I can't feel my emotions (anyone else?)

[Lindsey14]

I can't really feel my emotions, im scared i don't care about anyone or thing. I know I care, but I can't really feel it so it terrifies me. Im scared that feeling of not caring is true....Am i heartless??

[Hidden]

No you are not heartless, as proven that you care about not feeling your feelings. I too have had similar feelings, or lack of feelings. My therapist showed me that my mother was emotionally absent in my childhood and emotionally neglectful, abusive thru my adulthood. I didnt see it until she pointed out things that had happened or reactions I didnt get from her. Plus for 45 yr I was a nurse, always focusing on others feelings. So here I am age 67 and have trouble identifying how I feel. Therapist had me keep a journal, minimally putting a name with my feeling about the day. That was hard. I made a list of all the possible feelings and that helped. I have to consciously define what makes me happy or sad. For example, being with my grandkids makes me happy. So I make a point to show and tell them that and reinforce that in my head. Slowly, I am learning to put a name on my feelings. You have feelings, they might be buried deep but you can dig them up. Let us k ow how it goes.like a treasure hunt for your feelings, lol. You can do it!

[Hidden]

If it helps, for a long time I didn't know what I was feeling, to the point that it triggered other significant problems. In my case, a big factor turned out to be PTSD. (You can have it even if you didn't serve in the military as my sister did.)

In my case, for a long time, I would have the thoughts and feelings so fast I didn't know what they were, but they made me feel bad in different ways.

I'm not saying you have PTSD! Just that sometimes we can get so good at stuffing away feelings that they affect us and we don't know why.

'll tell you what helped me: EMDR (treatment for unhooking from PTSD) and my self-compassion class, and any visualization exercise that gets you to "stand outside yourself" to see what's going on "inside".

I love that you're willing to look at why you feel like you don't care.

[Kellyat407 in reply to Hidden]

I have PTSD from a very scary and painful detox after getting addicted to prescription meds. I start EMDR again tomorrow. 😊

I tried it before, but because i was taking benzos at the time, it was not very effective. I didn't have any mind/body connection. I didn't "feel" my feelings at all. Now that I'm in recovery, i understand why my therapist would ask, "where do you feel it?"

So I'm excited to start again. I already had PTSD from an almost fatal accident i was in 20 years ago. Only I didn't realize that was why i have had such bad anxiety. My brutal detox was way scarier to me than that accident though. So i guess i have PTSD on top of PTSD.. is that possible? Lol. I hope my new therapist will know where ro start..

[Downandout123]

No, I don't believe you are heartless. I feel like that too sometimes.-like a disconnect from people. I believe it's a way of self preservation. I believe it's because of my childhood. I had a mother, but it's like I didn't. She did all the things for us that a mother should-took care of all our physical needs-cooked, kept a clean house, we didn't want for anything. But emotionally-she just was not there. Not for any of us. So I think it's sort of my way of keeping my distance from people. Could it be something like that for you?

[Crigsby in reply to Downandout123]

What a great way to explain this feeling. I couldn’t agree more. I come from similar circumstances but never looked at it that way. It’s amazing how things like this can still have such a profound effect on you as an adult.

[Downandout123 in reply to Crigsby]

For sure!

[Lindsey14 in reply to Downandout123]

Idk about the parent part for me, my mom has always been here

[Kellyat407]

You are not heartless. Quite the opposite in fact. You, more than likely, once had what i call "big feelings".. a.k.a. wore your heart on your sleeve.

I went a long time w out feeling when i was taking benzos and opiates. Those feelings came crashing down on me ten fold during recovery. It got to the point where it hurt so much and was at times unbearable. (Feeling like this is what made me start abusing prescription meds, only i didn't know this for many, many years). So i shut down to protect myself. Felt nothing for about a year. Just didn't care anymore. Those feelings can't be kept hidden though, they are still there.. and eventuality they'll find their way back to the surface. Unless you are a psychopath and i highly doubt that. 😉

Mine have, again, come back so I'm in the process of trying to learn coping skills. Who knew I'd still have so much to learn at my age! (45)

You need to find a healthy way to process your feelings, rather than stuff them down deep. Journaling, meditation and talking w my therapist helps me.

[Agora1]

Hi Lindsey, your emotions are there, it's just that right now that are wrapped

tightly around your anxiety making no room to share. It's a very normal response

when struggling with overwhelming anxiety. You are far from being heartless.

Before helping others remember you must help yourself first. Hugs xx