Self-Confidence - How???

[PastelPink20]

I’m not asking how to be confident. I know we’ve all heard, “fake it til you make it.” It’s just been a core theme in therapy - I don’t believe that who I am is good or that people will like me. So I change.

**How do I believe that I am capable of living?

How can I trust in myself and my decisions?**

I’ve moved past it a bit. I’ve learned to like different things about myself. I’ve learned to believe my family actually loves me. I’ve learned how to take care of myself.

Does what I’m asking make sense?

I lived with such uncertainty and didn’t get that reassuring love when I was younger... how do you recover from that? I can’t make any decisions for myself based on my own opinion - I need external validation.

It’s like I’m terrified and repulsed by who I am, despite all the work I’ve done to find the beauty and worth in myself.

[Samieeeee]

Start by being kind to yourself. You are trying your best and that’s all you can do. Keep working on it. The little changes you made will build into larger ones. Keep the hope. Download the thinkup app and record your own positive affirmations to listen on repeat. Also try listening to the podcast new mindset who dis by Case Kenny it helps me when I listen to it to help build self love. I am working on building my self love too. I need validation from other people too and it’s something I’m working on. This process does not happen over night and it’s super painful but it will be worth it if we keep working at it.

[PastelPink20 in reply to Samieeeee]

Thank you! I will have to download that app and try that podcast.

I will keep at it.

💕💕💕

[SarcasmIsFun]

I like to make this joke when people talk about positive self talk in the mirror " mental health means you can't even believe in the ONE person who is suppose to have your back...yourself. Which means I can't believe a word that b**** in the mirror says!"

I understand completely about not liking or even trusting yourself. I struggle with this as well. External validation feels both necessary and shameful, right? And when someone verifies your negative inner dialogue it is both comforting and soul crushing.

I have no fix, no answer, and no cure. All I can offer is that you are not alone.

Also, humor, specifically sarcasm, is very helpful in dealing with the day to day crap.

[PastelPink20 in reply to SarcasmIsFun]

Hah!! That’s so true and hilarious. 😂 Thank you for that. It reminds me of when I make a joke in therapy.

Yes, I wish I didn’t need it sometimes. But, I’m trying to accept it and not shame myself about needing help that we all need sometimes. But yeah, I want to believe in myself 😊😊

Thanks for the solidarity. I will look a little harder for the humor in the midst of this.