Intro to me

[Uphillyeti]

I have never done anything like this before so Im sorry if I seem a little off. Since I was 22 I was always afraid I was going to die. Ive had 2 cardiac arrests since then and have an implanted cardiac difibulator (ICD). Im only 34. I worry each day will be my last and that I will die in fear. I dont have a religion so Ive been told that people cease to exist when they die. This terrifies and depresses me. I feel anxious on a daily basis. I often worry that they smallest thing will lead to my demise. Right now I do not take any medications because I haven't had steady insurance for awhile. My last insurance was too expensive to see a specialist. So now I just sit and wait. I recently got a new job and insurance wont kick in till July first. I don't know if Ill be able to get any medications or help before that. I feel stagnant and scared right now. I want this all to be over with.

[Agora1]

Welcome to the Forum Uphillyeti

I too have A-Fib...w/o cardiac arrest. I was in the hospital

at the time when I felt it come on. It was addressed immediately

and I was put on medication.

Besides meds, I use daily Meditation and Breathing which helps

tremendously. Maybe you can start looking into Meditation which

has a lot of powerful results. Even when you do go on meds, it helps

to bring down your worries and fear about your heart.

I'm glad you choose to come on this site for support. We have a

wonderful group of men and women who truly care as well as others

like ourselves that also have A-Fib and other heart anomalies.

I would like to see you learn to breathe in peace and calm and exhale your fears. xx

[Uphillyeti in reply to Agora1]

Ive tried few meditation apps on my phone. Had one app i liked but they changed it all around and are trying to get people to sign up for a subscription. Id do a subscription if i knew it was worth it. Any suggestions?

[Agora1 in reply to Uphillyeti]

You never have to pay for Meditation. My go to is YouTube..

Let me take a look and write you back with a suggested start.

I use a variety of different videos. What makes it work for me is

finding the ones that have mellow voices in bringing you into deep

relaxing calm.

I'll will get back to you. xx