Forever Alone

[Vtower]

I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression my whole life. I have always felt alone in this struggle. When I do try to share my feelings with family I end up bringing them down and a vicious cycle is created. Therefore I bottle up everything and build up walls. (I don’t want to feel like a burden.) I’m almost 35 years old and have never really been in a romantic relationship or spent much time dating. Dating and job interviews are what brings me to the peak of anxiety. I’m ready to change that, but I’m having trouble knowing how to start. Most of my friends have married and are starting their families and I no longer feel a connection. I just want to feel peace.

[willowtree02]

I feel very similar to you. My family doesn’t understand what depression is. I live alone and feel like I’ll never find my special someone. I can’t keep a job for more than a year or two. It’s hard.

[Vtower in reply to willowtree02]

Yes! I think a few in my family are in denial about their depression and don’t want to talk about it. Ugh. So frustrating. I’m a mail processing clerk I don’t have to deal with the public and have basically built myself a little bubble. Looking for a job every year or two would be so stressful!

[LostHashbar]

I can relate. I’ve been looking for a job since I got laid off due to “reduction in force” from Covid. Interviews are crushing. I’m ok during, but before and after I’m a wreck. Also, while my family says they understand, that’s only intellectually. They still think and show by their actions that I’m the one that has to conform to their “standards”, I have to “behave”. Very frustrating.

[Vtower in reply to LostHashbar]

I can imagine how stressful that must be. I’m not okay before or during interviews but after I’m just glad it’s over. I hope you find something soon!

[ESP1138]

Welcome to my Hell. I turned 44 two days ago. It was a mostly lonely birthday like those before. I am an unemployed janitor with no prospects. My cat has helped me find some peace though I still wish I could have human contact. Maybe volunteering would help with the anxiety and with the possibility of creating connections.

[Agora1 in reply to ESP1138]

Belated Happy Birthday ESP1138 !

I like your profile...very clever.

I have done a lot of volunteering in my life. I did it during the

times my anxiety was high. It gave me a purpose for myself as

well as those I met during those times. We all need that human

contact. There are so many lonely people in this world. Maybe just

maybe, you reaching out to help others, with help yourself. xx

[Vtower in reply to ESP1138]

Yes! Thank you! I have thought about volunteering. Have you done any volunteering yourself?

[Hidden]

Do you take antidepressants and anxiety meds?

[Vtower in reply to Hidden]

I do take antidepressants and I try not to take the anxiety meds.